Wickedleaks: US Super Pissed Off

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The White House and Pentagon have jointly issued a stream of vociferous condemnations concerning the release by the Wickedleaks website of thousands of humiliating extracts from US diplomatic and military communications they were hoping to keep buried forever – if not longer.

Among the embarrassing revelations is a report that Saudi Arabia's King Khara ibn Zamel has been urging the US and Israel to launch a pre-emptive attack to destroy Iran's nuclear facilities - and start World War Three in the process so the KSA can 'up the ante' on the price of their oil.

The founder of Wickedleaks, down-under dingbat Julian Blancmange, speaking from his ultra-secret hideaway at 14, Grasser Terraces in Snitchford, just off the M25, opined to one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that the US authorities were afraid of being exposed for the bunch of amateur bunglers and Zionist-controlled homicidal stooges they really are – and become liable for prosecution for war crimes under the statutes of Universal Jurisdiction – as per the Israeli government and military psychopaths currently terrified of setting foot in Europe and being arrested for their blood-thirsty genocidal sins.

True to form, the O’Barmy White House claimed the release of the documents was reckless and exposed their ‘diplomats’ (sic) to possible legal indictments and terrorist vigilante reprisals for their crimes and indiscretions committed against the declared or perceived enemies of Zionism - both domestic and foreign.

One Republican congressman went so far as to label Julian Blancmange as a misguided Trappist do-gooder bent on bringing down the temple of the capitalist idol Mammon and destroying the altar of the Great Satan – and further called for Wickedleaks to be designated a terrorist organisation and targeted by Predator drones and Slackwater XE assassins.

Billy Bob Scumstein, a member of the House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee and career AIPAC stooge, told one journalist from the Warmongers Gazette that this latest release of whistle-blower supplied top secret documents manifests Julian Blancmange’s purposeful intent to expose the hypocrisy and culture of lies and deceits that have comprised US politics and foreign policy since the false flag sinking of the USS Maine in Havana harbour in 1898.

“Hey, if this Aussie bloke starts spoutin’ off about all the false flag op’s and snuff jobs we have to pull to maintain US Zionist military hegemony around the globe then someone’s gonna get careless an’ start yappin’ about who really blew JFK and Bobby an’ Martin Luther Kong away – an’ did the Chappaquiddick thing on Teddy. Fer fuck’s sake, where are the CIA an’ the NSA keepin’ this shit stored – under a computer file labelled Top Secrets for Dummies?”

“Jeysus H Christ, if these leaks aren’t embarrassing enough for us, the Ay-rab leaders are gonna spit the dummy when they find out the Iranians now know their back-stabbin’ Muslim neighbours have been pressin’ for American-Israeli pre-emptive military action against their nuclear facilities.”

In response to Scumstein’s diatribe, the US Department of Defence spokeswoman, Fellattia van Gamm, informed one reporter from the Whistle-Blowers Review that it was currently making its computer systems more secure to prevent future leaks by turning them off at night so the minimum wage wetback office cleaners couldn’t use them and hack secret files under the pretence of checking on an eBay auction of chillied beans or updating their Facebook home page.

The leaked communications of US diplomats posted overseas further contain blunt appraisals of their host governments, and some very candid and disparaging pen portraits of world leaders.

US officials are said to have described Italian Prime Minister Silvio Corruptioni as a feckless crook who prompts one to count their fingers after shaking hands. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putrid is described as an Alpha-Dog in bed with the Georgian mafia and more bent than Quasimodo’s back. President Nicolas Sarkozy of France is said to be a mental and physical midget obsessed with elevator heels, standing on boxes and anal sex with poodles - while German Chancellor Angela Merkel is described as ‘a neo-Nazi menopausal bag of shit tied in the middle’.
Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai is referred to as a total tosser and a ‘jukebox politician’ – put a few coins in and he’ll play any tune you want. Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, the bonkers leader of Libya is rumoured to travel everywhere with a voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurse, Ms Tekem Orloff – a ‘suck and swallow’ graduate of Kiev’s prestigious Rub & Tug Holistic Massage Institute.

In customary fashion to get the last word in and exonerate the US from liability for whatever, the prune-faced Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, denounced Wickedleaks release of the classified diplomatic cables as an attack on the integrity of the leader of the ‘free world’ in revealing secrets that might expose US spies and assassins to reprisals – or even worse – arrest and prosecution under the Universal Jurisdiction statutes for their complicity in mass murders and genocidal war crimes – especially concerning the supply of armaments to the rogue state of Israel – solely intended to maim or slaughter the civilian Palestinian population of the besieged enclave of Gaza.

Alas, the Rodent either moronically misses - or purposely ignores – the point that now the US have dispensed with the founding Father’s regulatory system of a Montenesque set of checks and balances in their government’s administration and foreign policy dealings by allowing the Supreme Court, the entire media structure, and both the Senate and Congress to be dominated by Zionist kikesters, they have become devoid of censure and have since 9/11 2001 engaged on a set of aggressive overseas military misadventures justified and commissioned on the strength of a series of contrived false flag terrorist actions to create fanciful Muslim enemies bent on Jihad against the West (hatred of our democratic freedoms) and to demonise Islam as a religion and culture.

Thus we are forced to resort to the publication of whistle-blowers reports – supplied by snitches and grassers deep inside the US’s corrupt capitalist system – who are still possessed with an iota of moral conscience and empathy for US- Israeli victims – to attempt to regulate and censor these barbaric crimes and misdemeanours.

Do you work for any of the United States military or intelligence agencies? Have you seen anything in top secret documents that breaches the Geneva Convention codes on warfare that you’d like to share with the oppressed peoples of the global community – and that would embarrass the fuck out of the war-mongering bankster-run United States military-industrial government?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a visit from Homeland Insecurity – and an extraordinary rendition vacation in some Third World thug-infested shithole of your choice.

Be advised that persons suffering from CTS (Conspiracy Theory Syndrome) that believe the opportune release of these crucial documents to Wickedleaks is simply a psy-op’ undertaken by Mossad to name and shame the US administrations past and present – and further relieve international political pressure on themselves viz the ‘Palestinian problem’ – will be immediately branded an anti-Semite and a Holohoax denier.

Thought for the day: Fuck the United States of Israel and the kikester’s New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.