Tuesday, 12 May 2009

US Sacks General for Moral Conscience

The US defence secretary has forced out the country's commander in Afghanistan, claiming the war there needs "new thinking" after CO General Desmond Dorkfelder, in a momentary attack of Christian moral conscience, opposed further bombing of civilian targets thereas well as in Pakistan and was quoted by the International Herald Shitraker as stating “This is morally wrong - what the fuck next – are we gonna declare war on all of the region’s ‘Stans’?”

Dorkfelder has recently been viewed as being at odds with the Pentagon and White House scorched earth policy of napalming everything that didn’t have poppies growing on it, stating he was a soldier, not a mass murderer, and was not stationed there to oversee the safe harvesting and shipment of the CIA’s dirty money / black finance opium crops.

DS Robert Gates, younger brother of the famous Water Gates, refused to explain to reporters the exact reason he has fired Gen Dorkfelder but did make reference to the fact he was considered by President O’Barmy as too conventional a military commander - who believed in ending the current Taliban conflict by any means possible and bringing about a state of peace.

Gates was quoted as saying “He might be brilliant at organising no-fire zones, truces and peace accords - as he did in Iraq - but we don’t want him doing anything to interfere with the currently expanding conflict Afghanistan just as we’re getting a military foothold in Pakistan too.”

Gates confirmed Gen. Dorkfelder would effectively be sacked less than a year after taking command and will be replaced by Gen. Stanley Barbarian, who at present serves as the director of US Joint Chiefs of Shit, and is seen as having a better understanding of the overall conflict by right of the meritorious fact he believes in snuffing anyone old enough to bleed.

The change comes as the US boosts troops numbers in Afghanistan, ready for a change in strategy to take the war into Pakistan and force a change of political leadership so they gain control of the country’s nuclear weapons arsenal that so terrifies their Zionist masters in Tel Aviv.

Conversely General Dorkfelder’s time as US commander in Afghanistan has coincided with a dramatic drop in opium production due his refusal to deploy troops to police the crops and prevent the Taliban burning them.

The leadership switch comes as President O’Barmy’s administration prepares to dispatch tens of thousands of extra troops to Afghanistan (21,000 additional troops to the country, to join an existing force of 38,000) to achieve such ambitious strategic goals as a military occupation of Pakistan - and amid pressure on international forces - to please try and reduce the numbers of civilians snuffed by coalition air strikes - which seem to bomb anything and anyone but the enemy.

Relations with US muppet President Hamid Karzai's ‘Fraggle Rock’ Afghan government have been strained by a recent air strike which Afghan officials claim killed three village-worths of goat-herding peasants and their illiterate snotty-nosed kids.

However Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, told the Joint Chiefs at today’s meeting “That little shit Karzai’s use-by date’s getting pretty close to expiry and if he doesn’t keep his trap buttoned he’s the next one who’s gonna have a Predator drone buzzing up his ass.”

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange declaration:
No trees, fish, cormorants or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic : a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Zionist lobby.

No comments: