Friday, 14 December 2012

NorKors Threaten US Orbital Hegemony

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In yet another customary repulsive display of Western intimidatory bully boy tactics against anything that challenges their macho global military and technological hegemony, the paranoid US of A has gone into dummy spitting mode over the pariah state of North Korea putting a satellite into orbit.

In what sounds like a pathetic echo of their whingeing about Iran pursuing a peaceful nuclear research programme, the Great Satan’s White House stooges – led by President Barky O’Barmy - branded the NorKor launch from their Sohae Space Centre on Wednesday as a highly provocative act that threatens regional security and peace throughout the length and breadth of the known Universe.

Conversely, Ms Sum Dum Fuk, spokeswoman for Politburo chief, Minister Flip Flop Fong, spoke with press hacks outside Beijing’s Great Hall of the People and explained the Marxist Utopia of China, Pyongyang's closest ally, expressed regret that Great Fat Leader Kim Jong-Un had upset the ‘Western Devils’ with the launch of their satellite but they were simply following textbook Darwinian process by evolving their own space exploration programme and communication satellite systems.

“Hey, what the Yankees complaining about - this is no big problem for anyone really as still plenty of room up there for some extra satellites. It okay for Americans to do what they want but not for Third World developing nations, eh.”
“So this launch is what we call ‘sauce for the goosey-gander’ – and just wait til next year and we launch joint venture manned space probe with NorKors to Moon and Mars – then the Great Satan really shit kittens.”

A US-contrived United Nations resolution apparently bans North Korea from developing long range rocket technology or conducting ballistic missile tests – obviously yet another of the UN’s toothless interdictions that the NorKors – like their rogue Zionist state Israeli counterparts – take no fucking notice of whatsoever and toss the proverbial ‘kiss my ass’ digitus impudicus as they flex their military capability muscles in a typically Oriental sublime gesture of ‘don’t fuck with us’.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Muppet – himself a vindictive South Korean with one hell of an attitude problem rumoured to be caused by a chronic case of festering haemorrhoids – joined the US and Japan in condemning the launch of the NorKor’s ‘Ho-Ho-Ha 3’ rocket in hard-faced defiance of international warnings as a clear violation of the anti-missile resolution and ordered Kim Jong-Un’s name entered into the Very Naughty Book.

North Korea’s KCNA state news agency announced their spy satellite, launched at 09:49 local time (00:49 GMT), had been successfully placed in orbit after following its planned trajectory - with the primary and booster sections of the three stage rocket falling in pre-designated areas – specifically the first stage landing on a Seoul bus station as the rocket then sped over the Sea of Japan, with the second stage hitting a downtown fish market on the outskirts of Tokyo.

Pentagon Observers fear this new generation spy satellite might well have the capabilities of being tasked to assume both geo-stationary and roving orbits and utilising high-resolution scans even through cloud cover and at night.

Thought for the day. Well, that’s given the Yanks – and too their craven Japanese puppets - something to lose sleep over – the NorKor’s have ICBM capability that can put a nuke warhead down anywhere inside the US.
Good, a spot of competition might keep the Great Satan’s little helpers on their toes – and looking back over their shoulder.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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