Clegg Wakes Up n States Bloody Obvious

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Confucius say: “When cat’s away - mice will play” – and that little axiom sums up the current state of affairs in Downing Street where Broken Britain’s Deputy PM Mick ‘The Mouse’ Clogg is making his voice heard (Have no fear, Cloggy’s still here) while Dave ‘Tiddles’ Scameron is off on yet another junket, this time over in the Great Satan showing his smarmy face at the back-to-back G8 and NATO summit conferences.

Reading from a scaremongering script obviously prepared by some career dog wanker at the Ministry for Stating the Fucking Obvious, Cloggy today spoke with a press hack from the Insolvency Gazette and warned that any collapse in the eurozone – specifically by the tosspots running grotty Greece - would create the ideal recipe for an increase in extremism and xenophobia throughout the 27 member EUSSR community – and the rest of the known Universe.

Well of course it will promote an ‘extremist reaction’ from socio-political activists, and too the legions of unemployed and homeless, as they’d have no other option nor alternative to combat or resolve the economic disaster that has morphed out of the fatally-flawed EUSSR experiment – and by the phrase ‘extremist reaction’ we are referring to a 1789 / 1917 style blood and guts-spilling revolution where first the ruling class gets it in the proverbial neck – (now they’ve imprudently brought about the mass extinction of the strategic ‘first strike’ middle class buffer zone) - followed by a violent display of jingoist fanaticism as the legions of swan-roasting / carp-poaching economic immigrants will be next in line and cop for the chop also.

To wit, this phenomenon was manifested by the 87,000 separate racist incidents, ranging from name calling to physical abuse, recorded in Britain's schools alone between 2007 and 2011 – and political incorrectness besides, things ain’t getting any better.

Clogg attempted to deny the Libservative Coalition had morphed into a bunch of austerity fanatics regarding the spending of the public’s money on the actual needs of the public - but did concede that their rhetoric had perhaps been a bit too ‘Chicken Little-ish’ in the early stages due the fact they needed to convince the common herd it was necessary and in their own best interests.

“When the government was informed the original economic growth predictions spewed out by our iconic Whitehall ‘Oracle’ had been totally wrong we decided to take a page out of the old Monty Python handbook and ‘do something completely different’.”

“This tactic unfortunately manifested into yet another complete balls-up and dragged the UK even further into recession – the culpability for which I personally believe belongs squarely on the shoulders of Chancellor George Osborne as the tosser could well have picked up the phone and given that sexy slut Christine Legarde a call at the Belgium-based Brussels Bank of Last Ditch Bailouts – or even popped round to see his Uncle Mervyn at the Bank of England on Eye of the Needle Street here in the City and begged for another dose of his magical quantitative easing medicine to tide us over.”

“Really, it’s damn annoying when bloody people get into barrack room lawyer mode and go round saying the entire capitalist economic model is a flawed Debtocracy and they want to re-invent the wheel by dumping the practices of fractional reserve lending and commodities speculation by banksters – and these sub-prime loans and CDS credit default swaps and derivatives investments – and have the sodding Treasury start printing our own £ pound notes again, interest free - as Baron Rothshite’s crime syndicate heavies are simply not going to allow that to happen and see their rice bowl smashed.”

In response to Clogg’s ‘Doom and Gloom’ message concerning the imminent collapse of the eurozone currency model, the UK Independence Party leader and MEP Nigel ‘Indestructible’ Barrage informed the media "Mick Clogg has finally woken up and warning, as I did years ago, that the drastic failures of EUSSR leadership and policies are leading to a growth of revolutionary extremism.”

"What the fuck did the brain-dead Librarian-Dummercrats expect from their hallowed European Union when the end game product is total federalisation aimed at specifically stripping away national democracies and leaving the common herd impotent and no say in their own futures?”
“Once you remove their iconic ability to hold a democratic forum on matters of national importance and pursue a covert policy of creating a multi-cultural dysfunctional society without borders then you leave people with fewer legitimate ways to express their opposition to this enforced status quo."

“The wholesale disruption of British society is on the agenda and the four pillars of our human identity - those four major collective forces of Race, Religion, Family and Nation are to be tossed asunder with the federalisation of the EUSSR community.”

“Hence we have the common herd waking up to these facts and exhibiting the symptoms of Oppositional Defiance Disorder Syndrome as they use the facilities of subjunctive retrospect and 20/20 hindsight to realise they’re getting shafted by their own government at every turn.”

“This situation is now reaching a critical mass state and ready to erupt in a cataclysmic chain reaction proportionate to the sum total of past privations and sufferings under the dictatorial misrule of the corruption-ridden Brussels’ dynastic despots and their kleptomaniac panjandrums. And just wait until Yorkshire becomes part of Norway, Kent’s stockbroker belt yuppies have to pay their council taxes to Amsterdam – and Cornwall is governed by our historic enemies – the foul and foreign French. Then the shit’s going to hit the fan.”

“It’s all senseless blather, Cloggy warning that the eurozone needs to prepare some decisive contingency action for a possible Greek departure from the single currency when 90% of the eurozone economies, including Broken Britain’s, are already bollocks deep in recession with no corrective solution in sight.”

“So how do we solve the problem when these stricken economies are run on a debt-based Crapitalist monetary system with the likes of the Rothshite’s Shylock Bank of International Usury and the Debtocracy Bank of Zurich controlling the global financial system - and we have our own Chancellor, George Osborne, a product of the Wilkins Micawber Institute of Economics, in charge of the Treasury and saddled with the sodding mess caused by Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown’s 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill, amended by Osborne’s own creation to become the Bankster Bailout & Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010?”

“One flawed consensus from the International Bank of Hyper-Inflation that’s never going to fly is that the UK drop the base interest rate from the current 0:5% to absolutely zilch to kick-start the economy when even school kids know that the only thing that will ‘galvanise’ it into action and growth is to boost the rate up to a minimum of 5%.”

Alas, when 99% of humanity operates according to the dictates of its stomach and sex organs there exists a confounding glitch in the perceptions of mass consciousness that derails their understanding of what the fuck is actually going on in the world and hence works to their collective detriment.

Thought for the day. The old, perhaps threadbare, adage regarding the social engineering control mechanics of rich-poor management - of the rich getting richer while the poor get poorer - has now been put on hold – and while the rich still do actually get ‘richer’ the poor are now simply staying ‘poor’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.