Monday, 1 August 2011

PCC Head Next in Hackgate Resignations

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to a report in today’s Hackgate Gazette claims the inept split-arsed head honcho of the Press Complaints Commission is to resign following lashings of criticism over the body’s ineffective handling of the investigation into the Murdoch News Corporation empire’s phone hacking scandal.

Baroness Candida Busticket, the acting Chairperson of the printed media watchdog since April 2009, has faced a severe backlash over the saga, which led to the embarrassing – and costly - closure of the iconic Sunday 'wank aid' News of the World last month.

One PCC whistle-blowing insider leaked details to the Daily Shitraker that a formal announcement of her resignation was imminent following a meeting of the board of directors on Tuesday, but would not confirm whether she offered to fall on her own sword - or knitting needles - voluntarily, or drink hemlock, or was told to ‘fuck off’ immediately – if not sooner.

The 69-year old Baroness, a woman plagued by retarded naivety, and a person who, much to her own misfortune, still believes wood grows on trees, was made a life peer as Baroness Busticket of Cornhole in 2010, a bestowed honour which paid recognition to her earlier years as a clippie aboard the Berkshire-based Stagecoach public transport system.

In November 2009 she originally came under fire for a report in which the PCC moronically appeared to clear the News of the World of any involvement in the preliminary inquiry into the HackGate scandal after the paper's former royal editor Clive Goodman and investigator Glenn Mulcaire were jailed following their convictions of criminal wrongdoing.

The Press Complaints Commission was established in 1991 to enforce a code of practice for UK newspapers, magazine publishers and unscrupulous publishers and editors – such as Dirty Dick Desmond, Piers Moron, and the ginger-mingin Rebekah (Wade) Brooks.

However, earlier this month, the Libservative Coalition Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, accused the PCC of being "ineffective’ and “as much use as tits on a bull” – with the New Labour leader Ed Millipede – aka the Emissary from the Planet Fuckwit – not missing out on a chance to jump on the political back-stabbing bandwagon, telling one media reporter that the self-regulatory PCC was a "toothless poodle” – just like himself.

Since taking her seat in the House of Lords, the Baroness has voted with a muddled mix of folly against introducing ID cards, more EUSSR integration, a stricter asylum system - and the hunting ban on swan-roasting pikeys and homeless street people.

She has voted against badger baiting and equal gay rights - terming poofters and dykes alike as Biblical abominations – but voted a bizarre mixture of ‘for, against and don’t fucking know’ regarding legislation to stop climate change.

Conversely, on a definite note, and perhaps her sole saving grace, she did vote to disallow ministers from interfering with a coroner’s post-mortem proceedings after the scandalous meddling by Tony Bliar into the inquest set to investigate the assisted suicide of the New Labour government’s chief weapons inspector, Dr David Kelly, before it blow the case wide open and expose the foul deed as a pre-meditated murder by agents of the state, expedited to shut him up.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: