Plod Brutality Incites Tottenham Intifada

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While one can’t estimate a cost for an act of sympathy or compassion, you can price acts of vengeance and attrition down to the last red cent – just ask the insurance assessors currently surveying the carnage around Tottenham – which now resembles the residential areas of Tripoli after a night of NATO bombings – more at ‘war zone’ than ‘neighbourhood’.

Per the suspicious killing of a local hood by police, people are frustrated by what they view as yet another extra-judicial murder and are demanding answers as to why the ubiquitous CCTV cameras in the area had all conveniently malfunctioned as soon as the Met Plod Squad’s CO19 Armed Response crew morons turned up at the scene to do yet another Operation Kratos style snuff job on the hapless Mark Duggan – a notorious ‘gangsta’ gunslinger type from the Broadwater Farm sink or swim council estate.

Hmmm, odd that those same cameras were all back up and running as soon as the rioting and violence began.

Contrary to ‘official’ news reports, the violence that night actually kick started when the police’s Riot Squad, composed of the infamous TSG thugs – the type of people who give psychopaths a bad name - got bored with the heckling of Ms Feryl Beryl McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three, who was shouting “Why did yer shoot Mark an’ not arrest him? Why wasn’t the incident recorded on film?”– and proceeded to give her a right good pasting with their shields and batons once she provided a valid excuse for retaliation by lobbing an empty Meths Breezer can at them.

One local resident, Mr Winnebago Jaffacake, viewing the unscheduled entertainment from his sixth floor council flat, told the Daily Shitraker that the violence started after Ms McSkanger threw an empty drinks can at the riot police line – which was met with a furious response when a score of riot officers pounded her into a bloodied and unconscious mess with shields and put the boot in.

This sequence of events was corroborated by paramedic Bazzer Snitchly who told one press hack from the RentaThug Gazette that the girl was set upon by the front line of the Plod Squad and that was when the crowd surged forward in anger at the blatant display of brutality visited on the defenceless Ms McSkanger – so reminiscent of that at the G20 protests two years ago when TSG psycho’ PC Simon Harwood gratuitously beat news vendor Ian Tomlinson to death for a bit of a laugh.

The actual riot commenced with the pinnacle of bare-faced cheek – for as a group of demonstrators carried McSkanger to safety, one hoodie walked up to a Riot Squad plod and asked if he’d got a light for his Molotov cocktail – which the plod obliged – and then hurled the White Lightning bottle full of siphoned Premium Unleaded at a police van, incinerating it.

The swelling ranks of rioters were joined by members of the Tottenham Tourettes Club who exited the Hooligans Arms pub and threw in their two-penneth of support by giving the Riot Squad a group rendering of “Fuck off, Eat Shit and Die – you fascist scumbags!” – backing by a Trumpet Voluntary on vuvulezas.

As the rioting escalated, unemployed local trouble-makers used Twitter to orchestrate further violence, summoning a legion of like-minded nihilists into the area.
One user calling himself Bob the Knob urged attacks on the police with ‘Just the excuse we need. Frustration wiv our unemployment situation and poverty boils over tonite. Everyone up and roll to Tottenham an’ fuck the plods cos tonite Chaos rules.”

In a clear incitement to looting, Shagbag Sally tweeted: ‘Want to roll Tottenham to loot. I want a free TV. Who wudn’t.’
The chart-topping rapper Chuckabutty tweeted: ‘Dis is all Rupert Murdoch’s fault wiv hackin’ Mark Duggan’s phone. Me an’ de bruvvers goin’ down ter roll Tottenham right now, ter get justice – RIP Mark x.’

Joining in the Twitter and text message frenzy, ‘Genghis ‘Pitbull’ McGlurk and Dreadlocks Danny tweeted: ‘We hear Tottenham’s going coco-bananas right now. Watch us roll wiv a few petrol bombs an’ a wheelie bin full of effin’ black pepper an’ peroxide.’

Doubtless the Plod Squad bosses will be onto GCHQ and their Echelon software recordings of all cellphone calls, texts and tweets placed from that area around Riot Night to identify who was twittering who and letting who know there was a real hot shindig kicking off big time – and to bring a bottle – preferably one filled with petrol and a rag stuck in the top.

And before the pundits start - nope, technology didn’t cause the riot, it just helped the truth-seeking anarchists - and too the scrotes - communicate with each other’s respective camps and organise faster than the old method of man with a forked stick bearing a message.

Although technology might well be blessed for providing the communications medium to successfully orchestrate the coming revolution, as iPads and cellphones - and the Facebook / Twitter ‘social networking websites - can muster up a fair-sized mob of Bolshie bastards faster than the plods can read the Riot Act.

Have you been involved with the Tottenham riots? Are you out to resist the state controlling every aspect of our entire mortal existence – whose negative influences nullifies our spiritual, artistic and cultural senses and achievements and binds us to a lifetime of servitude and bondage – or just taking advantage of the situation to do a spot of pre-Christmas looting?

Send us your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a life-sized set of replica Georgia Guidestones – complete with profane graffiti – plus a working scale model of the Niagara Falls as the perfect water feature for your back garden.

Thoughts for the day: Hmmm, is this actually an appropriate time, considering the state of the UK economy and socio-political discontent twix the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’, for our fatally-flawed Libservative Coalition government to be scheduling the lay-off of several thousand plods?

So, will our aristocracy and political elite - and too their Plod Squads, those protectors of the rich and shameless – eventually realise you can never keep a good mob down, and at the end of the day it’s going to turn out like Groundhog Day – without the happy ending?

We, the proletariat, have long been cognisant of the fact it’s all about guarding the elite’s ‘property’ and what happens when the mobs get out of hand – as so well evidenced in 1789 and again in 1917 when the French Bourbon and Russian Romanov dynastic monarchies were wiped out, never to rule again – nor wield extravagant wealth, privilege nor abuse their hereditary social positions.

It would be comforting to think that these things are all orchestrated. And there can be no doubt that the rich few always do profit from all these crises - but the truth if far less comforting and deeply disturbing. The people at the top haven't got a clue what they are doing and nobody's in charge. This minor example of the collapse of authority and control is simply a matter of incomprehensible chaos manifesting its ugly head.

Tottenham was only a very small sampling of our total population getting pissed off with the plods – the entire government system in fact - and venting their frustrations and ire. Just imagine when the whole gamut of jobless and homeless bankrupt peasants get Bolshie and kick off big time. This is the shape of things to come and the Plod Squads will have no chance.

Yet see here the implications for freedom when humanity uses its numerical superiority to say NO to the Debtocracy system and police state – and ceases to cooperate with its own enslavement - for nothing in this Universe hold more potency than a concept whose time has finally arrived.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother - and his sister - and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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