Friday, 12 November 2010

Uni’ Fees Hike Backlashes on Tories

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Under pressure from UK-based action groups, Posh Dave Scameron, currently on a trade mission to Beijing, yesterday raised the issue of human rights and wrongs during talks with the Chinese Prime Minister, Who Wat Wen.

Apparently the UK prime minister did not refer directly to jailed dissident and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, Flip Flop Fong or his missing girl friend Ms Sue Doku, but took one of his customary and craven, oblique approaches.

According to media translators, Cabbage Patch Dave asked PM Wat Wen “Perhaps you can tell me how you manage to get away with all these continual human rights abuses – running protesters and activists down with bloody big army battle tanks in the middle of Tiananmen Square – plus jailing all these followers of the banned Falun and the Gongs pop group and nicking their internal organs for transplant surgery. You see, we’ve got mobs of unruly student radicals and activists protesting in London right now over the rise in University fees.”
“Really, these oicks are kicking the shit out of Tory HQ and I just wish I could order the same ‘shoot on sight’ police actions and survive the adverse negative political recoil.”

While Posh Dave was off skulking around Beijing there were violent scenes across London as tens of thousands of people protested against plans to treble tuition fees and cut university funding in England.

Demonstrators stormed the Westminster-based Millbank Tower which houses the Conservative Tory Party headquarters. The building suffered smashed windows and student protesters climbed up on the roof to enable them to piss on the Met’s Plod Squad below – with student leaders stating for the public record that a spot of gratuitous violence and all-out anarchy was necessary to wake the Libservative leaders – Scameron and Clogg – up to the fact that the electorate didn’t just vote out a bunch of Labour knobheads just to have a coalition of bigger pricks take over and make an even worse fuck up of things.

Bazzer McScally, leader of the Peckham-based Yardie Open University, taking a well-earned break from throwing Molotov cocktails and booting police cars, informed hacks from the gutter press that “Yer Lib-Dum leader Mick Clogg made a pre-election promise that he woz against any and all University fees an’ woz gonna abolish the lot. Now the turn-coatin’ twat’s backin’ Scameron’s bid ter raise the fuckin’ fee’s ter £9,000 quid a year.”

“This Illuminati Conservative-Liberal Dummercrat coalition government has done wot they were instructed ter do by their New World Order masters – them wot’s running the effin’ EUSSR over in Brussels. Tie us all up in an inescapable web of debt. Debt with a capital D – the new religion – the new social control mechanism.”
“This shit was designed from the start by the Illuminati Bliar 'New Labour' government, ter trap young people in a spiral of debt from the earliest age so they’ve gotta serve the system fer the rest of their effin’ lives ter pay back their student loans.”
“This is a line in the sand – just like the Poll Tax crap move of that twat Thatcher’s - an’ if yer allow it ter be crossed they’ll just keep turnin’ the screw every time yer turn yer back.”

Meanwhile the Met’s Plod Squad face accusations that they did not have enough officers on duty when the clashes erupted due not requesting Riot Squad reinforcements from the Renta-Thug Agency – who managed to maim and kill several activists - plus the odd innocent passer-by during the G20 protests in 2009.

The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Irwin Bogbrush told the press "It's not acceptable. It's an embarrassment for London and for us - to have to watch the television news as several screaming Tory party stooges were thrown from the roof of Millbank Tower. I am determined to have a thorough investigation into this matter – just like we organised for the David Kelly assisted suicide inquiry and the 7/7 false flag terrorist attacks.”

London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense threw in his two-penneth also, stating for the public record "I am appalled that a small minority of the Libservative coalition government have gone back on their pre-election word and now support this shameful rise in Uni’ fees to £9,000 nicker per year – especially that dodgy Lib-Dum twat Mick Clogg.”

One of the protesters who climbed to the roof in her Spiderman outfit was Manchester student Feryl Beryl McSlagg, who informed Pox News "It shows how angry people are. Hopefully Posh Dave Scameron and his lying sidekick Mick Clogg get the message we’re sending them – that we didn’t vote Labour out to end up with an even bigger bunch of dildos running the country.”
"This is the day a generation of politicians learn that though they might forget their promises, students won't – and we still want our EUSSR referendum vote too – the one Cabbage Patch Dave seems to have conveniently forgotten about.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Freemasons and the EUSSR, and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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