Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Turncoat Clegg Stirs Dissent

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Hopefully everyone and their dog savoured the delightful ‘whiplash moment’ last week in the House of Conmans, when a shame-faced and conspicuously incoherent Deputy PM Mick Clogg was performing a less than enthusiastic snake oil sales pitch to flog to the nation the trebling of tuition fees at Slime Minister’s Question Time - despite the fact he had promised on a mixed stack of Holy Books, (Korans, Bibles, Torah’s etc) prior to the election, to implacably oppose such a move as it would constitute an unmitigated political disaster for the innovators.

Mr Clogg is obviously now showing his true political colours – as bent as a nine bob note - same as the rest of the pond scum MPs – and pawned whatever moral franchise he did possess when he signed this Satanic pact to form a coalition – as the ‘junior’ partner – with Scameron’s Tories.
Before the election, he announced to anyone interested enough to listen that there wasn't a half-arsed economist in the world who agreed with the Conservatives madcap scheme to pull the rug out from under the economy with immediate public arena spending cuts.
Yet today here he is shit-canning whatever principles he really had and following the Tory line to the letter – much to the Librarian-Dummercrats – and voting public’s chagrin.

While Clogg is proving himself a man with profound learning difficulties if he considers he will survive the backlash of this week’s pathetic performance - in his home bailiwick of Sheffield Hallam – or in Westminster - we should take good account of the fact that the majority of human behaviour – Clogg’s and Posh Dave Scameron’s included - is motivated by self-interest and not altruism – as both parties individually score a top-end reading of 10+ on the International Political Scumometer.

Obviously they’ve conveniently ignored their announced pre-election social contract manifestos and responsibilities that should form the core of their entire political strategy in what they are supplying to a trusting and vulnerable electorate.
Two months before the general election, the Lib-Dum leader Clogg, confidently composed in the knowledge that he and his party didn’t have a remote cat in Hell’s chance of winning said election, warned there would be riots on the streets if the Conservatives won the day and ousted Labour – then introduced extreme public spending cuts.

Well, shit happens and the Tories won the day – enough of it to get a foot in the door at Downing Street and form a coalition with Clogg’s gang of losers and Fraggle Rock refugee look-alikes.

Thus, no sooner is it public knowledge that the Libservatives are going to screw the student classes with a £9,000 quid per year bill for university fees than Newton’s Third Law of Motion took effect.
The shit hits the fan big-time and a legion of irate students declare Mick ‘Janus the Anus’ Clogg and Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron to be as popular as genital warts or a course of chemotherapy – then hit the London streets with a mass protest demo’ and demolish the Tory’s 400 foot high Millbank Tower HQ building.

In Clogg’s defence, the Lib-Dum spokeswoman Beverly Titwank told reporters “Mick’s under a lot of pressure and his pre-election promises simply won’t hold up now he’s working for the Tories.”
So, the red top gutter press tabloid editorials quibble over what exactly is Clogg’s problem. Always known as a career prevaricator - is it chronic schizophrenia – or anything to do with him being a devout member of the Church of Latter Day Equivocators? Or is this simply a side of Clogg we haven’t seen before? The man who took a course in Positive Thinking at Sheffield’s Institute for Advanced Ambiguity but after 12 months couldn’t make his mind up if it was doing any good or not - so gave it up.

Meanwhile the Met’s Plod Squad face accusations that they didn’t have enough officers fielded when the clashes erupted - due not requesting Riot Squad reinforcements from the Renta-Thug Agency – who managed to maim and kill several activists - plus the odd innocent passer-by during London’s G20 protests in 2009.
And this little diatribe originates with the other guy with severe learning difficulties, Cabbage Patch Dave, off on a trade junket in Beijing, complaining to the Chinese Premier Who Wat Wen of all people (a man that might well derive great pleasure from Britain’s political problems) that the student rioters who demolished the Millbank Towers Tory Party HQ are all scum.

Posh Dave obviously missed the hypocritical irony that in directing his censure on the Met’s Plod Squad by complaining there weren’t enough cops on the streets to prevent the escalation of peaceful protest into an all-out anarchic mayhem – that he is the one responsible for announcing the slashing of the police force’s ranks by some zillion PCSO’s and regular plod dildos in uniform.

Just prior to the hi-fiving student activists ‘pulling’ Millbank Towers and sending it crashing to the ground in a pile of rubble, one student went into total ‘aggie’ mode and hurled an empty fire extinguisher from the roof of the doomed Tory HQ building. Senior police officers claim the missile almost nearly – with added emphasis on the ‘nearly’ - injured two TSA officers who were busy kicking the shit out of a passing news vendor for a bit of a laugh.

Representatives of the Police Federation, typically failing to engage brain prior to opening gob - and totally missing the irony and hypocrisy of their statement - have called for whoever threw the empty metal fire extinguisher to be charged with attempted murder – which is a more positive move than we got against slimy Simon Harwood, the sadistic TSG / CO20 Plod Squad officer on hire from Renta-Thug who attacked for no reason – GBH-style – and murdered an innocent passer-by – news vendor Ian Tomlinson - with malice aforethought at the G20 protest rally in London last year.

To date, eighteen months plus after Tomlinson’s murder, Harwood has never been charged with any crime for his sociopathic act in attacking Ian Tomlinson. According to the bent Crown Prosecution Service this is because three post mortems are in disagreement as to how Tomlinson died – thus the course of justice has been corrupted and perverted yet again.

Here is Tomlinson, walking home quite nonchalantly, when he’s struck from behind and without warning by Harwood – across the legs with a steel Asp-type baton – then shoved savagely to the pavement where he impacted his skull. After being ignored by Harwood’s fellow officers and helped up by sympathetic G20 protesters, Tomlinson staggered off – only to collapse and die mere yards away and within minutes following the attack – and the Director of Public Prosecutions and CPS claim this had no connection to Harwood’s assault on an innocent member of the public? Quote Mr Bumble – ‘The law is an ass!” – and a self-serving corrupt one at that.

One of the Millbank Towers uni’ fees protesters was Manchester-based student activist and leader of ‘Mayhem Now’ - Feryl Beryl McSkank, who informed one reporter from the Nihilists Gazette "Just effin’ wait for it – there’ll be more than the odd poxy fire extinguisher getting’ chucked out of a fuckin’ window or off the roof if these twats carry on the way they are. We were fuckin’ sick an’ tired of Bliar an’ Labour an’ Co – an’ what we got now then, eh? More of the effin’ same.”

“Yep, same as all three major parties bein’ chocker block full of the Friends of Israel Club Zionist stooges an’ toadies – all kowtowing to the Rabbi Scatstein and this bunch of homicidal Jabonskyists runnin’ things in Tel Aviv an’ promising to abolish the Universal Jurisdiction law so Israeli war criminals can visit Britain without fear of arrest. What a crock of bullshit – the law’s there for an effin’ good reason an’ we don’t want a bunch of whingein’ kikesters here on a fund-raisin’ mission at Baron Rothshite’s – beggin’ fer money so they can build a wall around the whole of Palestine. No shit, whoever heard of anyone stealin’ a country then building an effin’ great apartheid wall around it ter keep the rightful owners out?”

“Anyway, Scameron an’ his gang of greasy git Tories are supposed to be investin’ in the nation’s youth – not saddlin’ is all with debt forever. But this is their new religion – the new cradle to the grave social engineering control mechanism – enslavement via debt.”
“Believe me, this entire public spending cuts fiasco – this scorched earth policy - is going to turn into a political Groundhog Day for Scameron an’ Clogg – without the happy endin’.”

So Clogg has shown his true colours, that after the fact, and with 20/20 hindsight, he has found it compelling to do a total 180 degree turn-around and change his mind on the opposition of further education fee raises.
He currently represents Sheffield Hallam, the only seat in South Yorkshire not held by Labour – which has a huge population of financially-strapped students and workers at Sheffield Forgemasters – the struggling company his government has effectively bankrupted by denying them a government loan. Ah well, wrong industry – now if Sheffield Forgemasters were a struggling bank owned by Shylock Scumberg & Co……

Hence one is left to conclude that within the Oxford English Dictionary’s lexicon of 250,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Mr Clogg or his disingenuous and tergiversating condition. However it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of Eng’ Lit’ post-grad’ student anarchists that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Ah well, cometh the time, their days are now marked well and duly numbered. With Mick ‘Janus’ Clogg and his reversal of policy concerning education / Uni’ fees, plus his sidekick Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron and his duplicity over guaranteeing the British voting public a referendum on EUSSR membership if he got into 10 Downing Street.
Be it bi-elections or the next general or perhaps the ultimate 'Guy Fawkes Option' - they’ll experience the voter’s collective wrath, just as New (worn-out) Labour did – for while we might not be able to cure stupid - we can vote it out of office.

Unfortunately none of the British proletariat can see a ‘Parousia’ being divined from the Libservative’s current round of public spending cuts – nor such manifesting as the Tribulation before the Rapture that will see us all ascend to the Tory Paradise. Just ‘Tribulation’ – ad infinatum.

It would be comforting to believe that these things are all orchestrated – and there can be no doubt that the rich few always do profit from all these crises. Yet alas the truth if far less comforting and far more disturbing – for the people at the top haven't got a clue what they’re doing and nobody's in charge – and this economic collapse – this minor ‘recession’ - is a matter of incomprehensible chaos.

Stop press: Rumours that Lib-Dum leader Mick Clogg, who achieved ‘Beacon status’ last year for being an unreliable twat, is now a nominee for this year’s Darwin Awards Prize are so far unsubstantiated.
Named to honour Charles Darwin, the awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by (accidentally) removing themselves from it. The award is generally bestowed posthumously.

Thought for the day: As borough councils across London have opted to close toilet facilities in the city’s parks to comply with budget regulations, is this to be classed as a ‘public’ spending cut – or a ‘pubic’ spending cut?

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Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Libservative coalition and the EUSSR - and the New World Order.

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