HSBC: The Criminal’s Bank of Choice

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The good ole US of A government, hardly a shining example of moral rectitude in its own right, has decided to ignore the ironic hypocrisy of the situation and accused HSBC not so much of myopia and turning a blind eye – but actual selective scotoma - to a systematic multi-zillion dollar drug money laundering scam – and as punishment levied a record-busting £1.2 billion quid fine for their sins – with nary a mention of any fucker or their dog copping a custodial sentence.

The Great Satan’s Department of Justice fingered the HSBC for what they term an 'astonishing litany of dysfunction' for permitting hundreds of millions of illicit dollars from Columbia’s Norte del Valle and Mexico’s Sinaloa drug cartels to flow safely – and sanitised - through its branches – along with the political crimes of breaching sanctions against whoever the Zionist-dominated Congress has been forced by AIPAC to label as pariah / terrorist regimes - such as Iran, Syria and the late, great African infrastructure showpiece of Libya – before the US-led NATO ‘humanitarian intervention’ military campaign of 2011 turned ‘order into chaos’ and made a ‘Democratic’ fuck of everything.

Now there’s a thing for HSBC shareholders to consider - Broken Britain's biggest bank, mauled and savaged by US authorities in what canny political critics and Scum-Watch groups have branded a hypocritical display of ‘holier than thou’ corporate Godliness by the US Justice Department – due the Honkers & Shankers facilitating a global money laundering scheme for the benefit of drug cartels, international Islamic terrorists, Somali pirate bands and rogue Third World political regimes.
To wit, a cornucopia of cash flow income cut off in the prime of life – which is bound to have a negative effect on performance bonuses and annual stock dividend payouts.

HSBC’s covert notoriety had such a ringing endorsement from crime syndicates and drug cartels – along with the blackballed regimes of Cuba, Iran, Syria, Libya, Burma and Zimbabwe - that it gained a reputation for client confidentiality and reliability as the preferred money laundering institution one could trust following the 1991 collapse of the dodgy Paki-Arab-owned BCCI (Bank of Crime & Corruption International)

If the truth ever be known – but don’t hold your breath - in the wake of the BCCI’s fall from grace, HSBC is rumoured to have taken over laundering dirty narcotics money for the Clinton’s Mena Mafia murder and drug cartel – with Pres’ Obama’s rug-munching Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, shitting kittens and pulling all stops out this past week to have the Justice Department impose a fiscal penalty settlement on HSBC and delve no further into their crimes and misdemeanours - lest her own and Dodger Bill’s got exposed in the process.

These revelations have put renewed pressure on Conservative Trade Minister Lord Shylock Scumberg to come clean (again, don’t hold your breath for a Tory telling the truth) about his depth of involvement in the ‘oversight’ of the bank’s scandalous practices during his tenure as CEO and Group Chairman of HSBC Holdings from 2003 to 2010.

Scumberg, who departed the bank with a £19 million nicker pension pot, denies any knowledge of the money laundering / sanctions-busting scams and has stated for the public record that, as far as he’s concerned, he has no case to answer – blaming the foul criminal activities on rogue elements in the HSBC’s Mexico and US-based middle management operations – dismissing notions of ‘guilt by association’ attributed to whistle-blowers who leaked details he was on the Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel’s Christmas card list – and even received a personalised festive season tuck hamper from the cartel’s head honcho, Pablo ‘Tony’ Corruptioni.

Sheldon Scattstein, assistant attorney general of the US Department of Justice's Scrotes & Scallies Division, informed a press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette: “One HSBC transaction with the Islamic Republic of Iran in 2003 involved 32,000 ounces of gold bullion that went directly to the Russian government in Moscow as payment for a pick n mix truckload of tactical nuclear warheads designed for battlefield deployment.”

Further damning details revealed by Scattstein claim that Mexican drug gangs used the bank’s Casa de Bolsa SA branch in Guadalajara to deliver sacks of cash so often they had their own keys for the front door and vault to enable them to make ‘stealth drop deposits’ at night.

Oh well, nowt surprising there – the bank was created in the days of the British Empire’s feuding Tai-Pans and the seizing of Honkers as a colony - and to ‘cater for and process’ the immoral earnings of the Opium Wars.
Specifically it was founded by Hong Kong based P & O Lines Superintendent Tommy Sutherland in 1865, a canny Jock hailing from Scotland’s notorious ‘Nonce Central’ kiddie fiddling capital of Aberdeen, who earned the ignominious reputation of being ‘an usurious twat’ and a ‘’tight-fisted tartan-frocked tadger’.

On the lighter side of things, there’s a couple of interesting HSBC ad’s currently kicking around on Smooth Radio and the BBC’s ever-popular primetime Scumbag Hour programme, promoting their global banking expertise.

Quote: “If you’re running a business that harbours global aspirations, then get in touch with HSBC right now and one of our advisers will be there to assist.”
“Whether it’s gold bullion or conflict diamonds from arms sales to some African wannabee dictator or Middle East despot who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘Democracy’ – or simply your common or garden suitcases of high denomination currency bills that get stacked up with drug deals, HSBC – for a small commission - are the problem solvers.”

But hey, let’s be fair about this, they obviously are top dogs at the job, otherwise crooked governments, secret service / intelligence agency black op’s departments, Islamic terrorist groups, organised crime syndicates and drug cartels wouldn’t have been using their services since the BCCI went tits up in a spectacular ‘bankrupt’ (sic – no pun intended) fashion back in 1991.

Thought for the day. Yep, they not only rustled up a fortune out of fractional reserve lending and usury but made criminal enterprise part of their stock-in-trade.
One down (HSBC) – and how many to go? So, who’s next – cos the whole shifty Shylock money-lending bankster caboodle’s guilty of the same crimes?

Hmmm, satire besides, fuck the Zionist-dominated Great Satan and the banksters and their New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.