US Group Out To Legalise ‘Kiddie Fiddling’

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The American Psychiatric Association will gather for a conference in Baltimore today, August 17th - sponsored by the very dodgy B4U-ACT organisation of Westminster, Maryland – a sinister group of pro-paedophile mental health professionals and sympathetic activists – all heavily invested in child sex abuse.

The conference’s syllabus is designed around the neuro-linguistic programming concept of ways in which the lecherous actions of ‘minor-attracted persons’ (raving pederasts) can be re-branded as 'approvable' and hence cease to be criminalised or bear the stigma of a ‘mental disorder'.
Hence society’s stock perceptions of kiddie fiddlers will, according to the moronic dictates of 21st Century political correctness, be reframed to encourage tolerance and empathy – alike the socio-political ends Gay Pride strives to achieve – communal acceptance of their Biblically-condemned abominable perversions.

A press statement issued to The Caber Tossers Gazette by Genghis McScumm, an associate of Slipshod & Fishwick (Solicitors) goes to lengths to belay rumours that members of Scaberdeen’s ruling political elite - the Ferryhill Freemasons Guild and the Grampian Gropers Club - are intending to petition Alex Salmond’s Holyrood Parliament to revise ‘certain sections’ of the ‘Protection of Children and Prevention of Sexual Offences (Scotland) Act 2005’ – specifically to lower the age of consent from 16 to 6 – and thus prevent further scandals involving the sexual abuse of underage disabled and special needs kiddies – by legalising it.

Thought for the day: Really, you couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. Would you trust anyone from the B4U-ACT to babysit your kids – especially when one of their paedo’ founders is named Russell A. Dick?
Hmmm, be like sending your sprogs off to Sunday school at the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites to suffer the ‘affectionate’ attentions of Father McTadger.

So, what’s on the APA’s agenda for 2012 we might well ponder –reclassifying zoophilia as socially acceptable if Fido’s had his rabies shots – or the farmer doesn’t mind as long as the sheep are consensual? Hmmm, doubtless some bent twat has a fetish for tortoises or meerkats – or the Muppet Show’s Miss Piggy.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.