Chins Tell Politburo: “Fuck Communism”

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

To hear it straight from the proverbial ‘horse’s mouth’ – the covert political activists and dissidents on the streets - the pre-Maoist political chaos of General Cash My Cheque’s Nationalist Kleptocracy government was preferable to the Chinese People’s Marxist Utopia they’re stuck with today - governed by successive regimes of senile octogenarians that have gripped the entire one point five zillion population in their totalitarian ‘Chinese burn’ stranglehold since 1949.

With the advent of Mao’s Great Leap Forward and the aptly misnamed ‘Cultural Revolution’ – suffered under the excesses of the greedy Gang of Four - millions of peaceful Chinese citizens have been monitored, arrested, re-educated, tortured to death – (and while imprisoned had their internal organs stolen to feed the highly profitable transplant black market trade) - due the dynastic hierarchy determining the religious beliefs of the masses to be a threat to their rule – and brutally crushed all attempts by anyone having the audacity to contemplate organizing a political opposition party.

Now enter the gallant Mr Fuk Yew Tu and his Tuidang (Renounce Communism) movement, which now numbers over 100 million members – a figure statisticians refer to as ‘an awful lot of people’ – and one that continues to grow at a geometric rate - with approximately 55,000 signing on each and every passing day.

Fuk Yew, a former rickshaw mechanic who went on to gain a prestigious NVQ1 diploma in Barrack Room Law, spoke to one press hack from the Anarchists Gazette, revealing “Our manifesto denies the efficacious constitutionality of the Marxist-Leninist dogma as a valid political doctrine. We want a return to our historic cultural religions and spirituality and sneer at these corrupting attempts by the Politburo to make us slaves to materialistic consumerism and worship at the altar of Mammon like the Debtocracies of America and Europe.”

When the roof of the Bigfoot Bong shoe factory collapsed in Wanking Province due piss poor construction materials being used, killing scores inside, the surviving workers formed a committee and demanded an official inquiry into what became known throughout the Middle Kingdom as the ‘Sandal Scandal’.

However, as the construction company at fault was owned by Wu Tang Willie Wong, the brother of a ranking Politburo member Yip Yap Wong, instead of launching an investigation, paid agents of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) from the dreaded Sum Dum Fuk Triad infiltrated the group demanding justice and compensation for the dead and injured - then arrested and jailed the recalcitrant workers – including their leader Flip Flop Fong and human rights and wrongs lawyer Sue Mee – dishing out harsh, hard labour sentences of up to ten years of re-education in the Manchurian Marmite mines.

Hence from the nefarious seeds of this act of nepotistic favouritism, applied to cover up graft and corruption, did Fuk Yew Tu’s ‘Tuidang’ movement take root and grow - denying the legitimacy of the Communist Party to rule China.

Fuk Yew’s Tuidang political manifesto states that they want a return to the raditional faiths and principles – the ethical concepts and social structures that have been violently usurped and rent asunder by the Chinese Communist Party.
“Empathy, love and spiritual harmony among the people have been twisted into struggle and hatred – which has resulted in a total collapse of social, moral, and ecological systems, and a profound crisis for the Chinese people – all brought about through the deliberate planning, disorganization, and corrupt control of the CCP.”

References to gods or higher forces that watch over man are anathema to the Politburo, which denies the existence of any deity or power greater than their own.
Such spiritual beliefs were historically a fundamental part of Chinese culture from the time of the benign rule of the Yellow Emperor until 1949, when the Communist Party forcefully suppressed all religions and ancestor worship as superstitions born from ignorance.
Thus the Politburo’s draconic suppression of the Beijing-based pop group, Falun and the Gongs, which was forced to go underground after General Sum Dum Fuk ordered his army tanks to carry out a ‘Crush-a-Thon’ around Tiananmen Square in 1989, slaughtering hundreds of democracy activists and human rights protesters.

Hmmm, with a population of 1:5 billion unhappy fuckers watching the pro-democracy uprisings across North Africa and the Middle East, no doubt the Tuidang revolutionary theologists are carefully weighing the implications for socio-political freedom if they collectively apply their numerical potential to say NO to the outdated CCP system and cease to cooperate with their own enslavement – and finally re-educate the Politburo and their rank and file Commissars.

Thought for the day: Cometh the hour then cometh the man – for nothing in this Universe hold more potency than a concept whose time has finally arrived.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.