Big Pharma Manipulating Med’ Research

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Big Pharma funded researchers at the University of Smegmashire’s ‘Harold Shipman Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence’ claim to have discovered the panacea for preventing cardio-vascular diseases such as heart attacks and strokes taking their toll in later life: simply start a course of statins from birth.

In yet another case of ‘profits versus moral conscience’ Big Pharma corporations are again funding and manipulating medical research to suit their own corrupt agendas and expand their already dominant sphere of influence – this time with the Chicken Little Medications Co publishing a dodgy propaganda report that claims thousands of heart attacks and strokes could be prevented if the cholesterol-lowering drugs, statins, were more widely prescribed in childhood – or so goes the gospel according to the results of a three-year study carried out with a volunteer crew of 175,000 dairy-addicted hamsters and chain-smoking, alcoholic gerbils.

However the results of the study, backed by Broken Britain’s equally profit motivated NHS Trusts, has come under fire from several civil watchdog groups for being based on manipulated data – (much as the University of East Anglia were found guilty of doing with their flawed ‘snake oil’ science regarding falsified global warming data, conjured up to promote the cursed carbon emissions cap and trade exchange bourse) – due their shitty ‘statins’ being linked to adverse side-effects such as liver problems, kidney failure, charmaid’s knee, muscular atrophy, galloping diabetes – and terminal cases of dandruff.

Whistle-blowing moles working at the Harold Shipman Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence have leaked to Twat-Watch and the Snitch & Grassers abuse sentinel charity groups hard evidence that the National Ill-Health Service’s in-house drugs monitor, NICE, are also suppressing the study’s negative factor results to suit their own money-grubbing agendas and exploit a potential mega-bucks market by lowering the threshold criterion for prescribing statins to a 1% risk of cardiovascular disease within a decade which will lead to ten million more people taking the drugs and boosting Big Pharma’s tax-free profits.

Conversely, Professor Bazzer McScrote, the director of Twat-Watch had this to say to one press hack from the Mortician’s Gazette “Yeah, okay, these statins are among the most widely prescribed drugs in the UK next to Prozac and Valium, and the brain dead public have been sold a stream of scaremongering propaganda that they lessen the risk of heart attacks and strokes. But let’s just look at the nitty-gritty here – is it socially – or morally - acceptable to be medicating healthy people - whether it works or not?”

“What we have are doctors in receipt of Big Pharma largess who up to now have been looking at a patient's age and lifestyle - and elevated blood pressure and cholesterol levels - to work out the risk- and on that equated result start arbitrarily prescribing regimes of statins to combat high cholesterol.”

“Now, that’s the biggest crock of shit going as we can’t live without cholesterol and all the medical jargon spouted is wrong – and they know it – as too this utter nonsense viz good and bad LDL and HDL cholesterols – as neither are cholesterols but proteins that transport cholesterol – and we need a steady supply of cholesterol to repair cell damage and build new cells. In fact, without a decent ‘healthy’ cholesterol level of 250 and over we’ll sicken and die.”

“Unfortunately we don’t have a National Health Service and never have done. Nor do Big Pharma want one as their profits would dry up. It’s a National Sickness Treatment Service out to nurse the symptoms and not the cause. Somewhere along the line, many years back, the Hippocratic oath was corrupted by the pharmaceutical giants who worship at the altar of Mammon and believe that the ultimate achievement on Life’s three score and ten journey is material wealth – and spirituality be buggered.”

“So forget all the NHS’s piss-ant service bulletins – they’re a tease and total crap. Stay sick and Big Pharma can keep dosing you with medications that alleviate the symptoms but never cure the cause – and cancer drugs are the big earner especially with our foodstuffs loaded with carcinogenics.”
“What we need is a healthy diet broadcasting and promoting. Not this ubiquitous mantra of ‘five a day’ plus a coke and a chew n spew burger but ‘ten a day’ – and a couple more if you get hungry – an apple or orange and not a bag of crisps or poxy salted peanuts.”

“Cancer and diabetes and all general internal health problems – including mental - are cause and effect manifestations of abusive lifestyles – and a raw foods diet will cure all and prevent all – and cancer can be stopped in its tracks and prevented from ever metastasising via this simple route of self-treatment.”
“Get the body ‘alkali’ and keep it that way and even the fucking lame shall walk. I don’t care how old or infirm – or how young either – you can and will improve your health and the essential intrinsic quality of your life by observing these very simple and inexpensive principles.”

“If you can’t eat it, then juice it. Neutralise the acidosis and get the body alkaline with liquid chlorophyll – lots of home-juiced fruits, leafy vegetables, herbs and salad foods – and barley or wheat grass – and watercress too – the greatest single mineral and trace element food around.”

“We need to oxygenate the body and achieve a healing PH level of 7:5 – so pure mineral water is a must – not the fluoridated and chlorine-laced crap that pours out of a faucet. Next, salt - we are a bio-electrical entity and need a daily intake of salt – regardless of sodding doctors telling you to abstain or keep it to a minimum due the high blood pressure deceit. I’m not talking about the table salt crap from the Greedy Grocer supermarkets – but pure grey crystal sea salt packed with minerals and trace elements. To maintain optimum health, we need half a level teaspoon per day spread across our meals.”

“As I said, we're a bio-electrical entity – so any negatively-charged electro-magnetic filed can affect us adversely. Just look at the electronic smog we’re living in today with TV and radio signals, mobile phones and the cellphone boosters antennas – and internet broadband and Wi-Fi waves permeating every square inch of our environment. That’s what’s killing the bees – along with Monsanto’s insta-mutant genetically-modified Frankenfood crops - plus their toxic insecticides and pesticides and fertilisers. Believe it or not, this shite has the noxious ability to unzip human DNA – same as these ridiculous carcinogenic tetrawave backscatter full body scanners at airports.”

“Let’s forget the Nanny State propaganda and the ubiquitous cradle to the grave interference and meddling in our lives – with their sinister Codex Alimentarius set to ban the marketing of natural supplements and the aim to irradiate all foods, organic or otherwise – if Japan’s Fuckupshima purposely-inflicted nuclear disaster wasn’t doing that on a global scale already.”

“If it’s not found in Nature then don’t eat it or rub it on your skin or smoke it. Okay, tobacco isn’t that harmful, a couple of ciggies a day to relax - same as a joint. It’s all the other shite they put in tailor-made cigarettes to make them addictive and burn faster that fuck you up and turn people into psycho-neurotic head bangers that are the problem.”

“Same goes with any and all junk, processed, convenience, microwave-ready insta-meals and fast foods laced with MSG. Anything canned, tinned, in jars, bottles or tubs. Bags of crisps and corn crackers, candies, biscuits and cakes and food colourings. Soft drinks loaded with the neutro-toxin aspartame. Growth hormones pumped into dairy and meat products at source. Toothpastes and gob washes loaded with fluoride – a fertiliser / aluminium smelting toxic by-product now added to drinking water supplies – and a grand old Nazi trick to ‘sheeple-ize’ the concentration camp inmates.”

“And to add insult to injury we have the compulsory fitting of Big Brother 24/7 spy system digital smart meters replacing the old analog units – along with the mercury ‘energy-saver’ light bulbs that turn the users into migraine medication zombies.”

“The brainwashed sheeple that comprise the common herd have lost touch with their inner self (inner child too, alas) and simply ‘take a pill’ when they don’t feel 100% instead of adjusting their life style knob to the ‘get well’ channel frequency.
All the cures and preventatives are out there – Mother Nature’s bounty of herbs and fruits and veggies – just follow the Doctrine of Signatures (Goggle it) and bring yourself back into the Circle of Well-Being.”

“To conclude, healthy people don’t need ‘medicating’ – nor do they need vaccinating with toxic chemicals that don’t work like the flu jabs and MMR that causes autism in youngsters - same as normal healthy kiddies getting branded with the undeserved label of having ‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder’. This condition is NORMAL – that’s what kids do – it is not a genetic fault - and they most definitely do not need drugging up with seven kinds of shite such as Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine Atomoxetine, Concerta XL, Equasym XL, Medikinet, and Ritalin – sorry that’s eight kinds of shite.”

“Nor do they need to attend these Nanny State ‘control freak’ psychological counselling sessions or anger management courses – or – Heaven fucking forbid – end up being snatched by some sinister scumbag corrupt social services crew out on a commercial paid by results child stealing / forced adoption scheme – and end up in front of a secret ‘in camera’ family court and some paedophile judge – then taken into care to supply the underground Masonic kiddie fiddling syndicates that operate at the socio-political elitist levels of Broken Britain.”

So, what is it with this current media campaign promoting ‘end of life’ seminars? “We should have talked about it – now we never will.” “Had a cough for over three weeks? It could be cancer – but probably isn’t – so go and see your doctor anyway then he can claim a few quid more in NHS fees and prescribe you some shite like nicotine chewing gum – full of toxic aspartame.” Thus we speculate have Big Pharma’s dirty secrets lab’s come up with the ultimate bio-weaponised bird/pig/fish flu that’ll kill with a single sneeze and they’re conditioning us to be ready for the big six billion cull and mass grave scenarios?

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of so-called doctors were temporarily inconvenienced – and a whole bunch of cancerous tumours 'alkalized' and eradicated.

Thought for the day: Doctors – these are the people who prescribe patients Warfarin rat poison as an anti-coagulant to stop thrombosis - is any fucker aware what this shit does to rats? So why go to one if you don’t feel 100% fit? - a doctor - not a rat. Of all the Western civilisation professions (excluding defenestrating investment banksters and stockbrokers) they have the shortest lifespan of 56 years of age, the highest incidence of mental health problems and nervous breakdowns, the highest recorded abuse of booze and drugs - and the highest self-harming suicide rates.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.