US Marines ‘Piss Off’ Afghans

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai and the cabinet of his Kleptocracy Party government have unanimously spit the proverbial dummy big-time and condemned a YouTube video that shows a group of gung-ho US Marines desecrating the bloodied corpses of several Taliban fighters by standing in a semi-circle and urinating on them as another member of their unit filmed the shameful acts of disrespect and gross profanity committed against the muhijadeen corpses.

While the origin of the video remains unknown, nor has it yet been established who is responsible for posting it online, the Pentagon had ordered an investigation into the authenticity of the controversial recording – with General Billy Bob Redneck, the Marine Corps commander at Camp Dogwanker, informing one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that the ‘water sports’ actions displayed in the video were not consistent with a Marine’s core values – which are apparently to simply kill every fucker old enough to bleed.

The footage shows four Marines in military fatigues urinating on a pile of apparently lifeless, brown skinned, bearded men with bare feet and dressed in the Taliban’s customary loose-fitting jumble sale / Oxfam shop outfits – all of whom appear to be covered in blood – and urine.
One Marine's voice is heard taunting "Have a great day, buddy” as he pisses in the man’s ear – while a second says “Semper Fidelis this Mohammed” and empties his bladder over the bodies.

Interviewed on Kabul TV’s Scumbags Hour programme, the US muppet President Kami-Karzai opined “What is next with the Great Satan’s Yankee barbarians? Will these infidel scumbags start cutting off ears and taking scalps as war trophies? The sooner they invade Iran and get their arses kicked – and have to pull their troops out of our country - the better. Then, Insha’Allah, we shall be shut of them and they can no longer keep stealing our opium crops.”

Shaheed al Ka-Boom, the Taliban commander of the 21st Semtex Suicide Vest Battalion based in Bellend Province, opined to a reporter from War Zone Weekly “How would it be if the Taliban fighters went to the Great Satan’s much vaunted Arlington Military Cemetery and stood around pissing on the graves of dead troopers – and then posted a video recording of this disgusting act on YouTube and Facebook? What then would be the reaction of the Pentagon and White House?”

“Since 2001 they have been screwing the Afghan people up the arse, now they publicly demonstrate their contempt for the valiant Taliban resistance by pissing on the bodies of our fallen comrades.”
“The precepts of the Sharia besides, under Islamic law these troops have committed the great sins of Moharebeh (waging war against God) and Fesad fel Arz (spreading corruption on the Earth) by their foul and inhuman acts.”

Taliban spokesman Ghaban ibn Himar informed the Mossad-controlled Al Jazeera news network that this was not the first time Americans had carried out such depraved acts and that perhaps now similar atrocities would be, in return, visited on the troops of the Great Satan and then posted on YouTube also.

“It was only last week our Taliban high command had decided to set up a political office, possibly in the Gulf state of Qatar – or anywhere with roads and a decent bus service – and running water – and a decent phone system – and a couple of KFC chew n spew outlets - in an attempt to jump-start peace talks with Hamid Kami-Karzai’s running dog stooge government.”
“But now, we do not know how reconciliation can ever take place. As of this moment the offending YouTube video has not yet circulated widely here in Afghanistan but there are fears of a Biblical scale backlash against the foreign devils’ presence in the country once it does – then, as they say in the infidel West, ‘the shit will hit the fan’.”

The offending troopers, identified by the US Navy's criminal investigation branch, belong to the 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marine Cannon Fodder Regiment that served in Bellend Province and were originally based at Camp Atrocity in North Carolina.
The 3rd Battalion has had a range of deployments, which include pissing on prisoners and enemy combatant corpses not only in Afghanistan, but also at Guantanamo Bay and in Iraq and Libya – plus a deployment in 2011, peeing on wildfires in the US state of Idaho.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.