UK Gov to Copy Dutch Scumbag Hamlets

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Amsterdam is set to create a series of ‘Scumbag Villages’ where nuisance neighbours from Hell and sociopath tenants will be exiled from the city and re-housed in caravans or containers or tents with minimal utility services and under constant panopticon Big Brother police supervision inside barbed wire fenced compounds.

The Dutch capital’s hierarchy has, out of desperation, passed the ‘Pikey & Pariah Act’ and formed a hit squad of local authority officious jobsworths to identify and press gang the worst of Amsterdam society’s offenders for a compulsory six month course in how to get their shit together and behave – with problem families or tenants who refuse to ‘get with the programme’ and improve their delinquent ways facing eviction and homelessness – ostracised from the camaraderie of the common herd and civilisation (sic).

Mayor Fellattia van der Gamm, leader of the populist Left-Right-Centralist Coalition Party recently spit the dummy during a city council meeting and vowed to resort to paramilitary tactics to address a pile of 13,000 complaints of anti-social behaviour sitting on her desk by setting up virtual open prison style punishment camps that have since been dubbed ‘Scumbag Villages’ and ‘Scum Hamlets’ – with the lowlife, persistent troublemaking residents now branded as ’Scumsters’.

Van der Gamm’s scheme in fact echoes a proposal put forward by Geert Wilders, leader of the ultra-right wing pro-ZioNazi ‘Bash-a-Muslim’ Party who stated for the public record last year that the government should “stop fucking the cat” and sociopath Asbo offenders be henceforth forcibly removed from their neighbourhoods and, quote: “Sent to a village for scum – and put all the trash together."

This no messing ‘kick ‘em in the bollocks’ stance by Mayor van der Gamm towards anti-social neighbours might well be seen by do-gooder liberals as being in direct conflict with Amsterdam's famous tolerance for whores flogging their gollies to make a living and the sale and consumption of soft drugs being legal - but most definitely reflects a drastic change in attitude regarding tolerance of anti-social behaviour that borders on harassment and criminality towards their God-fearing Christian neighbours.

The pilot scheme Scumbag Villages have been constructed on similar lines to Israeli’s occupied West Bank and the Gaza Strip coastal enclave concentration camps – with scores of checkpoints and the same 30-foot high Nazi style ultra-racist Great Apartheid Walls built around them – in Amsterdam’s case to keep the social pariahs inside and segregated from polite society carrying on their daily lives in peaceful and harmonious accord on the outside.

The Amsterdam scheme has been applauded by British politicians and local authority officials across the UK as the answer to their anti-social problems – with the Libservative Coalition leader, PM Posh Dave Scameron, opining to press hacks that “Okay, let’s be up-front and honest here – my Big Society scheme and Hug-a-Hoodie idea were pre-fated failures. Bit what the Dutch are doing is spot on to get these trouble-maker oicks out of circulation – especially in places like Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate, where they film that horrid Shameless soap programme.”

“Really, what an Asbo Central dump that place is – with crews of feral teenage chavs and girl gang skangers running around armed with knives and guns, smoking joints and partying on B & Q’s vintage meths or Shite Lightning cider.”
“I believe the postmen shit kittens if they’re assigned to that round and do group risk assessments before they deliver the mail – which apparently consists of final demands and court summonses - and they have armed guards from Serco or G4S to read the gas and electric meters – which is pointless as no fucker or their dog ever pays the bills – and even the window cleaners come in mob-handed and carry sidearms. Plus if anybody pays the rent twice in succession the local Plod Squad send a Swat team round to see where they got the money from.”

“And don’t even mention the TV licence inspectors or social workers – they end up like the debt collector’s – decapitated heads pickled in brine and stuck on telly antennas as a warning to others. It’s no joke, they should have signs posted round the entire sodding estate as per used to be embossed on old sea-faring charts, declaring ‘Danger: Here there be Monsters’.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.