Wednesday, 25 January 2012

UK Debt Passes 1 Zillion Quid Mark

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ms Candida Mingerot, the UK Treasury’s media secretary, yesterday announced to a gaggle of highly amused press hacks that the UK’s national debt has now passed the one trillion pounds 'beyond a joke' mark – a figure referred to by banksters as ‘lots and lots of money’ – but that in her unqualified opinion this factor simply served to emphasise the incompetence of New Labour’s successive dynamic duo of ‘Scottish’ Chancellors of the Exchequer - Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling – and the unsustainable level of spending they racked up during 13 years of playing Russian roulette with the national economy.

Conversely, this horrifying debt figure besides, the incumbent Tory Chancellor George Osborne claims financial initiatives are still on course to hit his borrowing target for the financial year of a mere £127 billion quid. Que? WTF!? How fucking much? No wonder Britain’s ‘Broken’ with a large capital B - and we’re worried about a bit of personal credit card debt from the Christmas spend or running up a £50 nicker overdraft at the bank.

Why the fuck does Osborne need to borrow £127 billion quid, we’d like to know, considering every expense and outgoing in the country’s been slashed – apart from his jugular - yet.
So we’re bollocks deep in a Debtocracy quagmire. No problems - all too easy to solve if we’re determined to get jingoistic about this.

First off we need to stop kissing the Great Satan’s arse and letting the Rothshite crime syndicate and Tel Aviv set the UK’s foreign policy agenda – and hence defer from getting involved in further overseas military misadventures.
Next on the list, call a halt to handing out the taxpayers’ cash to scrounging Third World dumps – especially those whose ruling scumbag oligarchs have more money than Croesus.

If Alex ‘Three Chins’ Salmond and his Scottish SNP-dominated Parliament want independence, it’s all easy-peasy, no referendum required – just fuck off and shut the gates on Hadrian’s Wall as you pass Go. Bye-bye British Navy bases and shipyard orders – and the BBC – and the NHS – and the Royal Mail. Plus stick the Arbroath ‘smokies’ and the bagpipes.
Oh, and don’t forget the multi-billions your Royal Bank of Scumland owes the ‘English’ taxpayers’ purse.

Then put a stop to paying welfare payments out to EUSSR migrant scroungers – and call a referendum – not a repeat of Posh Dave Scameron’s disingenuous promised ‘Never-Endum’ - on continued EUSSR membership and let’s shitcan our connections with the kleptocracy in Brussels immediately – if not sooner – and hoof out all the European minimum wage donkeys, pseudo-plumbers and swan-roasting Albanian pikeys - and free up the UK’s job market again. Hmmm, keeping Brussels’ sticky fingers out of the taxpayers’ coffers will soon up the ante.

As Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ volunteer project has as much chance of success as shoving butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle as it doesn’t pay anything – and the Department of Works and Pensions scheme to make it mandatory for all unemployed peasants cursed with the Jobcentre’s Stage 4 stigmata to take an NVQ1 Chartered Skip Scavvy course is likewise doomed to failure – why the fuck don’t we toss political correctness to the four winds and hoof out all the European minimum wage donkeys and pseudo-plumbers and swan-roasting Albanian pikeys with their forged qualifications from the University of Make Believe - and free up the UK’s job market again.

Next on this drastic agenda – re-industrialise and start self-financing British skills and manufacturing. Outlaw ‘outsourcing’; railroad a bill through Parliament disenfranchising all ‘Quangos’ – then present the House of Conmans MPs with a salary cut. If the unemployed are supposed to survive on £60-odd quid a week and pensioners on £102 quid then they can take a cut in their £64,766 nicker per annum – plus expenses.

So, how about those for a set of instant fiscal reforms? And all without a qualification in economics - much the same as the clots who got Britain into this mess in the first place – Thatcher, Major, Bliar and Scameron.

Thought for the day. Well at least Britain’s not as fucked up as the good ole U.S. of A with its $16 trillion dollar overdraft. Who fancies paying the interest on that one? Jesus, God rest His soul, had the right idea with the usurious money lenders – shut the shifty Shylocks’ operations right down.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

humanati said...

Excellent! You make me laugh man... :)