Friday, 6 January 2012

Perma-Tan MP Calls White ‘De New Black’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Shadow health minister Diane Abbott, the incumbent Labour MP for Blackney who is notorious for her capacity of opening mouth before engaging brain, yesterday apologised to everyone and their proverbial dog for racist comments she made on the Twatter social networking site.

Ms Abbott, the first woman with a permanent suntan to be elected as an MP, later added insult to injury by Twatting that her remark had been taken out of context as she had only called a spade ‘a spade’ – even if it was really a shovel.

The Blackney North and Poke Spewington MP, whose ego-driven blind ambition saw her make a failed bid for the Labour Party leadership in the 2010 contest, had apparently used the Twatter network to post comments that "Dese honky trash scumbags jest love playin’ divide an’ rule. Jest read ya Kipling. Dis is all tactics wot’s as old as slavery an’ colonialism – an’ dey can kiss my big brown ass if dey think dey can get away wiv labellin’ me a black community leader.”

Abbott’s offending remarks were made in reply to an exchange of posts on Twatter, which concerned media coverage of the pathetic Met’s Plod Squad incompetence as being the root cause of the 19-year delay in convicting two of the murderers of Stephen Lawrence – and comments therein that complained over the use of the term "the black community" which seemed to cast aspersions upon Posh Dave Scameron’s concept of multiculturalism and his much-vaunted Big Society integration.

Nadhim Zahawi, the Conservative MP for Anne Hathaway’s Cottage, being a bit of a ‘dark horse’ himself, was fingered as the ideal Tory choice to kick start a war of words shit fight with Ed Millipede’s Labour Party - and issued a call that the loose-lipped Abbott should be sacked for – quote: "intolerable racist remarks and inciting hatred against white people".
"If this was a honky member of the House of Conmans saying that all black people want to do bad things then he or she would have been forced to resign within the hour or got sacked.”

Labour Party spokeswoman Fellattia Mingerot issued a press release from party leader Ed Millipede which stated that “I disagree with Diane's tweet on Twatter and consider it wrong to make sweeping generalisations about any race, creed, or colour – and so should Diane considering all the time she spends at the Whitehall tanning parlour.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: