Monday, 4 May 2009

Italian Stallion Berlusconi Gets the Elbow

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Shitraker the wife of Italian Slime Minister Silvio Berlusconi confirmed that she will file for divorce and sue her philandering spouse for what attorneys have postured will be “lots and lots of lovely lira.”

Chlamydia Mozarella reportedly said she could no longer abide with a man who "consorted with minors" after her husband attended one of his female chatelaine’s 16th birthday party. “He is a disgrace - a 72-year-old ‘Meco pistuli’ pervert who cannot get it up without mega-strength Viagra - groping teenagers in front of the paparazzi’s news cameras indeed.”

Following his wife's vitriolic reaction to this latest bout of public womanising, Berlusconi was quoted as saying he was sorry she "had let herself be fooled by his political opposition’s left-wing newspapers".
The geriatric zillionaire slime minister stated it was a personal matter that pissed him off no end and he would be talking with his Sicilian friends to have a quiet word in Mrs. Berlusconi’s ear.

The ‘Al Giorno Merdu’, a leading Italian newspaper, said Ms Mozarella's decision came after reading about the 16th birthday party for Fellatia Gamarouch in Naples.
"That's enough, I cannot remain with a man who shags baby quajas" (young whores) she was quoted as saying.

Another newspaper, La Ratstampa, quoted Mozarella as saying she had been "forced to take this step for her personal professional dignity" after Berlusconi gave Ms. Gamarouch a gold and diamond-encrusted jack rabbit personal vibrator as a birthday gift and appointed her Minister for Potholes.

Relations with her husband were already said to be frayed after Ms Mozarella had criticised her husband's choice of young and attractive female candidates with little political experience to represent his Renta-Crook Party in the forthcoming European elections.
Her exact words were reputedly “Hoy Silvio ! Va da via I cul! Te spach et cul!” (literal translation : Fuck you, Silvio – I’m gonna kick your geriatric ass)

Ms Mozarella is Berlusconi's twenty-second wife and a prominent Neapolitan porn star. The couple, who have been married for almost six weeks, met at a screening of her latest hit movie “Chlamydia Humps the Vatican” in which she bonks an entire conclave of cardinals in an explicit doggying scene.

In the immortal words of the Lone Ranger – “Hi-yo Silvio!”

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic

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