Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Lord Scandalson of the Felchers yesterday maintained an air of conspiratorial silence concerning the depth of his controversial personal involvement with disgraced American zillionaire bond and hedge fund mogul Jeffrey Epstein – jailed in 2010 for – amongst a litany of other crimes - soliciting penetrative three hole sex from a minor – then reneged on payment of the statuary minimum hourly rate wage for her services.
Ambushed by gutter press hacks from the Daily Shitraker on Tuesday as he left Whitehall’s exclusive Fudgers Club following an after-dinner speaking engagement delivered to the Gerbil Fanciers Society, New Labour’s former Business Secretary and black arts spin doctor refused to respond to questions as to why convicted kiddie fiddler Epstein’s ‘little black book’ - containing an index of the names and e-addresses of little black boys and girls - also featured ten entries for Randy Scandy and his Brazilian toyboy partner, Reinaldo da Sodomotti.
Even more damning, the online contacts book contained a pick and mix selection of sixteen phone numbers and Cayman Islands bank account deposit details for the UK Royal Family’s Mr Fix-It, Prince Andrew – along with a contact e-addy for his divorced slapper of a missus Fergie, the Duchess of Pork – plus home numbers for politicians including ex-PM Tony Bliar, Lord Michael Vaseline, former Northern Ireland Secretary Shaun Wankward – along with BBC DJ Jimmy Savile and Swiss-Irish breakfast cereal tycoon Lord McAlpen - to name but a mere sampling of the A to Z list of elitist pederasts and bumboys.
Epstein had assembled a veritable network of scumbag contacts encompassing a broad venue of politics, business, royalty and celebrity - and even the pariah ranks of the old Artful Dodger himself, Billy Boy Clinton – and international war criminal Henry Kissinger - for whom he pimped a selection of suck n swallow Jewish schoolgirls from Yonkers-based St Shylock’s School for Latter Day Kikesters who swore on a stack of Torahs not to ‘kiss and tell’.
Copies of Epstein’s little black book (subpoenaed for use in the criminal prosecution case against him which resulted in a mere piss-ant joke of thirteen months jail time - which bore the stench of blackmail and corruption) were apparently leaked to the National Enquirer and Twatler by Department of Justice whistleblowers working for the Ox-Rat snitch and grassers charity.
The contents included a Who’s Who blackmail index plus contact details not only for his high-flying social circle but also drug dealers and a global network of sex slave traffickers – and the Brussels-based Renta-Satanist agency who offer black mass services and ritual blood sacrifices to Devil-worshipping wannabe’s who can afford the luxury of having little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girlies kidnapped to order in Portugal and smuggled to Belgium where they’re auctioned off on an eBay internet style paedo website to become this month’s full moon star virgin sacrifice.
Twatler hacks recently tracked down a group of teenage masseuses allegedly recruited as a sex slaves for Epstein’s inner circle of social pondscum. Bev Titwank, a heroin-dependent fifteen year old mother of three, paedo-pimped by Epstein when she was 12, was joined by fellow Balkans-born Fellattia Godermiche and Chlamydia Mingerot – all of whom are now gainfully employed in one of Atlantic City’s Happy Ending rub n tug massage parlours - agreed to discuss their past Christmas festive season sexual tableaux experiences while servicing Epstein and his guests at the financier’s Porkbarrel Towers penthouse suite, overlooking Manhattan’s Central Park.
Bev and Fellattia both agreed “Yeah, that Prince Andy guy woz there, guzzlin’ Fraser Island oysters an’ quaffin’ flutes of Chateau de Rothshite champers an’ poppin’ little blue 100 mg Viagra pills in between snorts of Medellin snow while some Harlem crack whore skanger sucked him dry.”
“Then this other sleazy cunt arrives – a right creep who Andy refers to as Vermin in Ermine – that’s the one Epstein calls Randy Scandy – an’ Chlamydia’s gonna give him a blow job but all he wants is a prostate massage wiv a cucumber an’ then got real weird an’ wanted her to shove her pet hamster up his jacksy.”
“So Chammy tells him to get fucked, then this Scandy fruitcake calls up his Brazilian boyfriend an’ they take off in Epstein’s limo’ for the kinky sex scene at Brooklyn’s notorious Iron Hoof Abattoir Club and came back three hours later smellin’ of KY Jelly and wet sheep.”
Hmmm, little wonder Scandy’s not his customary loose-lipped gobshite self and keeping schtum around the press hacks.
Thought for the day. So, viz the Epstein case - who’s next to be the victim of a tragic accident / assisted suicide – with their dismembered body found propped against a tree in the David Kelly Memorial Woods – or hanging from a branch in Grassy Knoll Park?
About time to do like the Balkan gals and pull a Gennifer Flowers ‘go public’ defence strategy before sudden death syndrome sets in.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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