Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The US Transportation Security Administration agents (a sinister fascist offshoot of the totalitarian witch-hunting Department of Homeland Insecurity) stand accused of fondling the genitals of women and children as part of their "enhanced pat-down" procedures being rolled out at airport security checkpoints.
Included in the same bag of offences, similar complaints have been filed by gay men and women who were targeted by faggot and butch dyke TSA agents for the same kind of perverted maulings.
Today, Michelle, a buxom lady with a permanent sun tan - and personal connections to the Kenyan guy known only as Mr Hope and Change, currently squatting in the White House Oval Office - has gone public with accusations that a male TSA agent felt up her pigeon’s chest crotch and fondled her ample 38DD boobs at a security checkpoint in Denver – then had a quick grope at her daughters Malia Ann, 10 and Sasha, 7 for good measure also.
Michelle told one reporter from the Perverts Gazette that she's a regular American mom just trying to go from the deviant Denver Airport to Washington DC without being visually raped, sexually molested or three-hole gang-banged by dog wankers in TSA uniforms – stating for the public record that what was done to her and both daughters is consistent with a felony crime of sexual assault.
“This moron gropes my crotch then whispers in my ear “Is that a bomb up there or just your Ben Wah balls?”- and I’m so embarrassed and almost reduced to tears, so I spit the dummy and replied “No, stupid, it’s my Tampax – you want me to pull it out and show you?”
Hence the choice at the airports now boils down to this - you can either go through the X-Ray machine and get mortifyingly irradiated with a hefty dose of gamma rays and end up with tumours the size of apple dumplings - or you can subject yourself to an X-Rated pat-down by the bunch of licenced pederasts and debauchee gropers posing as TSA agents.
The agent responsible for Michelle’s ‘enhanced pat-down’ has now been identified and suspended by TSA Director Jackson Chuckabutty – the retired African-American Army General, nominated by Pres’ O’Barmy personally last March to “Get a few more darkies involved in runnin’ this administration with me as we got a whole shitload of Tel Aviv’s AIPAC kikesters too many infestin' the entire Washington political scene right now."
The offending agent, a certain Jock McTwatt, originally from Aberdeen (the kiddie-fiddling capital of bonny Scotland, where reporting complaints of paedophilia to the police actually constitutes a crime in itself) told reporters “Hey, it was just a bit of fun cos I really get turned on by dark meat. How the fuck was I to know her effin’ husbands the President? Christ, he’s one lucky guy – havin’ that huge ass to cuddle up to at night. Why the hell he bothers foolin’ around in gay bath houses in Chicago with a bunch of Shylock poofters, I’m fucked if I know.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the TSA and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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