UK Plod Squad Target Anarchists

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The City of Westminster Plod Squad’s ‘risk averse’ Counter Terrorist Focus team is on the lookout for further recruits to join their battalion-strength crew of low life grassers and snitches for Project Griffin – the undercover operation currently tasked to spy and report on the activities of suspected socio-political discontent members of Broken Britain’s disadvantaged demographic.

The scope of Project Griffin has its parameters set to include any fucker or their dog suspected to be labouring away with diligence and malice aforethought across the length and breadth of our once-sceptred isle, to undermine the establishe Monarchical elitist order and herald in an age of unparalleled anarchy – as instanced last summer during the Tottenham riots – a phenomenon being further manifested at a geometric rate by the burgeoning ranks of the 99% - Occupy groups affected by this current pandemic outbreak of Oppositional Defiance Disorder that owes its origins to the UK’s economic woes, the ‘recession’ and decades of government ineptitude.

Project Griffin’s published fliers bear the dire warning message that "Anarchism is a political philosophy which considers the state undesirable, unnecessary, and harmful, and instead promotes a non-conformist society bent on acts of civil disobedience. All information relating to noxious anarchists should be reported to the nearest Plod Squad station or any of your local neighbourhood Community Enforcement Officers at the Renta-Moron Agency."

Well, what to do indeed when Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative Coalition and his Millionaire’s Cabinet are out to stereotype anyone who disagrees with their appalling record of mismanagement – or dares mention broken election manifesto pledges promising a one-off ‘in or out’ EUSSR membership referendum - or questions the integrity of the Tory Friends of Israel Club’s intentions by modifying our International Arrest Warrant rulings to allow kikester war criminals to visit Britain without fear of being apprehended for their sins of human rights abuse against the Palestinian populations of the Gaza Strip - or simply has the audacity to complain over the epidemic of potholes infesting our road system – or the fact economic migrants can claim welfare benefits and steal the jobs of the UK’s born and bred unemployed peasant classes.

To wit, any and all who fall under into the above categories will henceforth be branded as a budding anti-Christ preaching the gospel of insidious Anarchy.

Conversely, when our nation’s affairs have been, and continue to be, run so badly we’ve devolved from being the founders of the Industrial Revolution ruling an Empire on which the sun never set to become a Debtocracy under the thumb of the IMF’s usurious Shylock banksters and the EUSSR kleptocrats in Brussels - and the Tory-dominated coalition government’s poll figures have plummeted following the calamitous rupture of PM Scameron’s PIP 'credibility' implant - then it’s little wonder the common herd get pissed off. Plus the ruling elites know it too – hence their justified paranoia that such depressed socio-economic conditions might just kick start rebellious, head-rolling repeats of 1789 and 1917 before 2012 is over and done with.

The circulation of the Counter Terrorist Focus team’s briefing missive has righteously pissed off a legion of the country’s leading patriots, loyal to the statutes of Magna Carta, who consider themselves unfairly criminalised for holding a set of perfectly valid political beliefs – that the government sucks – even if they unfortunately don’t quite gel with Tory Party policy.

Bazzer ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, editor of the Anarchy Gazette, complained “Wot the fuck they at, eh – warnin’ people that we’re a bunch of nutters on the same flyer wot’s about Muslim terrorists wiv explodin’ shoes and jockey shorts?”
“This is typical of the effin’ Tories getting’ their elitist arses back inter Downin’ Street – the place where the bullshit never sleeps – wiv their New World Order scam the primary item on the agenda. Don’t forget, the jackboot’s first steps on the path ter fascism are always tip-toe soft.”

“But wot can we expect in this economic environment when the whole country’s goin’ tits up in a grand spectacular Busby Berkeley fashion an’ the government’s usin’ Kafkaesque an’ Orwellian Big Brother ‘Thought Crime’ brandin’ ter criminalise ideas it deems ter be dangerous ter its own effin’ survival.”
“We’ve already got these stop an’ search orders under Section 60 of the Criminal Justice Order Act of 1994 wot allows searches wivout reasonable suspicion.”

“Then yer got the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act – on top of the effin’ Police Reform & Social Responsibility Act 2011 – wot’s all backed up wiv Section 19 of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act wot allows the plods ter seize any item they reckon might contains evidence in relation to an offence – like yer ‘Scameron Sucks’ protest poster.”

“So wot’s gonna be next on the list, I asks yer? Are they gonna copy wot the Yanks have done an’ class us all as domestic terrorists? Are the Tories gonna push through an Enemy Expatriation Act – an’ a Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act – an’ a National Defense Authorization Act – wot is actually an ‘Indefinite Detention Act’?”

“It’s all a crock of shit cos the Plods are supposed ter work under the convention on human rights wot disallows discrimination against people cos their political beliefs are at odds wiv the government’s deluded ideas. Yeah, I know, an’ pigs might fly too.”
“Now Scameron’s coalition are boostin’ the ranks of these Community Enforcement Officers wot’s just a bunch of uniformed fetishists wiv an officious bent fer intimidatin’ them lesser mortals wot comprises the ranks of the peasant classes an’ piss on our self-esteem an’ personal dignity – an’ that’s us poor fuckers – the lowly drawers of water an’ hewers of firewood.”

“Trust me, these PCSO an’ CEO scumbags, devoid of any realistic Plod Squad trainin’, are all limited by their moronic cultural prejudices cos of bein’ reared on a diet of red top gutter press tabloids an’ TV media propaganda.”

Do you live in an anarchist-infested community? Are there any anarchists operating in your area? How about black Muslim anarchists with dreadlocks and a nihilistic bent? What kind of anti-establishment graffiti gets sprayed in bus shelters and on walls in your neighbourhood?

Send your comments to the Counter Terrorist Focus team using the online Snitch & Grassers form below and you could win a year’s membership of the all-new Libservative Coalition Party.
A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and location, so some feral Bolshie anarchist types can come round and lob a petrol bomb through your front window.

Thought for the day: So, the hypocrisy of Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ concept besides, obviously Project Griffin stands as testament that there will be no magnanimous embrace for members of the national community who disagree with government policy or have the temerity to think for themselves and express outrage at being shafted by their own elected Parliament. To wit, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.