Wickedleaks: US Super Pissed Off

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The White House and Pentagon have jointly issued a stream of vociferous condemnations concerning the release by the Wickedleaks website of thousands of humiliating extracts from US diplomatic and military communications they were hoping to keep buried forever – if not longer.

Among the embarrassing revelations is a report that Saudi Arabia's King Khara ibn Zamel has been urging the US and Israel to launch a pre-emptive attack to destroy Iran's nuclear facilities - and start World War Three in the process so the KSA can 'up the ante' on the price of their oil.

The founder of Wickedleaks, down-under dingbat Julian Blancmange, speaking from his ultra-secret hideaway at 14, Grasser Terraces in Snitchford, just off the M25, opined to one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that the US authorities were afraid of being exposed for the bunch of amateur bunglers and Zionist-controlled homicidal stooges they really are – and become liable for prosecution for war crimes under the statutes of Universal Jurisdiction – as per the Israeli government and military psychopaths currently terrified of setting foot in Europe and being arrested for their blood-thirsty genocidal sins.

True to form, the O’Barmy White House claimed the release of the documents was reckless and exposed their ‘diplomats’ (sic) to possible legal indictments and terrorist vigilante reprisals for their crimes and indiscretions committed against the declared or perceived enemies of Zionism - both domestic and foreign.

One Republican congressman went so far as to label Julian Blancmange as a misguided Trappist do-gooder bent on bringing down the temple of the capitalist idol Mammon and destroying the altar of the Great Satan – and further called for Wickedleaks to be designated a terrorist organisation and targeted by Predator drones and Slackwater XE assassins.

Billy Bob Scumstein, a member of the House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee and career AIPAC stooge, told one journalist from the Warmongers Gazette that this latest release of whistle-blower supplied top secret documents manifests Julian Blancmange’s purposeful intent to expose the hypocrisy and culture of lies and deceits that have comprised US politics and foreign policy since the false flag sinking of the USS Maine in Havana harbour in 1898.

“Hey, if this Aussie bloke starts spoutin’ off about all the false flag op’s and snuff jobs we have to pull to maintain US Zionist military hegemony around the globe then someone’s gonna get careless an’ start yappin’ about who really blew JFK and Bobby an’ Martin Luther Kong away – an’ did the Chappaquiddick thing on Teddy. Fer fuck’s sake, where are the CIA an’ the NSA keepin’ this shit stored – under a computer file labelled Top Secrets for Dummies?”

“Jeysus H Christ, if these leaks aren’t embarrassing enough for us, the Ay-rab leaders are gonna spit the dummy when they find out the Iranians now know their back-stabbin’ Muslim neighbours have been pressin’ for American-Israeli pre-emptive military action against their nuclear facilities.”

In response to Scumstein’s diatribe, the US Department of Defence spokeswoman, Fellattia van Gamm, informed one reporter from the Whistle-Blowers Review that it was currently making its computer systems more secure to prevent future leaks by turning them off at night so the minimum wage wetback office cleaners couldn’t use them and hack secret files under the pretence of checking on an eBay auction of chillied beans or updating their Facebook home page.

The leaked communications of US diplomats posted overseas further contain blunt appraisals of their host governments, and some very candid and disparaging pen portraits of world leaders.

US officials are said to have described Italian Prime Minister Silvio Corruptioni as a feckless crook who prompts one to count their fingers after shaking hands. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putrid is described as an Alpha-Dog in bed with the Georgian mafia and more bent than Quasimodo’s back. President Nicolas Sarkozy of France is said to be a mental and physical midget obsessed with elevator heels, standing on boxes and anal sex with poodles - while German Chancellor Angela Merkel is described as ‘a neo-Nazi menopausal bag of shit tied in the middle’.
Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai is referred to as a total tosser and a ‘jukebox politician’ – put a few coins in and he’ll play any tune you want. Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, the bonkers leader of Libya is rumoured to travel everywhere with a voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurse, Ms Tekem Orloff – a ‘suck and swallow’ graduate of Kiev’s prestigious Rub & Tug Holistic Massage Institute.

In customary fashion to get the last word in and exonerate the US from liability for whatever, the prune-faced Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, denounced Wickedleaks release of the classified diplomatic cables as an attack on the integrity of the leader of the ‘free world’ in revealing secrets that might expose US spies and assassins to reprisals – or even worse – arrest and prosecution under the Universal Jurisdiction statutes for their complicity in mass murders and genocidal war crimes – especially concerning the supply of armaments to the rogue state of Israel – solely intended to maim or slaughter the civilian Palestinian population of the besieged enclave of Gaza.

Alas, the Rodent either moronically misses - or purposely ignores – the point that now the US have dispensed with the founding Father’s regulatory system of a Montenesque set of checks and balances in their government’s administration and foreign policy dealings by allowing the Supreme Court, the entire media structure, and both the Senate and Congress to be dominated by Zionist kikesters, they have become devoid of censure and have since 9/11 2001 engaged on a set of aggressive overseas military misadventures justified and commissioned on the strength of a series of contrived false flag terrorist actions to create fanciful Muslim enemies bent on Jihad against the West (hatred of our democratic freedoms) and to demonise Islam as a religion and culture.

Thus we are forced to resort to the publication of whistle-blowers reports – supplied by snitches and grassers deep inside the US’s corrupt capitalist system – who are still possessed with an iota of moral conscience and empathy for US- Israeli victims – to attempt to regulate and censor these barbaric crimes and misdemeanours.

Do you work for any of the United States military or intelligence agencies? Have you seen anything in top secret documents that breaches the Geneva Convention codes on warfare that you’d like to share with the oppressed peoples of the global community – and that would embarrass the fuck out of the war-mongering bankster-run United States military-industrial government?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a visit from Homeland Insecurity – and an extraordinary rendition vacation in some Third World thug-infested shithole of your choice.

Be advised that persons suffering from CTS (Conspiracy Theory Syndrome) that believe the opportune release of these crucial documents to Wickedleaks is simply a psy-op’ undertaken by Mossad to name and shame the US administrations past and present – and further relieve international political pressure on themselves viz the ‘Palestinian problem’ – will be immediately branded an anti-Semite and a Holohoax denier.

Thought for the day: Fuck the United States of Israel and the kikester’s New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Cadder Ruling Exonerates Jock Kiddie Fiddler

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Hector MacTwatt, a pervy paedo’ pensioner and resident of Scotland’s kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen, who stood rightly accused of displaying pornography to 13-year-old Feryl Beryl McSkank, has had the case against him dropped as a result of the politically-idiotic ‘Cadder Ruling’.

The 96-year old MacTwatt had been due to go on trial in connection with allegations of lewd, indecent and lascivious practices against the schoolgirl.
He stood accused of showing Ms. McSkank samples of the 3,000-plus pornographic images stored on his mobile telephone and coercing her to assist in transferring them to his computer - then circulate a lewd selection via e-mail attachments to her friends in an effort to corrupt them.

Further, police discovered banned copies of the cult porno’ movies ‘Jock Cock’ and ‘Tartan Tadgers’ - believed to have been filmed last year during the Edinburgh Military Tattoo – and the underground documentary ‘Men in Skirts: the Gruesome Truth about Kilts – and What Lies Beneath’ – on MacTwatt’s laptop.

However, MacTwatt was formally cleared when the Crown Prosecution Service dropped the case last week in the wake of the landmark Cadder legal ruling.

Last month, the UK Supreme Court ruled in favour of teenager Genghis Cadder, whose shifty legal brief claimed his client’s human rights had been breached due the fact a GBH conviction was based on evidence gathered before he spoke to a legal aid solicitor following his initial arrest. Basically the ‘evidence’ consisted of the facts that he was observed by local Plod Squad officers beating one of the Scaberdeen establishment’s ranking paedo’s to a bloody pulp with a length of lead pipe – then admitted to such in a verbal statement at Scroteborough Police Station.

Following this ‘confession’ and eye witness reports from the arresting Plod Squad officers, he was convicted last year at the Sheriff’s Court of GBH and a breach of the peace.

Cadder, then 19, had attacked Sheriff Quincy Buchanan outside Scaberdeen’s Ferryhill Masonic Temple for Latter Day Catamites in retaliation for sexually molesting Cadder’s 10-year old disabled neice – an offence which had been reported to the Scaberdeen Plod Squad but, as is usual with kiddie fiddling cases in and around Scotland’s ‘Sin City’, this went the way of the Dodo and was ignored.

After being arrested for taking the law into his own hands, Cadder was questioned without a solicitor present and then tried and convicted on the strength of admissions the police maintain he made at the time. His barrister launched an appeal and the case was eventually heard before the bench of the UK Supreme Court - which passed a ruling that the notoriously corruptible Scottish police can no longer be trusted to question suspects without a defence lawyer present – which resulted in the Cadder case being overturned and thrown out on its arse.

Hence by this same Cadder ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ ruling, homicidal maniacs can now get away with murder – and raving pederasts escape ‘Scot-free’ with kiddie fiddling charges - even if caught red-handed in the act and the case is supported by a shedload of material evidence – if they are questioned by the plods – or feel inclined to confess their sins - before legal aid has been provided.

The Hector MacTwatt grooming / kiddie fiddling case was called eight times at the Scaberdeen Sheriff’s Court before Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill mandated that Fiscal Deputy Willie Fuctifino, for the CPS, would have to drop it in light of the Cadder ruling.

Hence the case was not tried, and MacTwatt, who had fled the country for the notorious paedophile and Satanic worship sanctuary of Praia da Luz in Portugal , was formally cleared of the charge which, if he had been convicted, would have seen him slapped with a custodial sentence and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for all eternity - if not longer.

A court whistleblower revealed to hacks from the gutter press: “The Fiscal used the Cadder ruling as an excuse to dismiss the charges against his Freemason mate, Hector MacTwatt.”
“Miss McSkank gave clear evidence of what she had been shown by MacTwatt on his cellphones and laptop on a number of occasions – plus him displaying his ‘one-eyed trouser snake’ – which she claims was a wrinkled male member that resembled a penis – but smaller.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tory Foot in Mouth Syndrome Contagious

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Last week the long-suffering British voters got shut of one geriatric gobshite Tory peer, Lord Young of Gaffe, who was mandated from on high to apologise for informing a wholly unaware public – in a rehash of SuperMac’s 1957 speech – that we’ve never had it so good – obviously getting confused with the fact that ‘he’s never had it so good’.

The 96-year old senile peer, renowned for his unqualified arrogance, was then forced to resign his Tory Party affiliations and commit ritual seppuku by hurling himself, in traditional self-harm lemming mode, from the crenellated battlements of the Tory HQ atop Millbank Tower - into the alligator and piranha-infested moat, three hundred feet below.

Now we have yet another slack-jawed Hooray Henry clot who fails to engage brain before opening gob – specifically the newly-appointed Tory peer, Howard Shite - aka Lord Faux Pas of Dropped Bollock - who was given a Chinese burn by the party whips and strong-armed into making a grovelling apology after telling a reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that Posh Dave Scameron’s draconic cuts to child benefit would put the middle classes off breeding any more sprogs for a generation - but will contrarily incentivise the homeless unemployed and marginalised poor infesting the nation’s sink or swim housing estates to breed like rats and cash in on the opportunity to make a few extra bob.

Shite’s comments sparked public outrage and were immediately disowned by Downing Street, with Cabbage Patch Dave demanding a public apology – especially to the Tory-voting middle classes – and as a further sop - to the Labourite / Communist pauper sectors of Britsh society.

Lord Shite’s moronic remarks on ‘breeding’ have revived memories of a 1974 speech made by the bigoted, racist Tory Minister for Eugenics, Keith Joseph, aka the Mad Monk, in which he warned that ‘our upper class human stock is threatened’ by high birth rates among the uneducated mongrel poor.

Known to friends and political associates alike as a bit of a dim-witted dork, they claim Howard Shite was simply exercising his Democratic right to act and talk alike a complete dildo – and nothing unusual there.
His ‘loose lips sink ships’ handicap cost him the Parliamentary seat as the Tory MP candidate for Scumborough Sands in the 2005 General Election when party leader Michael ‘Vlad’ Howard gave him the ‘bum’s rush’ due his failure to engage brain before opening mouth yet again.

Conversely, Shite was led to understand he had been forgiven for transgressions past by the new Conservative Party hierarchy when he was recently bestowed with a life peerage, to become ‘Vermin in Ermine’ and sit in the Upper House as a Tory ‘Lord’ – and was thus free to strut around alike some pompous capon and impale himself afresh via the medium of his own careless loquacity.

Baron Shite, as he prefers to be addressed, is an individual of ‘independent means’ and hence can afford to breed his mongrel progeny at will. His four daughters, Mingeeter, Fellattia, Skankella, and Chlamydia, all born with a silver spoon, are post-graduates of the prestigious Slapperama Institute for Advanced Sloth in Geneva, and who all gained degrees in Ostentatious Waste and Hedonistic Squandering.

Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 250,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Howard Shite or his pathetic human condition – apart from the fact he doesn’t qualify for a slot in the index of Linnaean taxonomy. However it has been unanimously agreed by a synod of the party faithful at Millbank Tower that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Thought for the day: According to statistics collected by the Institute for Fiscal Studies, they appear to back up what Lord Shite had the cheek to speculate on aloud in the public arena. A quickie ‘eyeball audit’ of the stat’s reveals that Labour’s reforms to family benefits, such as working family and child tax credits, had jointly served to boost the burgeoning birth rate amongst the poorest households by 15 per cent – leading to an extra 45,000 children sponging off public funds since Gordon Broon got behind the desk at Downing Street.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

UK Deep Freeze: Global Warming to Blame

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Sub-zero temperatures and falls of heavy snow have hit Britain, prompting several of Her Majesty’s prisons to close – in accordance with the EU-mandated HSE regulations - and send convicts home as they can’t afford to run the heating systems since Libservative Chancellor Georgie Oddbourne slashed their ‘winter fuel allowance’ budget.

Travel has been disrupted across the full transport spectrum – air, canals, cycle paths, Segway ans mobility scooter lanes, rail and road – due icy conditions - with schools and hospitals shutting up shop until the Spring after several elderly patients in a Scroteborough NHS Trust geriatric ward were found frozen to their colostomy bags.

According to a leaked e-mail from Climategate House at the University of East Anglia, this is the earliest widespread snowfall to paralyze the UK since mammoths migrated south during the last Ice Age - circa 11,000 BCE – with the current cold spell expected to last until May or June next year -and is directly attributable to human industrial activity and bovine flatulence – the main causes of global warming.

Conversely, Professor Jarvis Fuctifino, chief anorak at the UK’s North Atlantic ‘Rockall Weather Station’ (the one beloved of all shipping forecast fetishists) speculated via SSB radio that it was a toss between being as cold as the fringe round a husky’s arsehole – or an Eskimo’s bell-end – both of which, in meteorological parlance, are apparently just slightly warmer than being dead.

Fuctifino was asked if man-made AGW was to blame again – the same as last December – Xmas week - when the Global Warming Summit in Copenhagen got snowed in and Al Bore and all his other carbon credits cap n trade exchange scamsters had to walk hundreds of miles to Germany to find an airport with a heated runway so they could fly home. (Hmmm, did any fucker or their dog catch the irony of that one, we wonder?)

“Take no notice of this anthropogenic global warming propaganda – it’s all a money-spinning racket - we’re only just emerging from the last Ice Age. Alas, CO2 is no longer a chemical - a gas – it is a devastating political weapon charged with mega-buck earning capabilities because of this AGW bankster-driven deception and Al Bore’s film - ‘A Convenient Bag of Lies.”

So, Professor Fuctifino, the burning question of the day is: why so cold and this much snow in mid-November in semi-tropical Britain?

“Well, this is a result of Bore’s global warming swindle and carbon credits cap and trade exchange bullshit. And we are talking relative ‘mountains’ of bullshit here - huge heaps and piles of the stuff dumped at strategic locations world-wide – becoming over-ripe, festering, and emitting so much methane and CO2 that it’s now airborne and has totally clogged the upper twatosphere - blocking out the sun’s rays. This is going to manifest into another ‘Maunder Minimum’- with the length and breadth of Britain becoming Chilblain Alley.”

Stop Press: (Drop the dead donkey).
* The Grand Masters Tournament at St Andrews golf course in Scotland was cancelled today after the players were unable to locate balls due the half meter of snow on the fairways.
* Lost – Coventry area. White tomcat – answers to the name of ‘Snowy’ – please text Wheelie Bin Mary 07938 434 666.
* Police and paramedics were summoned to the Premier League match between Man United and Scallydale Rangers after fans, enraged with overpaid dog wanker Wayne Rooney’s lack of ability to kick a ball straight, duct taped the useless tosser to a corner post and built a snowman around him.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Fuck the carbon footprints, and Anthropogenic Global Warming – and the Carbon Credit Cap n Trade Exchange - and the New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Mohammed bin Mitty Dupes NATO

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Over the last few months, the ultra-secret talks unfolding between a ranking representative of the Taliban Dan Gang, and a cabal of Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai’s officials from the Kabul-based Ministry for Surrender, to end the nine year long conflict, appeared to be showing promise.
Optimistic Western military chiefs believed there was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel – especially so as the inept Afghan bureaucrats were by then flanked and supported by US and NATO negotiators wielding attaché cases stuffed with bundles of tempting high denomination euro and dollar currency bills – ready to buy peace at any price.

This so-called ‘glimmer of light’ was due to the continued presence of a particular insurgent leader at the rebel end of the table: Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, identified by Britain’s MI6 to be a high ranking senior commander in Taliban Dan’s guerilla army and a likely lad to turn as a double agent.
However it turns out that the ‘glimmer of light’ must have been another train coming as Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour was apparently not Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour after all - but a notorious Pashtun ‘Bacha Bazi’ pimp and career con-man - and Bono look-alike - known as Mohammed bin Mitty.

After the shit had hit the fan head-on and then settled somewhat, CIA and Slackwater XE thugs extracted information from rebel stooges - via the tried and tested mediums of water boarding (with fizzy soft drinks / HSE-approved Diet Croak) and extraordinary rendition manicures (without the anaethetic) - that these talks between the US-NATO-backed governing Afghan hierarchy in Kabul and the Taliban representative, Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, were so top secret that even the Taliban had been unaware of them.

In a pulp fiction plot that could have been lifted from a trashy Andy McCrab terrorist novel, US and Afghan officials have been forced to admit to a guffawing media that Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour was an impostor and high-level discussions conducted with the assistance of NATO appear to have achieved sweet fuck all.

"It’s not him – we’ve been severely conned – and MI6 is to blame – along with the Paki’ SIS,” was the opinion of Billy Bob McMoron, a US diplomat in Kabul, intimately involved in the discussions.
The Afghan Minister for Graft & Corruption, Istimna ibn Himar, told reporters “We gave this Taliban impostor lots and lots of money – zillions of bucks, in fact - to broker a peace deal – and now he has jolly well buggered off to Pakistan and we can’t find him."

Other American State Department and NATO officials confirmed Monday they had given up hope that the Afghan was Mullah Mansour, or even a member of the Taliban leadership – or even knew anyone that was remotely related to a member of Taliban Dan’s gang

Whatever the Afghan man’s true identity - and even if he really was Mohammed bin Mitty or just another Paki’ shop-keeper impersonating him too - the talks that unfolded between the warring factions seemed substantive – to anyone with severe learning difficulties.

Apparently Mr bin Mitty laid down several surprisingly moderate conditions for a peace settlement - that they were willing to allow President Hamid Kami-Karzai’s National Kleptocracy Party to carry on misgoverning the country and supplying the global market with opium and heroin. All they wanted in return was for Taliban Dan and other ranking rebel leaders to be permitted to open an international 5-star vacation ‘Honeymoon Paradise’ spa resort at the Tora Bora Caves National Park – to be staffed by hundreds of exotic Thai ladyboys and Filipina ‘virgins’ - and financed with US dollars.

As for himself, Mullah Mansour / Mohammed bin Mitty, accepted a couple of suitcases stuffed with foreign currencies – plus the promise of a Blockbuster Video loyalty card when the Taliban actually signed a peace treaty.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK Child Protection Services Corruption

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s General Social Care Council and their bands of Common Purpose-trained (read brain-washed) Gestapoesque social workers are coming under a barrage of flack from civil rights groups who have labelled them ‘licenced pimps for child sex abusers’.

Concerned GSCC whistleblowers with some semblance of a conscience, have passed information to Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers watchdog charity, that of the 7,340 children seized by social workers last year from supposedly abusive parents or ill-suited home environments – with applications for care orders of all made to courts - only 20 were refused – resulting in a phenomenal 7,320 kids sold off to fostering and eventual adoption.

To seize children, social workers seem able to enlist the unquestioning support of their local Plod Squads, who arrive mob-handed with PCSO’s or Community Enforcement Officers on hire from Renta-Thug, then kick in front doors, taser the objecting parents, then snatch babies from their mothers' convulsing arms – with the powers to arrest and detain said parents in custody for up to 36 hours while their children are conspiratorially kidnapped into foster care.

The parents then have to work around an impossibly frustrating Kafkaesque system of ‘injustice’ rigged against them in every way possible. They find themselves in courts where the normal principles of British justice have been turned arse about face – with corrupt social workers – aka ‘parties of self-interest’ - presenting disingenuous documented evidence to a judge - which the parents are disbarred from seeing nor allowed to cross-examine such.

Further to these travesties of justice, this evidence often originates – or is supported by – medical ‘specialists’ - psychiatrists or paediatricians who earn professional fees of up to £35,000 per shot for their reports - and receive regular batches of ‘consultation’ assignments from the shifty social workers involved.

Unsurprisingly these bizarre practices are geared to serve the interests of a vile and corrupt social care system. To wit, the children themselves are handed over to indifferent foster homes, which receive £400 a week or £20,000 per annum for each child, and where many kids are intensely unhappy and frequently abused and traumatised – physically, sexually and emotionally.

The purpose of all this, funded by hundreds of millions of pounds of public money, is partly to keep the wheels of the vastly profitable fostering industry, run by dozens of agencies, often owned by ex-social workers - who also receive £20,000 a year for each child they kidnap and foster out / place in adoption.

Another purpose of the system is to ensure that as many children as possible are adopted - at a cost of £36,000 per placement - in accordance with Labour Prime Minister Tony Bliar's insane personal commitment a decade ago that the target for adoptions in Britain should rise by 40% - with local councils still receiving millions of pounds a year for meeting daft adoption targets.
Conversely nary a squeak of this disgusting scandal reaches the outside world due the fact the corrupt system is hidden behind an almost impenetrable veil of official secrecy.

Just take one look at Scotland’s ‘Sin City’ kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen, where it’s actually illegal to file charges against the Masonic pederasts who infest the area’s establishment of officialdom – from education through medical through social care workers through the entire policing and injustice system.
Simply Google up the Hollie Greig sexual abuse case and the murder of her uncle to keep him from upturning one very nasty can of wriggling maggots.

As to the General Social Care Council and their social workers – read ‘social pimps’- boasting of their Common Purpose indoctrinated decision-making and leadership attributes. However, it’s more of the ‘power over others’ / control factors that attract them to the job – just like flies to festering shit.

And let’s not be fooled into thinking the Common Purpose Neuro-Linguistic Programming mantra is a recent innovation – it’s been around for Millenniums in various guises – mass population control – from the Vatican’s Inquisition priests of yesteryear, to the totalitarian Nazi Gestapo, the secret political police of Stalin’s Russia and the Maoist People’s Utopia of China - and Pol Pot’s equally repressive regime.
All constitute the very essence of the base storyline of Huxley’s, Kafka’s and Orwell’s dystopian worlds.

Meanwhile, across the water in God’s own country (sic) – the United States of America – they experience parallel problems with the Adoption and Safe Families Act, set in motion by raving sex maniac and kiddie fiddler President Bill Clinton, which offers cash bonuses to the states for every child they adopt out to foster care. In order to receive the adoption incentive bonuses, local child protective services require a steady supply of children.

Like any other commercial enterprise run for profit (in this case corrupt profit) they require a type of marketable merchandise (children) that sells and a steady supply of them too - so the buyers can pick and choose. Some US counties are known to give a $4,000 payment for each child ‘not’ returned to their family but fostered out and eventually adopted.

That's the incentive to crooked Child Protection Service workers - to extract children and block all family members who might qualify for guardianship. Plus the Clinton act also pays bonuses if the child has traits that are in greater demand - such as blond hair and blue eyes. Hmmm, cuddly little Aryan types – a paedophile’s delight.

In 2004, that most rare of creatures – an honest politician, or one with a social conscience at least – specifically Georgia State Senator Nancy Schaefer – declared she had been presented with evidence of systematic corruption within the federal child protective services which handles kids designated as wards of the State. In 2007, Schaefer published her findings which, she later commented, "cost me my Senate seat” – and most definitely cost her life.

During the night of March 26th 2010, due her continuing crusade to censure and re-legislate the entire Child Protection Service system, Schaefer was assassinated execution style with a single shot in the back of the head while she lay asleep in bed. Her husband of 54-years, Bruce, was shot point-blank in the heart – a pair of heinous crimes that the Georgia and national media whores wrote off as a murder-suicide pact. Case closed. Amen.

Senator Schaefer believed the CPS haste in snatching children into care was not only to claim the bonus placement fees but provided a ‘double-earner’ as they were sold off for sexual exploitation (and ritual blood sacrifice) by Masonic and Satanist groups - attributing the conspicuous abundance of child molesters in the foster care organisation to the way the system is constructed – and ultimately concluding the Federal government was running a procurement scam for the international paedophile traffic network.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the General Social Care Council, and Common Purpose, and the Freemasons - and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

US ‘Nam Policies Rekindled for Afghan Snafu

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Copycatting a page from history and the notoriously farcical (and ultimately disastrous) ‘pacification’ effort in South Vietnam, where peasant villages were napalmed and raised to the ground to save them from the Gook Spook communists, President O’Barmy’s troop surge for Operation Everlasting Warfare in Afghanistan has been secretly blowing up thousands of homes and levelling huge portions of the Afghan mountainsides – in the hope of leaving the mythical Al Qaeda - and the Taliban Dan Gang – with nowhere to hide.

Since Mr Hope & Change (the Kenyan-cuckoo Nobel Peace Prize awardee currently squatting in the US White House’s Oval Office) dispatched forty thousand U.S. troops to reinforce the depleted ranks of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and the 18th Body Bag Brigade – the GI forces have surged into southern Afghanistan to secure the endangered opium crops before the Taliban’s mad hatter religious zealots could burn them and make a total fuck up of the CIA’s 2011 black op’s budget source.

General Billy Bob Betrayeus, leader of the US-led illegal army of occupation, while still not speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, did stick his chicken-hawk neck out and confide to one embedded journalist from the Warmongers Gazette “If we can’t beat these guys fair an’ square I intend to turn the whole fuckin’ place into a parking lot an’ we’ll level every fuckin’ thing here and kill every heathen prick old enough to bleed.”
“Hey, WTF – it didn’t work then in Vietnam and it probably ain’t gonna work now either – but when you’re slap bang out of new ideas then any old rehashed shit has just gotta be tried again.”

Conversely, coming in for a staccato round of criticism, Shah Winnebago Chuckabutty, the district governor of Bellend Province, one of the ‘scorched earth’ zones, informed the gutter press "In the Shit al Cesspit district every one of the two hundred homes was flattened by salvoes of missiles – then these running dog NATO barbarians came with big bulldozers and demolished our nice mountains and all the caves. Now we have no slopes to ski down in winter – or caves to hide and shag goats in private.”

Regardless of objections from locals for having their homes destroyed, the Pentagon disingenuously asserts that they received orders from President Hamid Kami-Karzai’s government in Kabul to evict the peasants and demolish their hovels as no-one had paid the rent since NATO invaded in 2001.

The Pentagon’s original murderous rampage and terror campaign of ‘pacification’ began over forty years ago against South Vietnamese villages, in areas that were considered to be less than enthusiastic concerning the presence of the US invaders and thus by that illogical rule were then construed as being sympathetic towards the Viet-Cong resistance forces.

In Vietnam, as per today in Afghanistan, the Yankee bunglers used much of the same kind of statement of position – “We had to destroy them to make them safe" - which never came close to sufficing as an actual explanation as to what it would practically achieve – which turned out to be zilch.

Regardless of General Betrayeus’ counter-insurgency strategy containing a smattering of diplomatic crap such as winning the hearts and minds of the peasants in Afghanistan’s poverty stricken villages, it’s all purely for public consumption and to provide the complicit corporate-owned media with some grist to make the US look good.
Hearts and minds besides, the Pentagon’s policy is clear and one of aggression – “When you’ve got them by the balls then their hearts and minds will follow.”

And that folks is the underlying strategy position of the White House, and the politicians of both parties, that serves as a mask for the Pentagon’s campaign of systematic terror employed to subdue an occupied people – same as Iraq and anywhere else the Zionist military-industrial cabal pond scum get their meddling fingers into.

Do you live in Afghanistan’s Shit al Cesspit district? Has your house been demolished by the infidel US troops? Did your school and teachers get blown away by a MICLIC M58 Mine-Clearing Line Charge – or a pod of HIMARS missiles? Do you think parking fees will drop once the whole country’s flattened? Do you think Pres’ O’Barmy should have his Nobel Peace Prize confiscated for gross hypocrisy?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a family-sized ‘Nomad’s Delight’ camouflage tent.

A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and DGPS location – which will be directly entered into NATO’s Predator drone computerised targeting programme software.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of Afghan villages were accidentally demolished.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the US and NATO and their illegal occupation of Afghanistan - and their New World Order.

Israeli Psycho’s in Denial: Wot Gaza Crisis?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Israel’s ruling Ashkenazi kikester cabal, going into their customary ‘victims’ histrionics drama role, have expressed outrage this week following complaints from the European Union Foreign Minister, Baroness Catherine Ashton, that they had failed to live up to their commitments to ease the blockade on the besieged Gaza Strip (currently enclosed by a thirty foot high Great Apartheid Wall) in the wake of the May attack on a ‘Freedom Flotilla’ of foreign aid vessels which killed, maimed or wounded every fucker old enough to bleed.

After a protracted bout of whingeing and dummy-spitting, and declaring Minister Ashton to be an anti-Semite and a goyim Holohoax denier, Knesset spokeswoman Kedeshah O’chel Batachat grudgingly announced that they were still debating how to ease the blockade and continue to deny the Palestinian population access to anything of any fucking use or value – including bog rolls, chocolate and cardamom.

Despite the typically disingenuous pledge, which successfully calmed criticism of the blockade for a couple of weeks - until the IDF’s psychopathic hi-fiving thugs attacked the next foreign aid vessel, Israel kept the sanctions system in place, and has further prevented UNICEF from building schools in the Gaza Strip - or supplying any construction materials that might be used to build bomb shelters to protect the Palestinians from the never-ending homicidal Israeli missile attacks.

Israeli Minister for Propaganda Ja’akoff Scatstein slammed Baroness Ashton’s scathing rebuke and complaints, stating for the public record that Israel has done all they intend to do – and further declared that “there is no humanitarian crisis in Gaza”.
Hmmm, much the same as Hitler’s Nazis claimed about their ‘occupied territories’ and walled-in Polish ghettos during World War Two – and specifically the concentration camp at Auschwitz – that there was “no humanitarian crisis – all’s just honky-dorky – the Jews are having a great time”.

Meanwhile, back amongst the harsh terrain of Reality Land, Gaza bleeds - with the life blood of the enclave’s besieged population haemorrhaging away with each new military onslaught or sanction imposed in this game of the slow-snuff genocide of an entire race.

The populations of the occupied territories - the West Bank and Jerusalem and Gaza - the true Semite title holders to the deeds of Palestine – continue to suffer the daily indignities, restrictions and barbaric privations imposed by the Khazar Zionist usurper’s jackboot weighing on their emaciated necks.

So, no humanitarian crisis in Gaza, eh. Well, the outlaw state of Israel is most definitely suffering from blinkered vision and a conscience and empathy ‘crisis’ in their numpty Knesset.
With their Great Apartheid Wall besieging 1,400,000 million people, they’ve created the biggest concentration camp on Earth that beats anything the Nazis ever built - hands down.

The blockaded enclave of Gaza, denied imports – or the right to export – maintained as a fish-in-the-barrel shooting gallery for the IDF’s 21st Mosque Demolition Regiment psycho’s when the get the hots for yet another festive season ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ 22-day duration attack - as per the homicidal forays of Christmas past.

Gaza - maintained as a transplant organ donor farm for the Israeli’s illegal black market trade. Gaza – a concentration camp policed by war criminals with short memories regarding their purported Holohoax myth - and the retributions doled out at Nuremberg.

Ah Kismet, cometh the time, then cometh the man – and all will turn full circle.

Thought for the day: Does anyone ever question the fact that the Israeli / Zionist Jew's stock accusation that anyone who questions the rogue state’s belligerent war-mongering actions against their geo-political neighbours is an ‘anti-Semite’ – and thus constitutes a gross racial representation?

Firstly, Jews are not a racial type – Semites are. Hooked noses, heavy brows, black hair, and possessed with the ability to grow a beard in a couple of days – womenfolk included. Most Arabs are Semites. The Palestinians are Semites. Jews who can trace their ancestor’s genetic roots to Palestine are Semites.

Conversely, the Khazar ‘Jews-of-convenience’ who originated in southern Russia and migrated into Europe and morphed into the Ashkenazi scum they are today – are non-Semites. Forget all the Hasidic and Haredi disguises – big black hats, Darth Vader overcoats, wispy beards and long black greasy kiss curls – they’re Jewish impostors.

Israeli Prime Minister Binman Nuttyahoo stands as a perfect example of a non-Semite – just like his brother Yoni, who got snuffed during the kikester’s Operation Entebbe pirate raid into Uganda in 1976. Both sons of the Polish pro-Jabotinskyist, Benzion Nuttyahoo, whose real name was actually Mileikowsky. Yet another kikester impostor and an Israeli Jew of convenience.

Same again with the Knesset’s ex-Foreign Secretary and wanted war criminal Tipzi 'Zippy' Livid who is currently canvassing the UK’s PM, Posh Dave Scameron – a career ‘Friends of Israel’ apologist – to trash the Universal Jurisdiction laws so she can go shopping in London and avoid arrest for her homicidal sins.

However, this might well prove a dodgy political move for Cabbage Patch Dave and his Tory twats - and one they'll be blocked from implementing as 102 House of Conmans MP’s yesterday signed an Early Day Motion opposing any and all legislation that restricts the powers given to the British courts. The motion stated “Universal Jurisdiction over human rights and wrongs abuses is essential as part of the cause of bringing to justice those who commit crimes against humanity”. Amen

Little Miss Livid is the daughter of Polish immigrant Eitan Livid and Sarah Rosenscum, both prominent members of the Irgun terrorist organisation, whose Polack genes have stricken her spank-eyed bonce with a prognathous jaw and a set of gnashers suitable for eating apples through a concentration camp’s chicken wire fence. Yet another non-Semitic Ashkenazi.

Same genealogy goes for most of the Knesset’s ruling cabal and military commanders. Khazars and Ashkenazi impostors to a man. There’s more Semite blood pumping through the veins of Aryan-Nordic beauty Britney Spears than these usurping Shylock ringers.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

One closing thought: Fuck the non-Semitic Rothshite crime family and the rest of the kikester Zionists - and their New World Order. No wonder Israel and Jews world-wide are regarded as international pariahs with the likes of the ultra-Zionist Jabotinskyist pond scum in the Knesset, and running AIPAC in the US, are fronting as the official voice of global Judaism.

Go Israel: Book your next vacation in Israel and feel safe – the only country in the Greater Mid-East zone with a wall around it. Ideal for non-Muslim tourists.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Koreans Play ‘Mexican Standoff’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The US-puppet government of South Korea, under orders to spark a military confrontation with its hard-line Communist bastion neighbours north of the Sampalseon (38th parallel), have been busy provoking the ailing President Kim Ding Dong and his Pyongyang regime by engaging in artillery practice and targeting the Nor-Kor’s Pingpong Islands group in the Yellow Sea.

In what initially transpired into a juvenile “mine’s bigger than yours” pissing contest, with one side blaming the other for firing the first shots, the South Korean Prime Minister Pak Lunch, has today publicly admitted that it was their own trigger-happy military that caused the early morning clash with the North.

However, Pak Lunch disingenuously claimed it was part of a military drill and denied any act of aggression was directed at the North.
While Seoul primarily blamed Pyongyang for what it called an unprovoked shelling of their islands in the Pingpong Archipelago, the Nor-Kor military claimed the South had violated its maritime border during the military drills – with dozens of artillery rounds purposely directed at Sudoku Island – which bombarded the ripening kimchi crops and disrupted the seasonal ginseng harvest.

In retaliation the Nor-Kor military loosed off an exchange barrage of artillery fire, consisting of some 200 DIME shells, which resulted in the levelling of the naval installations on Dum Fuk Island and killing every twat old enough to bleed.

While the AIPAC-controlled US government might well be dying to initiate World War Three with some conjured false flag attack or the other, don’t these war-mongering clowns realise it’s the arse-end of November and brass monkey winter weather around the Korean Peninsula’s demarcation zone? For fuck’s sake, why don’t the numpty Zionist chicken hawks kick start their next Festive Season war of aggression against Iran? At least it’s a bit warmer down around the Persian Gulf area.

Do you live in the area? Has your island been hit by Nor-Kor artillery shells? Was your kimchi crop affected by depleted uranium shrapnel?

Thought for the day: Who do you think fired first? Does it really matter? Both sides cry ‘Wolf’ and get international attention – and Seoul grabs another bunch of military aid. Who’s responsible? – easy-peasy, just follow the money trail and who controls the war debt.

Quote Ja’akoff Amschel Rothshite,(1744-1812) the Frankfurt am Main kikester patriarch of the Rothshite crime family syndicate: “Whoever controls the debt controls the world.”

Oh, and by the way, fuck the US warmongers and their Zionist New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rothshite’s Inter-Alpha Bank Bail-Out Scam

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Calls are coming from on high, and the entire length and breadth of the Emerald Isle, for the slack-jawed Irish leader Brian ‘Biffo’ Cowen - who started life as a County Offal turnip polisher - to admit he’s a dog wanking tosspot and not fit to run a pikey car boot stall, never mind the once-proud sovereign nation of Eire - the country that invented Guinness and supplied navvies to the world – plus the red-neck foundations of the Boston and New York police forces.

Further, critics are clamouring that Taoiseach Cowen and his ‘not-fit-for-purpose’ Fianna Failure government personally accept responsibility for the economic disaster that’s seized the country by the short and curlies – and now requires a 90 zillion Euro bail-out by the EUSSR and IMF (added to the 50 zillion already spend last year) – which is designed to solely benefit none other than Baron Rothshite’s Inter-Alpha Bank financial speculators and gamblers group – with the underlying message from the Euro sceptics being “Bollocks to IMF and EU debt - let the fucking banksters fail and go under – then the vultures can pick and gnaw over their festering remains.”

Cowen, a hung-over piss-artist political puppet renowned for his inability to think straight, has now engaged in a round of ritual arse-kissing with opposition leaders in what is seen as a bid to win support for delaying an election until his new budget is passed next month – and his Shylock bankster masters have by then secured their mega-bucks bail-out.

This current economic crisis in the Irish Republic has been brought on by the casino-like gambling frenzy behaviour of the Rothshite crime family syndicate’s Inter-Alpha Bank Group’s obsession with speculation in financial derivative debt-swaps, sub-prime mortgage crap – and incompetent hedge fund management (who the fuck invests in hedges?) - that critics and financial regulators jointly view as irresponsible bond market speculation – and which should follow the tried and tested principles of Darwinian philosophy and logic - and go to the wall.

Eire, once known as the Celtic Tiger for its phenomenal economic growth – boosted by low corporate tax rates and money laundering - the country experienced a property bubble burst on a Biblical scale due the idiotic system of valuing houses at fifty times more than the pile of bricks and timber they consisted of - leaving the banks with huge liabilities when no fucker or their dog could meet their usurious mortgage repayments – which thus pushed up the cost of borrowing for them and the government to a ‘typical APR’ figure of 100% - per day.

However, for Biffo Cowen - the founder of the County Offal Halitosis Society, who’s known to friends and Parliamentary colleague alike as a ‘fat slob’ and a ‘drunken gobshite’- it’s not so much the country’s economic woes that have his critics and the leftist radicals up in arms but the fact the Irish no-vote to EUSSR membership / Treaty of Lisbon acceptance / ratification was deemed ‘unacceptable’ and a further referendum forced on them and conjured by political legerdemain to produce the required ‘yes’ vote.

Such has resulted in their Euro-zone serfdom and being beholden to Baron Jackoff Rothshite’s Inter-Alpha Bank Group – a cabal of politically-powerful banksters and parties of self-interest who couldn’t give a flying fuck about the fiscal health of the ailing Celtic Tiger as long as they’re getting bailed out for their stupid investment gambits.

The Inter-Alpha Group of Banks was created in 1971 by six of the Black Nobility’s Venetian 'counting houses' spread across the EUSSR in order to provide a platform for the regular exchange of ideas and source suitable areas for exploitation via the tried and proven routes of national debt enslavement.
Since 1971, which saw the idiotic US puppet President Richard Nixon shitcan the Bretton-Woods Agreement financial system of stable and adjustable exchange rates based on gold bullion reserves, the Inter-Alpha Group’s function has developed to provide a platform to expedite the Shylock-style enrichment of members at the executive and senior management levels of usurious banking through salaries and bloated bonuses.

Members of Rothshite’s Inter-Alpha bankster syndicate include the AIB Beggars Group, Ireland; the Banco Greedo Corruptioni, Portugal; Kunttzbank, Frankfurt am Main, Germany; ING Debtors Bank, the Netherlands; Banco Interesta Maximus, Italy;
the KBC Bank of Usury, Belgium; the Nordea Bank of Scamsters, Denmark, Finland and Sweden; the National Insolvency Bank of Greece; The Royal Bank of Scumland Group, UK; The Bank of Leeches & Santanders, Spain; and last but not least, the Société de Penury Générale, France.

Now, a minute’s silence and a whispered prayer for Christopher Story, the 72-year old veteran British writer, publisher and government adviser specialising in intelligence and economic affairs – who worked diligently and with tenacity to expose the rotten and corrupt cabals controlling the Nazi-designed EUSSR – revealing it to be a strategic deception operation - masquerading as a means of institutionalising cooperation between the European states while destroying sovereign autonomy.

Story revealed the usurious global banking systems for the crooked outfits they actually are – with specific focus on the privately-owned US Federal Reserve and the world’s central banks – all under the thumb of the Venetian Black Nobility - with the Rothshite crime family syndicate acting as their bird dog.

Further, he illuminated the fact that the fractional reserve lending system and all financial derivatives are more scent than substance and thus a legalised scam, doomed to failure in the long term – and for his efforts was targeted and murdered on the orders of these kikester bottom feeders – infected with a designer retro-virus from Fort Derrick while on a trip to the US in March, which led to his untimely demise and death in July.

Thought for the day: Do you realise that if you were of a criminal mindset, just like the Rothshites, you could establish a privately-owned Jekyll Island style Federal Reserve central bank in some Third World shithole through kickbacks and bribes – then print your own money and lend it to sovereign states at a rate of usurious interes.
Then, when things get tight, just introduce a programme of ‘quantitative easing’ (printing more money) until the entire system goes tits up in a Busby Berkeley spectacular fashion – just as the Fed’ have done in the US – and central banks around the globe – and have ‘your’ government use taxpayer’s bucks to bail you out at a rate of 100 pence on the £ pound. Now that’s what you call legalised theft.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Baron Rothshite and the kikester IAB Group - and their Jew World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK Muslim School Curriculum Slammed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Investigative reporters assigned to Channel 69’s “Poxy Bigots” programme have discovered that more than forty Saudi-sponsored students' schools and clubs across our once sceptred isle are teaching the official Saudi national education curriculum to an excess of 5,000 Muslim pupils.

The Libservative coalition government, in response to a barrage of complaints from human rights and wrongs civic action groups, has now stated for the public record it will not tolerate anti-Semitic and homophobic lessons being taught to children – Christian, Muslim, Pikey heathen or whatever, in the UK.

Hmmm, anti-Semitic – just like the non-Semite Ashkenazi Jews teach in Israel – anti-Semitism against the Palestinian population and Muslims in particular – and the rest of the world’s Goyim population that don’t have an eternal covenant with jolly old Jehovah.
Conversely, homophobic’s a bit of a shocker though, considering the Saudi’s are renowned as raving fudgers and goat bonkers.

The Tory MP for Curry Heath, the ‘Bean-esque’ Education Secretary Michael Gove, a man of limited intellect who suffers from extreme learning difficulties, told one reporter from the Daily Shitraker that there was no place for the Saudi teachings with regard to Jews or cottaging faggots in Britain – totally missing the point that the Saudis themselves are Semites – and the term is one that has simply been ‘cornered’ and forcefully kidnapped by those ‘eternal victims’ of the goyim world’s pogroms and Holohoaxes – America’s Jews and the Israeli kikesters.

One textbook, an Arabic-language classic and bedtime stories favourite, is titled “An illustrated Guide to Islamic Barbarism” – and contains full colour photos of how the hands and feet of thieves are chopped off – plus how to perform a clitorectomy and infibulate Muslim women – and organise a stag party stoning if they commit adultery.
Another work, “Jihads for Dummies”, was also criticised by Minister Gove, who commented "To my mind it doesn't seem that this is the sort of material that should be used in English schools. Whatever happened to Nip and Fluff - and Trumpton?"

Another of the curriculum’s text books instructs children to list the "reprehensible" qualities of Jewish people: with whingeing, greedy, penny-pinching, usurping, lying, thieving, grasping, belligerent and homicidal being the main adjectives listed in the answers column.

A text for younger children poses the question of what happens when a non-believer - specifically a Christian infidel - in the one true faith (Islam) dies - with the given answer being “They burn in Hell.”

Another text describes the punishment for gay sex (both butt-fucking and rug-munching varieties) as death and states a philosophical difference of opinion about whether it should be carried out by stoning, burning with fire or throwing the person over a cliff like a lemming in self-harm mode. (Well, nice to read it's not all hard-arsed dogma and there are alternatives and choices)

In a written response to the complaints and criticism, a spokesman for the Saudi Embassy in London, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, stated such materials were often taken out of context and referred to historical descriptions – even though these practices are still carried out under the statutes of Sharia Law to the present day.
By this we mean the ‘present day’ here in Europe - we’re into the 21st Century already – 2010 to be exact - but back there in Saudi, the seat of Islam – they’re still stuck in a time warp – the year 1431 to be exact. Hmmm, beam me up, for fuck’s sake Scotty.

Educational curriculum besides, Saudi is a nation of barbarians, governed and ruled by an extended family of hypocritical alcoholics and whore-mongering sodomites.
Whereas Sharia might constitute the statutes of law, the national sport is centred around the ritual abuse of foreign migrant house maids (Sri Lankan, Indonesian or Filipina) - with extra points awarded for torture methods that result in the crippling, mutilation or outright murder of their victims.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Cantor Commits US to ‘Israel First’ Policy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (Republican-Virginia), a man afflicted with severe learning difficulties and not renowned for engaging brain before opening gob – and one who thinks wood still grows on trees - is desperately trying to explain away the promise he made to ultra-kikester Binman Nuttyahoo, the Prime Minister of the belligerent rogue state of Israel, last Wednesday.

Cantor, a former Tic Tac Driedel hustler and career AIPAC stooge, was observed huddled in conspiratorial conclave with Nuttyahoo and the Zionist-of-convenience Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton – who later reaffirmed the established Jewish-American commitment to Israeli’s pro- Palestinian genocide policy and continuing to ignore the illegal Israeli settlement expansion plans to cross the River Jordan to the east and the Lebanese border to the north.

Cantor's office - itself infested with shifty shylocks and other assorted bottom feeding hymie scumbags - put out a most dodgy statement bragging about his pledge to Nuttyahoo.

Ms Zonah Kedeshah, Cantor’s press secretary, told one reporter from the Half Cock Gazette that "Eric has stressed the new Republican majority under his leadership will serve as a check against the Democrat administration and what has been, up until this point, one party rule in Washington. Now it’s all back to a US foreign – and domestic – policy of Israel First – and Last – over all others – including national interest.”

“Eric made it clear that the Republican majority understands the special relationship between Jehovah’s Chosen People and the United States – with the Rothshite crime family yidsters owning all the banks, and that the security of Israel remains reliant upon US arms and donations – so keep them up or else Mossad might send a few hi-fiving art students and removal men back over to blow up some more tall buildings."

The illegal and outlaw State of Israel, who flaunt human rights and ignore international laws and UN sanctions, are the largest recipient of US foreign aid in the world – and definitely more so than Haiti or Iraq or Afghanistan – with the ultra-Zionist kikester lobby in the United States making sure the White House provides Israel with the security assistance to survive – regardless of it ignoring the mores of common empathy and morality concerning the usurped and marginalised Palestinian population – or the Great Apartheid Wall turning the Gaza Strip into the biggest concentration camp on Earth – outdoing anything Hitler’s naughty Nazi’s ever dreamed up.

So that was the pathetic lap-dog Cantor's promise of loyalty (a conflict of political interests tantamount to treason) to the homicidal psychopath Nuttyahoo – which establishes beyond all reasonable doubt he suffers from cognitive impairment where matters of Reality and the Truth are concerned.
That he would ensure the Republicans in the US House of Representatives will serve as a check on any adverse US Middle East policy that might attempt to force the rogue state of Israel to obey the laws of common decency - most notably over murdering Freedom Flotilla peace activists; building illegal settlements in the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem; and the siege of Gaza etc, and return substantial portions of their stolen lands to the rightful owners – the Palestinians.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the 'eternal victim' Israel and the US kikester 'Fifth Column' lobby and the Zionist Jew World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Chinese Smoke Alarms Slammed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Out in the North Atlantic, on the wind-swept sacred islet of Rockall, beloved of shipping weather forecast fetishists world-wide, the Fire and Rescue Service has suffered a panic fit and gone into headless chicken mode after receiving more than 1,300 complaints about smoke alarms fitted during their EUSSR-mandated retirement home safety visits.

The faulty alarms, purportedly designed and manufactured to last for 10 years, are bleeping intermittently after about two weeks and driving geriatric residents to distraction and despair.
As the batteries are sealed, there is no easy way to disable the alarms – apart from hitting them repeatedly with a heavy walking stick or a Zimmer frame.
However the service has now announced it will prioritise refits after several pensioner residents went into self-harming mode and committed ritual seppuku due the smoke alarms beeping away 24/7 and disturbing their weekly Strictly Come Dancing ‘laughter segment’ when Ann Widdecombe impersonates a drunken hippo’ and gets dragged around the floor on her fat arse.

Mr Frank McSlagg, 96, a resident of Periwinkle Point and former chief engineer at the island’s ‘Guano Pit’ fertiliser plant, claims to have had a total of three of the dodgy alarms fitted by fire crews.
"One went off in the middle of the effin’ night an’ I shit me pyjama bottoms cos I thought it were the air raid siren like wot we had in the Blitz when those German bastards used ter bomb us.”
“I would have fixed it meself but I’m not allowed ter stand on chairs anymore since the daily care worker caught me up on one doin’ a bit of voyeur spyin’ through the bathroom window on that big-titted slapper from next door sun-bathin’ stark-bollock-naked in the garden – and she thought I were tryin’ ter hang meself.”

Frank Bogbrush, chief of Rockall’s Fire and Rescue Service, told one reporter from the Snafu Gazette "90% of the fucking things are malfunctioning – an’ we certainly wouldn't be expecting this number to go wrong if they were any fucking good in the first place. Ah well, yer pay next ter nowt fer Third World crap an’ this is what yer get – crap."

“We’ve already replaced 462 of the useless pieces of kit with units just the same an’ we’re gonna be hard-pressed to afford a more reliable type of alarm an’ get them all fitted before someone ignores the thing beeping an’ gets asphyxiated with smoke or barbequed in bed one night.”

”Plus this replacement work is interfering with our regular emergency call-out duties – like when we had a flock of sheep on fire up on Great Auk Tor last week after they got side-swiped by a bolt of lightning. By the time we got there they was well roasted. Luckily one of the lads had a jar of mint sauce with him – so we scraped the burned bits of fleece off and tucked in. Very tasty indeed.”

One Fire and Rescue Service whistle-blower who works undercover for Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grasser watchdog charity, told gutter press hacks that the Chinese-made alarms were bought from the Beijing-based ‘Sweat Shop Shite Corporation’ as part of a national purchasing deal set up by Peter Scandalson, before he was bestowed with the Second Estate title of Vermin in Ermine - and still held the post of Trade Commissioner for the EUSSR in Brussels.

Do you live on a remote islet in the North Atlantic? How are your smoke detectors functioning? Did you buy one from Pound Stretcher or a pikey car boot sale? Do you know anyone who lugs a jar of mint sauce around in their pocket?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Vatican Launder Money for God

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ex-Hitler Youth miscreant Joey Ratflinger, now charged with caretaking the Vatican and elevated to the rank of Pontiff in the name of Pope Benny, the Mk XVI German built-to-last model, fed reporters a deceptive line of hypocritical BS spin this week when stating that the Catholic Church is not a profit-making machine – in a feeble attempt to counter money-laundering charges targeting the Holy See.

“We are no longer a centre of production, we are not an enterprise built for profit. We have outsourced all that kind of thing to Brazil, Mexico and the Philippines. Now we are a church” - was the core of Pope Benny’s wholly disingenuous remarks to a reporter from the El Shitraker national daily news broadsheet. 'We are a community of people who live in the faith – to serve God. The goal is not to create a product or to have success in sales” – wholly overlooking the Jesuit credo of “Show me the boy at 7 years old and I will show you the man.”

Benny further ignored, via the practiced facility of selective memory, the fact that the Vatican was founded as a social engineering cum population mass control and domination mechanism by the Pio family – and over the last 2,000 years run for tax-free gain and dividend through the fear of excommunication and eternal damnation (with the promise of everlasting life if you did as you were told for three score and ten) and for profit via benefices and simony – plus the application of intimidation to secure bequeathments of property (aka ordained land-grabs) – with outright extortion through the offices of the Grand Inquisition.

Much to the Holy See’s chagrin – and minor embarrassment - in September Italy's financial police seized 23 zillion euros from the Vatican Bank during the process of investigating the wholesale violation of money-laundering regulations, with the Vatican strongly denying any wrongdoing – claiming the undeclared cash came from the offertory plates.

Hmmm, what a team of forensic bean counters it would take to be tasked with indexing the Roman Catholic Church’s portfolio of currency accounts, bullion certificates, global investments and assets. The largest single landowners on Earth – and such would make Croesus look like a pauper.

A pity Pope Benny chose to ignore mention of the sore thumb fiscal dealings of the 1980’s, and the heinous scandals involving Archbishop Paul Casimir Marcinkus, the crooked American President of the Vatican Bank, whose dodgy tenure ran from 1971 through 1989.

Marcinkus’ reign involved Roberto Calvi, known as God's banker because of his close ties to the Holy See / Vatican, who was found hanging from Blackfriars Bridge, central London due his intimate knowledge of what linked the Mafia, the P2 Freemasons and the Vatican in an international arms dealing / drug running / money laundering scam.

Alas, while we’d all like to believe Benny’s spin – that the Holy See is nigh on broke – they always seems to be able to find a stash of ready cash to pay off the legions of child sex abuse victims, sodomised by their kiddie fiddling paedo’ priests.

Sorry Benny, we don’t believe you could tell the truth to save your rotten Nazi soul – and as the old adage goes: Jesus saves – but the Vatican invests.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Plod Squad: Justice Scammed & Denied

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Wicked Wiltshire Plod Squad makes the headlines in this week’s Scandalmongers Gazette with yet another case of British justice scammed and denied.

Forget the sadistic likes of bitch-beating Sgt Delboy Stinkie being exonerated for his vicious sins – or news vendor murderer PC Slimy Simon Harwood smiled upon by fate, a corrupt pathologist and an incompetent Crown Prosecution Service.
Just focus on the case of career barbarian Sgt Genghis Thugarotti, a former pit bull strangler attached to Scallydale’s plod squad. This is a classic example of psychopaths and homicidal maniacs being put in uniform and protected by the bent justice system.

Sgt. Thugarotti, of Wiltshire Police, was filmed on the station’s CCTV cameras dragging 60-year old senior citizen Ms Constance Dandelion across the front desk area floor then physically ‘hurling’ her into a cell where she landed teeth first, making a total fuck up of her recent face lift.

Thugarotti was found guilty of causing her actual bodily harm and jailed for six months in September. However the Neanderthal scrote only spent a few days in prison then was released on bail pending an appeal against his conviction at the Loophole Sands Crown Court.

The appeal judge, Mr Justice Bean, (good name for the biased pondscum prat) announced after the one hour hearing he was satisfied that fellow Freemason, Brother Thugarotti, did not intend to throw Ms Dandelion into the cell so hard and that injuries she suffered were obviously her own fault and caused by her being knowledge-deficient in the arts of judo and break dancing.

The police blotter records that Ms Dandelion had been arrested for failing to take a breath test after being observed wandering around a Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket car park with a shopping trolley - but was never charged with any crime or cautioned or prosecuted.

Sgt Thugarotti told the appeal hearing that Ms Dandelion had been abusive to both himself and his colleagues and that Pc Rita Skank had called for help, claiming Mr Dandelion was attempting to escape – a fact not corroborated by CCTV footage. Conversely Thugarotti is then seen on CCTV dragging Ms Dandelion across the station floor and throwing her into the cell head first – where she lay unconscious for several minutes in an ever-expanding pool of blood before staggering to her feet, with injuries to her face and left eye.

Sgt Thugarotti’s barrister Mr Irwin McScumm QC of Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot, had put it to Ms Dandelion, a devout temperance Methodist, at the appeal court that she had been drunk on an intoxicating infusion of Meths Breezers and Migrane Mixers the afternoon she was arrested in the Pestco car park, which made her an unreliable witness.

However Ms Dandelion countered his supposition with “Don’t talk such a bag of crap yer stupid twat. I woz hangin’ on the effin’ trolley coz me sciatica woz givin’ me shit – then these two dildos in uniforms comes along and sez “Ello, ello ello, wot ave we ere then – can’t find yer car, lady? You look too pissed ter be drivin’ anyways.” Next thing these dickheads handcuff me wrists behind me back, arrest me an’ I end up at Scallydale police station – miles from me effin’ house an’ nowhere near me regular bus route.”

“Anyways, this Pc Skank comes along an’ sez “Yer gotta take a breathalyser test or give us a urine sample – so I lost me rag an’ pissed on her feet. That’s when old nasty-bollocks Sergeant Thugarotti sticks one on me an’ drags me across the floor, down the steps an’ slings me inter the cell like a bag of shit an’ makes a fuck of me front dentures.”

Regardless of appeals judge Mr Justice Bean finding for Sgt Thugarotti, the Independent Police Complaints Commission and a host of personal injury lawyers, reinforced by the ranks of a score of human rights and wrongs groups, will be taking the erring Sergeant to task over his conduct and recorded assault on Ms Dandelion – with the first vital question slated to be “Why were the numpty Plod Squad forcing her to take a breathalyser test when she doesn’t drive or own a car?”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the uniformed intimidating bullies in blue we are unfortunate enough to have as a police force – and the crooked Freemasons and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Chew n Spews to Script UK Health Policy

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Covert whistleblowers working for the UK’s Department of Health have leaked a report to Ox-Rat, the international snitch n grassers public services watchdog charity, exposing an idiotic plan formulated by Health Secretary Andrew Lansley TTT (Typical Tory Twat) to recruit fast food companies and pub franchises - including McDonald's, Troublespot Taverns and Kentucky Fried Cormorant - to help write government policy on obesity, alcohol abuse and diet-related diseases.
Lansley, the incumbent Conservative MP for Scatford Sands, and a tosser notorious for failing to engage brain before opening gob, has been lambasted with lashings of criticism for innovating this impossible and biased alliance between parties of self-interest - big business for profit versus public health – with the move metaphorically compared to placing the brewing industry in charge of an alcoholic recovery programme.

Processed food and fizzy drink manufacturers including Pestco, Pukesburys, Mamon & Snobfords and Shiteland - the main Greedy Grocer supermarket chain leaders - are among the businesses that have been asked to contribute to five responsibility deal networks.
Each network will be co-chaired by some academic dildo with more degrees than a thermometer (and as much common sense as a suicide bomber) and tasked to come up with ‘some bright ideas’ in an overhaul of public health policy.

Dr Fellattia Titwank, director of the Sickie-Watch sentinel charity group, told one reporter from the Coffin Dodgers Gazette that “The NHS simply have to get their forward planning people to think outside the box regarding health policy instead of relying on 20/20 hindsight. Mind you, thinking outside the box has so far proved to be a problem with all their staff herded into cramped office cubicles.”

“So, the intent is that as these are the companies responsible for turning the British public into a nation of couch spud and fat slob junk food addicts, all fit to drop, then they should be obliged to come up with suggestions and answers to combat and reverse the side effects of their culinary crap.”

“Let’s be honest and objective here, we don’t have an NSH that promotes good health, just this National Ill-Health Service that treats sickies – all focused on profits for health care trusts and their greedy grasping quacks – plus the hypocritical Big Pharma corporations who want to medicate everyone for any medical condition – and have the audacity to add that toxic poison fluoride to toothpaste and tell the stupid public it’s good for their teeth.”
“It’s the Curse of the 4 C’s - Cronyism, Collusion, Corruption, and Complacency – all run on the DOSRI principle : Directors, Officers, Seniors, Related Interests - offering the public the greatest discomfort and inconvenience at the highest prices.

“Then we have all these social abuse cases focused on binge drinking and alcohol abuse – and all the while Troublespot Taverns open their doors for breakfast. We have Crap Brew Ales selling 12% ABV Tithead Tankard and Bitch Thumper lager. Pit Bull Brewery produces another 12% draught - Dogbite Festive Ale – which actually tastes more like Dogpiss. Seriously, I was in my local Chunder Arms for a gargle on Sunday lunchtime and they’ve got Migrane Mixers on offer for £1 quid a bottle.”

“Hence, this is why we need to get the industries responsible for all these food and drink-related social and health problems set to task - to come up with some solutions. Just look at the sweet tooth bourse – supermarket shelves lined with choccies and candies and gum – then we have the soft drinks side – all the lot loaded up and laced with artificial sweeteners such as the neurotoxin aspartame.”

“Then scrutinise these processed and canned foods and insta-nuke meals – all full of salt and sugar and bad fats and toxic MSG – and colouring and preservatives. Just don’t get me started on the likes of those genetically-modified organisms either – like Monsanto’s Mutant Meals - it's all crap. We had a barbie last summer and some well-meaning dildo brought along a pack of Biffo’s Barf Burgers – and after the patties had been on the hot griddle iron for five minutes and the nasty transgenic fats rendered out, they shrivelled up like an old man’s scrotum.”

The primary solutions to the nation’s dietary ill-health related problems are hoped to be contained in a government white paper due to be published by 2015.
Working alongside the networks will be consumer and public health awareness groups including Pigswill Watch, Tumours Today, and the Monsanto Frankenfoods Faculty for Massive Profits.

Among the chew and spew junk food companies to join the ‘Food Responsibility’ network are the UK's leading supermarkets - and Compass, the catering firm famously embarrassed by Jamie Oliver on his Channel 4 programme ‘Jamie's School Chunder Wonders’ for manufacturing turkey twizzlers – the main ingredient of which was rumoured to be rooster’s foreskins.

The food sub-group on ‘Calorie Consciousness’ is to be chaired by PepsiCo, the U.S. company which owns Walkers Crap Crisps and manufactures the fizzy brown sticky shit that comes in ‘Regular’ or ‘Diet’ canned concoctions.

Thought for the day: Posh Dave Scameron’s “Let's all get round the table” approach has as much chance of success as shoving butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle. How is any Big Society scheme going to work when you have Big Business involved – looking after their own end – and who think ‘pro-bono’ is a type of dog food?

One for posting on the Moron-Watch website: Anyone recall Health Sec’ Andrew Lansley’s blog entry on the Tory Party website in November 2008, in which the cretin claimed the ‘good things’ to emerge from a recession included unemployed people being able to spend more time with their homeless families - while sheltering from the rain under a two-meter square of canvas sheeting – or huddled together in soup kitchen lines – or locked up in the same cell at a debtor’s prison. And Cabbage Patch Dave has appointed this clot to the post of Health Secretary? We’re all fucked, for sure.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy, squirrel shit and essence of cormorant.

UK Pays Out Torture Camp Compo’

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

At a time when draconic austerity measures are being enforced across the broad spectrum of the UK’s public spending budget by Tory Chancellor George Oddball – condemning the middle classes to extinction and the already-marginalised members of society to abject poverty - the Libservative coalition government have now decided, in their infinite sense of fair play and street smart wisdom, to award a bunch of British Muslim terrorist ‘suspects’ with a lotto jackpot figure in personal injury compensation.

The baker’s dozen - who were extradited to the US extraordinary rendition interrogation and concentration camp facility at Gitmo Bay in communist Cuba in 2002 for the simple reason they looked a ‘bit dodgy’ and were on the Jihadi Chronicle’s subscribers list – are to receive a large brown paper parcel containing a few zillion quid to divvy up amongst themselves – as a gesture of apology for their inconvenience in missing several family Christmases together plus their annual Ramadan diet – but most definitely not as an admission of culpability for any form of human rights or wrongs abuses by HM Government’s MI5 and MI6 security services.

Hmmm, much the same as the notorious Hollie Greig case in Scotland’s kiddie fiddling capital of Aberdeen – parallels could most definitely be drawn - wherein poor Hollie, a registered disabled person suffering from Down’s Syndrome was fortunate enough to be awarded £13,000-plus quid from the Criminal Compensation Fund for ‘not’ being sexually assaulted while still a minor by the incumbent Sheriff and a legion of other local Masonic paedophiles posing as upstanding members of polite society.

Payments to former detainees at Guantanamo Bay most definitely do not represent "admissions of culpability" and the amounts paid will remain secret, according to the Tory’s answer to Mr Creosote – the lard-arsed Ken Clarke - current Justice Secretary and MP for Shitcliffe.
Of course it’s going to remain a secret – this is yet another can of worms they do not want spilling out across the length and breadth of the world’s media – especially the alternative news media – that not owned and controlled by ultra-Zionists and kikester apologists. Such would be a harbinger of political doom for the guilty.

Thus the former Jolly Jihad detainees have agreed to be bound by confidentiality agreements concerning the payments, which our old friends, the ubiquitous government whistleblowers, report as running to several zillion tax-free quid.

Pox News reported last night that the released mujihadeen could receive more than £1 million quid each – with none of the usual deductions for their keep, board and lodgings. One of the largest payouts will go to Mr Binman Mohamed, who was released from the Gitmo concentration camp last year – where he claims to have been the victim of brutal treatment – being fed haraam fried Spam and chips for lunch every day and forced to watch Pinky and Perky TV re-runs at night.

Also topping the pay-out figures is Mr Fizzy al Kaseltzer, who filed a personal injury claim over incidences of being buggered on a daily basis by US Marine guards at Gitmo Bay. Fizzy told reporters “My proctologist says they ruptured my sphincter and that is why I keep walking funny and can't stop farting.”

Meanwhile, at the other end of the crazy compensation scale we have Muslim prisoners – the criminal scally and scrote types – not political – at HMP Leeds, launching a multi-million pound claim for compensation after they were offered Spam sandwiches during the holy month of Ramadan for their Iftaar evening meal.

They are now threatening legal action, insisting that their human rights were breached and could each be entitled to up to £10,000 in compensation if they win their case at court.

One gobby Muslim inmate, Mr Istimna bin Manuke Khara, who was serving a 16-week sentence for driving DUI whilst disqualified, told the Whingeing Gits Review “When I opened my meal that night I found I'd been given a Spam sandwich when I’d ordered a BLT. It was a breach of my human rights and I want £10,000 quid in compensation or else I’ll go to Afghanistan and join Al Qaeda.”

Thought for the day: Inside England’s infamous Newgate Debtors Prison during the 1700 and 1800’s if you had nobody outside to supply your meals, you basically starved – as the prison ration was one penny’s-worth of dry stale bread every four days – and that was the victual allowance for God-fearing Anglo-Saxon Christian folks, not picky heathens.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tory ‘Drip’ Mulls Flood Tax Scam

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Zillions of homeowners living near the sea or rivers face being hit with an extortive new Flood Tax under controversial plans currently being dreamed up and cobbled together by the Libservative coalition’s Ministry of Scamology. This is to plug a £260 million quid shortfall in spending on flood defences due the money being wasted on foreign aid to corrupt Third World shitholes - and maintaining an army of aggression in Afghanistan to provide target practice for the Taliban.

The controversial proposal comes as the residents of Cumbria prepare to mark the first anniversary of the devastating deluges which turned the Lake District into a singular ‘Lake Cumbria’ last year – creating the biggest duck pond in Europe.

A year ago this week, record rainfall caused rivers and streams in the region to burst their banks and flood streets, engulfing homes and businesses and displacing hundreds of residents – many of whom are still convinced this was a divineform of Karmic retribution for them laughing at television footage of the plight of legions of darkie monsoon flood victims in Pakistan.

The Sunday Shitraker has learned that the Minister for Runny Liquids, Richard Benyon, Tory MP for Borkum Riff, whom Posh Dave Scameron personally chose for the job as he’s such a ‘drip’ - believes the cost of protecting homes and businesses from the four elements (Earth, Air, Fire and Water – plus Wind) should be shared between the government and those who benefit from defences directly – and definitely not switch the true onus back onto the stupid planners of governments past, who chose to locate housing projects on the edge of cliffs, the wrack line of beaches or in the middle of geological flood plains.

In May 2009 Minister Benyon, known to friends and Parliamentary associates alike as a ‘right knobhead’, and ‘the type of bloke who could fuck up a perfectly good anvil’ - was listed by the Scandalmonger’s Gazette as one of the House of Conmans living ‘Saints’ in the expenses scandal (due his being too stupid to know how to pad his expense claims and fiddle a few bob out of the taxpayers).

In contrast to Benyon’s ‘tax the fuckers ‘til they drop’ scheme, Labour MP Bazzer McScrote, whose Crapdale Hamlets constituency bore the brunt of the Cumbria floods in November last year, opined to reporters that the prospect of local residents facing extra costs would "go down like a lead balloon and make Minister Benyon as popular as chemotherapy".

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs took a 29 per cent budget cut (£110 million quid) in Chancellor George Oddball's scorched earth Comprehensive Spending Review – hence leaving the entire countryside vulnerable to the ravages of nature and the effects of global warming and / or cooling – whichever comes first.

To help make up the shortfall, Minister Benyon believes the costs should be shared between local government authorities and those who most benefit from flood defences – with people living on hillsides and mountain tops being able to apply for a Flood Tax exemption.
In return for paying the tax – which would be on top of the extortionate insurance premiums already imposed on flood risk areas - local communities would get first priority deliveries of the truckloads of sandbags, shovels, buckets, inflatable dinghies and mops that the new levy would provide.

Do you live in the Cumbria area or on the coast? Have you been inundated by floods or a recent tsunami? Can you afford to pay an annual Flood Tax bill? Ever thought of moving to the Sahara? Do you agree the homeless camped out on river banks should divvy up their fair share of the new tax?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a free ‘Rainy Season’ mop and bucket.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.