Friday, 19 November 2010

Plod Squad: Justice Scammed & Denied

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Wicked Wiltshire Plod Squad makes the headlines in this week’s Scandalmongers Gazette with yet another case of British justice scammed and denied.

Forget the sadistic likes of bitch-beating Sgt Delboy Stinkie being exonerated for his vicious sins – or news vendor murderer PC Slimy Simon Harwood smiled upon by fate, a corrupt pathologist and an incompetent Crown Prosecution Service.
Just focus on the case of career barbarian Sgt Genghis Thugarotti, a former pit bull strangler attached to Scallydale’s plod squad. This is a classic example of psychopaths and homicidal maniacs being put in uniform and protected by the bent justice system.

Sgt. Thugarotti, of Wiltshire Police, was filmed on the station’s CCTV cameras dragging 60-year old senior citizen Ms Constance Dandelion across the front desk area floor then physically ‘hurling’ her into a cell where she landed teeth first, making a total fuck up of her recent face lift.

Thugarotti was found guilty of causing her actual bodily harm and jailed for six months in September. However the Neanderthal scrote only spent a few days in prison then was released on bail pending an appeal against his conviction at the Loophole Sands Crown Court.

The appeal judge, Mr Justice Bean, (good name for the biased pondscum prat) announced after the one hour hearing he was satisfied that fellow Freemason, Brother Thugarotti, did not intend to throw Ms Dandelion into the cell so hard and that injuries she suffered were obviously her own fault and caused by her being knowledge-deficient in the arts of judo and break dancing.

The police blotter records that Ms Dandelion had been arrested for failing to take a breath test after being observed wandering around a Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket car park with a shopping trolley - but was never charged with any crime or cautioned or prosecuted.

Sgt Thugarotti told the appeal hearing that Ms Dandelion had been abusive to both himself and his colleagues and that Pc Rita Skank had called for help, claiming Mr Dandelion was attempting to escape – a fact not corroborated by CCTV footage. Conversely Thugarotti is then seen on CCTV dragging Ms Dandelion across the station floor and throwing her into the cell head first – where she lay unconscious for several minutes in an ever-expanding pool of blood before staggering to her feet, with injuries to her face and left eye.

Sgt Thugarotti’s barrister Mr Irwin McScumm QC of Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot, had put it to Ms Dandelion, a devout temperance Methodist, at the appeal court that she had been drunk on an intoxicating infusion of Meths Breezers and Migrane Mixers the afternoon she was arrested in the Pestco car park, which made her an unreliable witness.

However Ms Dandelion countered his supposition with “Don’t talk such a bag of crap yer stupid twat. I woz hangin’ on the effin’ trolley coz me sciatica woz givin’ me shit – then these two dildos in uniforms comes along and sez “Ello, ello ello, wot ave we ere then – can’t find yer car, lady? You look too pissed ter be drivin’ anyways.” Next thing these dickheads handcuff me wrists behind me back, arrest me an’ I end up at Scallydale police station – miles from me effin’ house an’ nowhere near me regular bus route.”

“Anyways, this Pc Skank comes along an’ sez “Yer gotta take a breathalyser test or give us a urine sample – so I lost me rag an’ pissed on her feet. That’s when old nasty-bollocks Sergeant Thugarotti sticks one on me an’ drags me across the floor, down the steps an’ slings me inter the cell like a bag of shit an’ makes a fuck of me front dentures.”

Regardless of appeals judge Mr Justice Bean finding for Sgt Thugarotti, the Independent Police Complaints Commission and a host of personal injury lawyers, reinforced by the ranks of a score of human rights and wrongs groups, will be taking the erring Sergeant to task over his conduct and recorded assault on Ms Dandelion – with the first vital question slated to be “Why were the numpty Plod Squad forcing her to take a breathalyser test when she doesn’t drive or own a car?”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the uniformed intimidating bullies in blue we are unfortunate enough to have as a police force – and the crooked Freemasons and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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