Friday, 8 May 2009

Ex-Nazi Religious Extremist in Middle East

Pope Benny, the all-new German Mark XVI model, has left Rome for a visit to the Middle East - the first tour of the holy places of Christendom by a Pope since Christianity lost Jerusalem to the great unwashed Islamic hordes of Saladin during the Crusades of the Middle Ages.

Benny, labeled by critics as a ‘former Nazi’ and a ‘religious extremist’, begins his week-long trip in Jordan, then goes to Israel, with a scheduled stop at the West Bank to draw some money from the ATM.

The visit is aimed at encouraging the faith of the minority Christian community in the Middle East, and really pissing off the heathen Jews, according to the Pope’s Vatican secretary, Jesuit Father Joe Goebbels SJ.

Jordanian Islamist fanatics from the arch-militant Jolly Jihad phalange have already thrown a spanner into the scheduled works of the Mid-East grand tour by demanding that Benny apologise for a speech in 2006 that linked Islam and violence after several Muslim Semtex vest suicide bombers blasted themselves to smithereens - killing scores of innocent Christian pilgrims visiting Israel in the process.

The eight-day tour - which the Pontiff described as good for a spot of ‘Jew-baiting’ and all-round sectarian shit-stirring fun – is scheduled to climax in Tehran where Benny intends to meet with the Iranian leader of the Raving Looney Party - Marmite Ah’madashell - and bestow God’s blessing on their clandestine nuclear weapons project.

The head of the Roman Catholic Church is also seeking to strengthen ties with Palestinians in Gaza and intends to promise them Vatican backing to start a 21st Century Jewish diaspora if they convert to Catholicism.

More recently, the German-born Pope Benny has offended the thin-skinned sensibilities of Jewish leaders world-wide by lifting the excommunication of a Holohoax-denying British bishop Rupert Yidstamper, and agreeing with the cleric’s call for a total reality check on the verisimilitude of the WW2 Holohoax fantasy.

Futher ire amongst Jewish high-five types has been raised as many in Israel are angered by the proposed sainthood of Pope Pius XII, reviled by orthodox kykes for his ‘”Gas ‘em all” stance during the reputed Nazi Holohoax.

During the visit - which includes a stop in Bethlehem for a couple of pints of Stella at the Manger Bar – and a ride on a donkey - Pope Benny is expected to stir up further tensions when he delivers a plea for peace between Israelis and Palestinians, and for the establishment of a real Palestinian homeland.

The Pontiff explained to the tabloid gutter press that before the theft of Palestinian lands and the illegal creation of the criminal state of Israel in 1948, up to 20% of the population of the lands where Jesus Christ lived and died was Christian. That number has now dwindled to just two percent and a Christian revival missionary drive was long overdue.

Meanwhile, Hector McTwat, security correspondent for the Anti-Semites Gazette, claims that both Jolly Jihad and Mossad have covertly discussed Benny's assassination during his Middle East tour, branding him "the enemy of both Islam and Zion".

On Saturday, Pope Benny will visit Mount Nebo Spa Resort, previously a part of Trans-Jordan, where, according to Mein Kampf, the great Nazi prophet Uncle Adolf is said to have first evolved his hatred of usurious money-grasping Jewish types in 1933 after being grossly overcharged for a kinky kosher 'rub n tug happy ending' massage.

Peace of Earth anyone?

What is your reaction to Pope Benny's visit to the Middle East? Will it have a positive effect or kick-start Armageddon?
Send us your comments using the form below and we’ll pass them onto Father Torquemada at the Vatican’s Office of the Inquisition.

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