Wednesday, 6 May 2009

UK Immigration Exclusion List Published

The names of some of the people barred from entering the UK for fostering extremism or hatred towards every fucker and their dog have been published for the first time by the Ministry for Paranoid Xenophobia.

Out of 22 million who were placed on the exclusion list up to the end of March, four score and ten have at last been named by the Home Office.
They include black supremacists, white supremacists, brown supremacists and yellow supremacists; people with chronic halitosis, and a boring US radio talk show host with a small weiner.

Also on the Home Office shit list are Islamic extremists, Catholic extremists, Pancake Tuesday Adventists, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster worshippers, Rawandan genocidists and anyone who thinks Gordon Brown’s a tosspot and a total wanker.

Since 2005, the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, when not too busy fiddling her Parliamentary expenses, has been able to add people to the exclusion list if they express views which stir up dislike of celebrity chefs, incite violence against soccer referees or sponsor serious criminal activity such as not voting for New Labour in a by-election.

The Home Office said it was "not considered to be in the public interest" to reveal the names of all the 22 million barred ‘foreign types’ in which the thick red line on the exclusion projection graph goes off the top of the longest piece of paper ever produced.

However the Murdoch-owned tabloid gutter press has been quick to question the home office as to whether US-based arch shit-stirrer Seymour McScrunt was included on the classified exclusion list – to which they replied in the affirmative.

McScrunt, a gay self-hating Jewish American of African descent (Kenyan-Hawaiian) and an adamant Holohoax-‘and’-Climate Change denier - has earned the deserved moniker of the ‘Local Anti-Christ’ and ‘Chief Sith of the Dark Side’.

McScrunt was deported from the UK last year after Scotland Yard suspected his involvement with a failed buggering plot against the person of philanthropist Sir Gerald Plumrose, the pro-Zionist Spam tycoon. At the time the foiled Sodomist attack was scheduled to occur, PM Gordon ‘Culpability’ Brown had just appointed Plumrose to the cabinet post of Minister for Sorting Shit Out.

In an article posted on his Waco website, McScrunt said he did not advocate too much violence but "traditional values"- such as the Catholic Inquisition, burning at the stake, transportation to Australia, a day in the pillory followed by tar and feathering – and exile from the community – a real Asbo sentence – were necessary to save modern society from complete moral decline and total anarchy.

In October, ‘Second Home’ Secretary Jacqui Smith announced the tightening of the rules determining who could come to the UK.

"If people are keeping their nasty shithouse views to themselves, that's their affair. We should not be in the business of policing people's minds – well, not yet anyway – until the entire gang of landless peasant fucks are all micro-chipped and Big Brother’s really in charge."

On the list of those banned between October and March are Hamas MP Yoni al Kaseltzer for complaining about Israeli war crimes to Fox News, and Jewish film director Isaac Porkenstein whose recent documentary on paedophilia in the KSA and the UAE - titled “Sheikh Rashid reams the Catamites” - won a prize at this spring’s Cannes Film Festival.

Those barred in recent years include former Nazis and religious extremists such as Pope Benny – the Mk XVI model; animal rights activists who break into pet shops and release hundreds of budgies, gerbils and hamsters; people who organize Tupperware parties and Albanian swan poachers.

Also on the exclusion list are two leaders of a violent Russian skinhead gang : the Minsk Émigré Maulers, and Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard Merlin McTwat -who threatened to put a spell on Jacqui Smith to make her even uglier.

Fred Waldron Slagg Snr, a 99-year-old American Baptist pastor of the Church of the Sacred Cosmopolitan Porcupine, and his daughter Shirley Slagg were barred for their anti-gay comments and referring to the PM’s Business Secretary, Lord Peter Scandalson, as a ‘faggot ’ and ‘vermin in ermine’.

The pair of religious nutters have further attacked Al Bore from the sanctity of the pulpit by labeling him a ‘profiteering sensationalist propaganda merchant’ and publicly stated the cause of the UK’s teenage binge drinking pandemic is down to global warming.

Rap singer Snoop Wogg is classified on the exclusion list as a “shit-for-brains anarchist-racist turkey" glorifying gang and gun culture and spanking the monkey on stage.
US lifestyle guru Martha Stewart, who was convicted of stock sale fraud and served a prison sentence, was catalogued as an “undesirable cunt in cunt’s clothing”.

London-based militant Marxist Pakistani activist Mullah Muhammed al Mohammed was added to the list and deported after conspiring with his Skidrow Hamlets madrassa students to steal Tory leader David Cameron’s bicycle every Wednesday afternoon since 2007.

A Dutch ‘Bonkers Party' MP, Geert Willy, who called the Koran 'a pile of fascist crap’ was recently deported back to the Netherlands after attempting to defy a ban on entering the UK and further broadcast his Islamophobia hate messages from a podium in Harrods Food Hall.

Alas, the spirit of Hyde Park corner is forever gone – yet another victim fallen foul of the Kafkaesque – Orwellian ‘Nasty Nanny’ totalitarian state.

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Rusty’s Skewed News Views - a newsheet - media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch or the Zionist - Israeli apologists lobby.

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