NHS Trust Starves Patients to Death

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In another of his customary displays of not knowing what the fuck is going on outside the moronic confines of his own bat-eared skull, the Royal Plant Whisperer, aka Dobby, Prince of Wales, has (without a thought for where the money’s coming from) called for the reorganisation of Broken Britain’s equally ‘broken’ National Ill-Health Service - to create a Hippocratic Arcadia - one fired with a philosophy of compassion that encompasses the principles of holistic healing and the core human elements of mind, body and spirit - that will generate a curative empathy and empower patients to find their own path back to the circle of wellbeing.

Obviously unaware of Prince Chazzer’s wholly unqualified personal Utopian views on how to run a health service, the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence, a Redditch-based NHS Trust hospital, has been pressured into writing to thirty-eight families to admit shortcomings and say ‘Whoops, sorry’ following a massive legal action which exposed a year’s-old culture of bad practices - ranging from nurses taunting patients with sharp sticks to waving bedpans full of crap under their noses and leaving MRSA-infected corpses under beds or rotting away in utility cupboards.

In one of the worst cases of abuse a patient actually had ‘Starvation’ recorded as the cause of death after being subjected to three months of the National Ill-Health Service’s lack of care and his meal tray being purposely left out of reach by a cadre of spiteful nurses who ran a book on what he’d die from first – hunger or dehydration.

To add to the chaos the moronic autopsy team at the Freddy Patel Institute for Post Mortem Guessology then submitted a contradictory report to the Coroner’s office stating that the hapless patient’s death was actually due a chronic case of the dreaded ‘Tomlinson’s Syndrome’ – an affliction common in alcoholic news vendors who’ve been beaten to death by one of the homicidal maniacs assigned to the Met’s Territorial Support Group.

The Tory’s smarmy twat of a Health Secretary, Jeremy ‘BSkyB’ Hunt, (skill sets: influence peddling and corruption) doing his public school best to disguise the trademark shit-eating grin with a ‘not amused’ frown, informed a press hack from the Abattoir Gazette that he was appalled and disgusted by the level of mistreatment that vulnerable patients had been subjected to – specifically in a hospital care unit where they’d gone for medical treatment and eventually left sicker than when they arrived – with the lucky ones going home while still breathing - and the more unfortunate leaving feet first, bound for the graveyard.

Dr Candida Mingerot, director of the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence, issued a statement claiming "Whilst the Trust has accepted there have been shortcomings and certain aspects of the care afforded to some patients might well have fallen below the standard they could possibly have expected in other hospitals staffed by qualified doctors and nurses who really give a fuck - all of the cases cited are donkeys years old, and we have no documented record of any of the patients ever complaining about the quality of their care or treatment - even when they were put on our Liverpool Care Pathway euthanasia regimen.”

Conversely, Ms Sue Fleecem, QC, a legal beagle with Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot who represented the families, informed reporters from the MSM that “Obviously something was totally fucked up with the Hippocratic Oath dynamic and the NHS Trust’s failures in the duty of care and meeting essential standards when we reflect on the litany of systematic mistreatment listed in the Care and Quality Commission’s report – but what else can one expect when half the nursing staff were ex-military medics previously assigned to Iraq’s Abu Ghraib Prison’s welfare department and not a single one of the Pikey migrant doctors spoke English.”

Bev McSkanger, whose 96-year old mother also starved to death at Redditch’s Harold Shipman Centre in 2010, had this to say to press hacks. “The week before me Mum died she got a bit of a bad chest – probably due the three packs of Marlboro she smoked a day – an’ every time she coughed yer could hear her effin’ ribs rattlin’ – that’s how thin she’d got wiv the tucker they served up there.”

“So wot’s the deal wiv NHS meals now, we wants ter know – the slop they dish up is like pigswill anyways – an’ now wiv this cost-effective approach Liverpool Care Pathway scam these cunts are even holdin’ back drinks an’ meals so the patients kick the bucket faster an’ loose up beds an’ cut down on food costs.”
“It’s all a crock of shit as far as we’re concerned cos the prisoners got better fed by the nasty Nazis in Auschwitz.”

Thought for the day. Here again we see an instance where fuck all is done in the way of censure – with letters of apology and a total of £410,000 quid to be divvied up 38 ways viewed as a suitable compensation compromise for gross malpractice and negligence. How about some fucker and their dog dragged before the beak and slapped with a 20 year custodial sentence – hard labour on the good old Dickensian prison diet of bread and water?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.