Monday, 10 December 2012

The Nuisance Gatecrasher Who Fell to Earth

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A legion of questions are being fielded regarding the integrity of the Met Plod Squad (the enforcers of our mongrel blue-blood royalty and political elite - and affiliated 1% rich and shameless social class) to conduct an honest and impartial investigation into the Jim’ll Fuck It / BBC kiddie fiddling scandal involving a sinister cabal of pederast DJs, Tory cabinet ministers and Thatcher-era Irish breakfast cereal tycoons with a bent for Machiavellian scheming.

All the above have been fingered for handing out McAlpen muesli bars to vulnerable prepubescent children at the North Wales-based St Sodom’s Care Home for Latter Day Catamites in exchange for bum sex – and the canny conspiracy theorists suspect the Met’ inquiry might manifest as yet another of our corrupt officialdom’s coverups – and rightly so too when it carries the deeply symbolic Masonic title of Operation ‘Yewtree’.

So if anyone smells a rat regarding the above then consider the following ‘as yet unresolved’ case for a either a whitewash of monumental proportions or a display of professional incompetence that would make Mack Sennett’s Keystone Cops look good – one in which the Coroner refused to issue a verdict of suicide and returned an ‘Open Verdict’, stating at the time but for the police’s inept bungling it should in reality have been one of ‘Unlawful Killing’.

On the 4th December 2006 stage actor Mark Blanco joined a booze, snort and smack party in the upper floor flat of drug pushing associate Paul ‘Rodent’ Roundhill at Scumgate Mansions in Shitechapel, London – also attended by self-confessed ex-rent boy, drug-dealer, blackmailer, burglar, crack addict and socially irresponsible rock star celeb’ Pete Doherty – an occasion that resulted in the 30-year old Blanco getting tossed over the balcony and landing head-first on the pavement below – a fall with fatal injury repercussions for the foul play victim that elicited an open verdict at the Coroner’s inquest following three separate police investigations that failed to determine any crime or motive – other than suicide.

On the night of the scandalous criminal incident the sound of Blanco impacting the pavement was heard by residents in a neighbouring apartment at Scumgate Mansions who informed the Coroner’s court “With the scream and then this great thump it sounded like someone getting reluctantly tossed off the balcony and landing head-first on the footpath.”

Six guests at the party swore on the body of a dead heron and a pick and mix stack of Bibles, Korans and Torahs that Blanco had arrived in a semi-inebriated state and caused annoyance by getting too close to the truth and referring to Doherty as a ‘tight-fisted dog wanker’ for refusing to attend his play at the nearby Fudgers Tavern – or share his drug stash.

Doherty‘s Neanderthal throwback minders, Johnny ‘The Mutant’ Headlock and Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, both seconded from the Renta Thug Security Agency, made police statements that the singer told them “Get rid of this twat” after Roundhill – a former Roland Rat impersonator - had doused Blanco’s hat with lighter fuel then set it on fire by rubbing two girl guides together – and punched him several times when he objected to the minor arson attack.

The two heavies claim to have evicted Blanco, who burst back in on the party a short time later – only to exit via the street side’s front balcony in a highly disputable felo-de-se head-first dive minutes after.

Party attendee Annabel Skanger, informed investigating Plod Squad officers that Roundhill, Headlock, McGnasher and Doherty all went out to the balcony together with Blanco to have a quick snort of Medellin Gold but the latter never returned.

However CCTV footage shows Blanco getting tossed over the balcony and the recording further reveals the craven Doherty and his female companion Candida Slutt-Mingerot – (a lingam and prostate massage therapist at Soho’s notorious Happy Ending rub n tug sauna parlour) – with both Headlock and McGnasher in tow, leaving the apartment in double-quick fashion, and after a fleeting eyeball examination of Blanco’s inert body, doing a runner – and stepping over what they assumed was his corpse as they did so.

Two weeks after the incident Johnny ‘The Mutant’ Headlock and Pitbull McGnasher walked into Bethnal Green police station following a drinking session and in a fit of conscience-driven remorse with people referring to them as ‘low life murderers’, confessed to throwing Mark Blanco off the balcony – but on sobering up retracted their statements and were released without charges being filed by the accommodating morons in blue uniforms.

To wit no fucker or their dog has ever been held accountable for Blanco’s death, with the plods attributing it to an accident - or suicide: a factor categorically ruled out by the coroner.

In post-incident entries on his weblog, perhaps suffering the ‘Bhala Sada’ effects of his various addictions that caused him to long ago lose the plot – Doherty claimed he believed Blanco had dived head first from the balcony to make an artistic statement: “Yeah right, he just went inter self-harmin’ mode like wot them lemmin’s do wiv their ritual seppuku act.”

So how does one go about wringing the truth out of a tosspot like Doherty - the type of person who gives career criminals a bad name – whose compulsive drug and booze abuse to maintain a 24/7 high and block out reality gives the impression he’s like a proverbial tomcat testing the myth he’s blessed with nine lives?
And on the subject of felines, let’s not forget the 2007 photo on the front page of the Daily Shitraker with the shit-for-brains pop star sharing a pipe of crack coke with his pet cat Tiddles – an incident the RSPCA pursued on grounds of causing the hapless moggy to become addicted to hard drugs.

Doherty’s the type of scumbag you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – and like so many before him – yet another disposable celebrity who history won’t treat kindly, and who doesn’t even qualify for a slot in the human classification index of Linnaean taxonomy.

An over-rated guitar-bashing crackhead stricken with severe credibility issues whose talent is surpassed by a couple of pikey buskers on Waterloo underground station. A pity he expends so much effort in maintaining his bad boy image instead of the true portrait of a total dildo with the IQ of a small potted plant - whom death and misery seem to follow around like the Grim Reaper.

Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Doherty or his sub-human condition. However it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of drug rehab’ consultants and probation officers that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Thought for the day. In conclusion, the Met’s Plod Squad and the Crown Prosecution Service maintain there was insufficient evidence to cut through the litany of lies and charge anyone with either murder or manslaughter in relation to Blanco's death. Blanco’s distraught mother Sheila and the Beeb’s Newsnight crew maintain the opposite is true and are intent on pursuing a course of action to see justice finally done.

Hmmm, hopefully Newsnight don’t mention any McAlpine’s in this expose – much the same as they didn’t the last time around yet still coughed up a mega-bucks settlement instead of seeing the old prick in court to prove his case.

Without Prejudice: for Truth, Reason and Justice

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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