Monday, 31 December 2012

UK Sick of EUSSR Fascist Domination

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Former head of the EUSSR Commission, Jacques le Merde, informed one gutter press hack from the Kraut business daily ‘Wankersblatt’ during his 106th birthday celebration on Friday that “These public school Tory snobs running Broken Britain only care for their own interests so they can cut loose from Brussels’ control and seek a drastically revised partnership deal - with them in charge as in the days of their horrid empire when they called the shots around the globe.”

"These British toffs are solely concerned about their economic interests and nothing else. It is all sour grapes as they are not part of the Brussels gravy train and our executive privilege Mercedes culture. There was never a problem when New Labour were in Downing Street and Peter Scandalson was the EUSSR’s Trade Commissioner and in charge of wheeling and dealing.”
“It is only now we have this Posh Dave Scameron character and his Coalition partner from the Librarian-Dummercrats, Mick Clogg – and the Devil in disguise – this UKIP leader Nigel Barrage who is an MEP yet a virulent anti-EUSSR skeptic – and hence the enemy within.”

Le Merde’s remarks coincided with a round robin of similar condemnation from the celebrated Walloonian scarecrow impersonator turned EUSSR President, Herman ‘Catweazle’ van Rumpy – he cursed with a room temperature level IQ and the charismatic personality of a Tower Hamlets slum squat – who warned that London could be the catalyst for the collapse of the entire 27 member state community due their obstinate refusal to sign up to the single euro currency - and now insisting on the repatriation of powers from the kleptocratic jobsworths running Brussels bloated bureaucracy.

Catweazle told media hacks that “Scameron seeks continued British membership in the EUSSR but under a new settlement that will sanction London to adopt a virtual pick and mix selection of Brussels more fascist policies.”

Conversely, UKIP’s Nigel ‘Indestructible’ Barrage opined to the press that van Rumpy’s criticism was more at scent than substance. “Not only are Britain’s common herd sick to the back teeth with Brussels’ domination and zero leeway for negotiations on any point of law or regulation – which amounts to Big Brother with a big stick – but the fact they smell a rat and know this is set to get a damn sight worse when the ultimate aim of the complete totalitarian Federalisation agenda is achieved.”

“Then things are going to get Draconian with a large capital D – as it won’t just be an extension of the current fiscal stranglehold but the establishment of a complete police state grid wherein the nauseous likes of Catweazle van Rumpy and Jose Barossa hold the power of life - and death - over the 27 nation member community’s common herd.”

“The first thing you’re going to see manifested is a total Orwellian panopticon surveillance control system designed to manifest as ‘martial law’ – with a lower case setting initially until they control of all resources – natural and otherwise – then initiate the break up of national identity with this absurd redrawing of the European regions so Newcastle and Geordieland will be part of Norway, Kent part of Holland, and Cornwall part of France – with the Isle of Wight becoming a sovereign state in its own right and the 28th member EUSSR state”

“So regardless of what optimistic crap Austerity Dave Scameron spouts during his House of Conmans verbal diarrhoea sessions, Broken Britain’s pissed off to the Nth degree and the proletariat have had enough of Europe’s bullshit and being ordered around by the fucking Germans and the French – our historical enemies, let me remind you – via their proxy stooges and muppets like van Rumpy – and will refuse to buckle to Brussels’ purported authority when push comes to shove.”

Thought for the day. Well, that’s what it’s all about – the subjugation of the sheeple – the tax-paying masses – the womb to tomb debt slaves – whose sole ‘treadmill turner’ mortal existence is to support a federal bureaucratic system packed to the seams with arse-shining jobsworths - tasked to man an alphabet soup of pointless agencies. Hence bollocks to further integration – or Federalisation - vote UKIP and fuck Brussels and the EUSSR federation - and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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