Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Rothshite Denies Scandalson Graft Links

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Nutty Natty Rothshite, the zillionaire hedge fund financier and spoiled brat scion of the ultra-Zionist ‘quantitative easing’ bankster empire, has been forced to endure a hectic media-exposure week of lying through his teeth while giving evidence at his libel case hearing against the Daily Shitraker over their 2010 article which had the audacity to get a bit too close to the truth by shining the Klieg lights on the nasty company he keeps.

Apparently the news report exposed the compromising fact that Natty had invited the unscrupulous Lord Peter Scandalson to join him for a weekend whistle-stop tour of Siberia and meet up with Russian oligarch Oleg Mobsaroubles - the owner of Gulag Gaz and Wankprom Oil - to bestow his EUSSR Trade Commissioner blessings on a £500 million quid dodgy deal and hold ‘who gets what’ discussions over lifting Brussels’ anti-dumping tariffs on aluminium imports to exempt and singly benefit Mobsaroubles’ RussKrapp aluminium conglomerate at the expense of other manufacturers and traders - following allegations they had been fly tipping cheap aluminium foil onto the European markets.

Judge Toby Tugithard, presiding over Court 14 of the Royal Courts of Justice, heard that Scandalson enjoyed the invigorating pleasures of a Russian banya steam bath during his 24-hour visit to the remote region as a guest of Oleg Mobsaroubles – along with Canadian gold magnate Percy Skunk and a certain Rothshite bankster stooge, Sebastian von Fudge – founder of the Vienna Cottagers Society.

Giving evidence on his own behalf, Rothshite swore on a multi-denominational stack of Bibles, Torahs and Korans that the former New Labour minister’s presence was purely recreational and wholly devoid of any corrupt intent – merely a big boys’ get-together which included a visit to the Banya Sauna Club where, while sweating buckets, they were flagellated with bundles of birch twigs by Mobsaroubles’ girl friend - the Ukrainian celebrity nightclub stripper Tekem Orloff - then following a good thrashing, plunged into an outdoor ice bath together to complete the masochistic 'beast with two backs’ bonding ritual.

Ms Sue Fleecem QC, acting for Natty Rothshite, claimed the Daily Shitraker article painted her client as a puppet-master involved in dubious games with the former New Labour spin doctor and Russia's richest scumbag.
Scandalson's relationship with Mobsaroubles came under the spotlight in 2008, following his shifty appointment as Business Secretary for International Graft & Corruption to Gordon Brown’s fatally-flawed New Labour government.

During that period he faced raging criticisms over conflicts of interest surrounding a summer visit to Mobsaroubles’ yacht - a converted US aircraft carrier that boasts an Olympic sized swimming pool in every guest suite and a verdant Astroturf soccer pitch complete with floodlights - anchored off the Rothshite crime syndicate’s summer villa on the Greek island of Corfu – to further discuss the dodgy £500 zillion nicker deal between the Russian and executives from the US-based Anaconda Aluminium – in the presence of the Rothshite crime syndicate patriarch and Natty’s father, Baron Ja’ackoff – and the-then Conservative Shadow Chancellor Georgie Osborne.

The offending Daily Shitraker article further branded Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers as ‘Vermin in Ermine’ and the type of twat who intuitively prompts people to count their fingers after shaking hands with him.

In addition to his established index of shameful notoriety, Scandalson has developed close links with the ruler of oil-rich Kazakhstan and recently spoke at two events organised by Borat Sagdiyev’s Kazakh investment company – Ripoff-Kazyn SA - then flew off in one of the Rothshite executive jets to meet with the dictator of Uzbekistan – President Islam Karimov - the dodgy despot topping the hate lists of every human rights and wrongs activist group on the planet - who has given an all-new definition to the London Met Plod Squad’s strategy of ‘kettling’ pro-democracy political protesters – by boiling them alive.

Do you think Peter Scandalson is the type of scumbag whose serial abuse of privilege and exaggerated sense of entitlement - and delusional importance in the greater scheme of things – serves to give lobbyists a bad name? Or is he simply yet another power-hungry stooge having his official positions extorted by commercial manipulators via the tried and tested routes of ego-massage, bribery and blackmail?

Send us your comments using the online reply form below and you could win an all-expenses paid trip to Siberia and get flogged by some erotic strapon-wielding Dominatrix slut in a traditional sauna setting - while thinking how to win a trip back home again.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: