Cadder Ruling Exonerates Jock Kiddie Fiddler

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Hector MacTwatt, a pervy paedo’ pensioner and resident of Scotland’s kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen, who stood rightly accused of displaying pornography to 13-year-old Feryl Beryl McSkank, has had the case against him dropped as a result of the politically-idiotic ‘Cadder Ruling’.

The 96-year old MacTwatt had been due to go on trial in connection with allegations of lewd, indecent and lascivious practices against the schoolgirl.
He stood accused of showing Ms. McSkank samples of the 3,000-plus pornographic images stored on his mobile telephone and coercing her to assist in transferring them to his computer - then circulate a lewd selection via e-mail attachments to her friends in an effort to corrupt them.

Further, police discovered banned copies of the cult porno’ movies ‘Jock Cock’ and ‘Tartan Tadgers’ - believed to have been filmed last year during the Edinburgh Military Tattoo – and the underground documentary ‘Men in Skirts: the Gruesome Truth about Kilts – and What Lies Beneath’ – on MacTwatt’s laptop.

However, MacTwatt was formally cleared when the Crown Prosecution Service dropped the case last week in the wake of the landmark Cadder legal ruling.

Last month, the UK Supreme Court ruled in favour of teenager Genghis Cadder, whose shifty legal brief claimed his client’s human rights had been breached due the fact a GBH conviction was based on evidence gathered before he spoke to a legal aid solicitor following his initial arrest. Basically the ‘evidence’ consisted of the facts that he was observed by local Plod Squad officers beating one of the Scaberdeen establishment’s ranking paedo’s to a bloody pulp with a length of lead pipe – then admitted to such in a verbal statement at Scroteborough Police Station.

Following this ‘confession’ and eye witness reports from the arresting Plod Squad officers, he was convicted last year at the Sheriff’s Court of GBH and a breach of the peace.

Cadder, then 19, had attacked Sheriff Quincy Buchanan outside Scaberdeen’s Ferryhill Masonic Temple for Latter Day Catamites in retaliation for sexually molesting Cadder’s 10-year old disabled neice – an offence which had been reported to the Scaberdeen Plod Squad but, as is usual with kiddie fiddling cases in and around Scotland’s ‘Sin City’, this went the way of the Dodo and was ignored.

After being arrested for taking the law into his own hands, Cadder was questioned without a solicitor present and then tried and convicted on the strength of admissions the police maintain he made at the time. His barrister launched an appeal and the case was eventually heard before the bench of the UK Supreme Court - which passed a ruling that the notoriously corruptible Scottish police can no longer be trusted to question suspects without a defence lawyer present – which resulted in the Cadder case being overturned and thrown out on its arse.

Hence by this same Cadder ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ ruling, homicidal maniacs can now get away with murder – and raving pederasts escape ‘Scot-free’ with kiddie fiddling charges - even if caught red-handed in the act and the case is supported by a shedload of material evidence – if they are questioned by the plods – or feel inclined to confess their sins - before legal aid has been provided.

The Hector MacTwatt grooming / kiddie fiddling case was called eight times at the Scaberdeen Sheriff’s Court before Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill mandated that Fiscal Deputy Willie Fuctifino, for the CPS, would have to drop it in light of the Cadder ruling.

Hence the case was not tried, and MacTwatt, who had fled the country for the notorious paedophile and Satanic worship sanctuary of Praia da Luz in Portugal , was formally cleared of the charge which, if he had been convicted, would have seen him slapped with a custodial sentence and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for all eternity - if not longer.

A court whistleblower revealed to hacks from the gutter press: “The Fiscal used the Cadder ruling as an excuse to dismiss the charges against his Freemason mate, Hector MacTwatt.”
“Miss McSkank gave clear evidence of what she had been shown by MacTwatt on his cellphones and laptop on a number of occasions – plus him displaying his ‘one-eyed trouser snake’ – which she claims was a wrinkled male member that resembled a penis – but smaller.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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