Cantor Commits US to ‘Israel First’ Policy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (Republican-Virginia), a man afflicted with severe learning difficulties and not renowned for engaging brain before opening gob – and one who thinks wood still grows on trees - is desperately trying to explain away the promise he made to ultra-kikester Binman Nuttyahoo, the Prime Minister of the belligerent rogue state of Israel, last Wednesday.

Cantor, a former Tic Tac Driedel hustler and career AIPAC stooge, was observed huddled in conspiratorial conclave with Nuttyahoo and the Zionist-of-convenience Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton – who later reaffirmed the established Jewish-American commitment to Israeli’s pro- Palestinian genocide policy and continuing to ignore the illegal Israeli settlement expansion plans to cross the River Jordan to the east and the Lebanese border to the north.

Cantor's office - itself infested with shifty shylocks and other assorted bottom feeding hymie scumbags - put out a most dodgy statement bragging about his pledge to Nuttyahoo.

Ms Zonah Kedeshah, Cantor’s press secretary, told one reporter from the Half Cock Gazette that "Eric has stressed the new Republican majority under his leadership will serve as a check against the Democrat administration and what has been, up until this point, one party rule in Washington. Now it’s all back to a US foreign – and domestic – policy of Israel First – and Last – over all others – including national interest.”

“Eric made it clear that the Republican majority understands the special relationship between Jehovah’s Chosen People and the United States – with the Rothshite crime family yidsters owning all the banks, and that the security of Israel remains reliant upon US arms and donations – so keep them up or else Mossad might send a few hi-fiving art students and removal men back over to blow up some more tall buildings."

The illegal and outlaw State of Israel, who flaunt human rights and ignore international laws and UN sanctions, are the largest recipient of US foreign aid in the world – and definitely more so than Haiti or Iraq or Afghanistan – with the ultra-Zionist kikester lobby in the United States making sure the White House provides Israel with the security assistance to survive – regardless of it ignoring the mores of common empathy and morality concerning the usurped and marginalised Palestinian population – or the Great Apartheid Wall turning the Gaza Strip into the biggest concentration camp on Earth – outdoing anything Hitler’s naughty Nazi’s ever dreamed up.

So that was the pathetic lap-dog Cantor's promise of loyalty (a conflict of political interests tantamount to treason) to the homicidal psychopath Nuttyahoo – which establishes beyond all reasonable doubt he suffers from cognitive impairment where matters of Reality and the Truth are concerned.
That he would ensure the Republicans in the US House of Representatives will serve as a check on any adverse US Middle East policy that might attempt to force the rogue state of Israel to obey the laws of common decency - most notably over murdering Freedom Flotilla peace activists; building illegal settlements in the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem; and the siege of Gaza etc, and return substantial portions of their stolen lands to the rightful owners – the Palestinians.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the 'eternal victim' Israel and the US kikester 'Fifth Column' lobby and the Zionist Jew World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.