Kiddie Bankrupts Parents in E-Bay Auction

Three-year-old New Zealand girl Pipi McScrunt is pretty smart on a computer : too smart for her parents, who woke up on Tuesday morning to find she had bought a full-size excavating digger on an auction website for NZ$ 20,000

While Mum and Dad were partaking in a Sunday 'afternoon delight' session behind a locked bedroom door at their home in Smegmadale Bay, near Dorkland, little Pipi got bored and decided to play with the computer while her parents shagged each other’s brains out.

Logging on to the e-Bay auction site which her mother had bookmarked, and after a spot of browsing, she made the top bid for a Kobelco tracked excavator, the most recent item listed on the homepage.

Pipi’s Mum, Slagsy McScrunt, told a reporter from the Kiwi Strangler’s Gazette that the first she knew about her daughter’s bid on e-Bay was when a giant custard-yellow excavator was driven onto their front lawn and the operator presented her with an delivery note and said “Sign here.”

Next came a call from their bank manager advising he wasn’t too happy about their unapproved $19,500 overdraft.

Scrutiny of events revealed an e-mail from e-Bay informing Mrs. Scrunt she’d won the auction and the $20,000 payment had been debited against her bank account.

Slagsy’s hubbie, Norm, an unemployed platypus trainer told reporters Pipi had seen the bright yellow digger and assumed it was a Tonka toy and ideal for playing in her sandpit.

Norm further informed the press “While Pipi’s little online purchase has sort of fucked up our finances big-time and bankrupted us, I’ve had a word with the bank manager and he’s agreed to convert the overdraft into a low-interest business loan.”

“Pipi’s proved herself a dab hand at operating the excavator already and has dug us one beauty of a swimming pool in the back garden – not bad for a three-year old.”

“Anyway, all the neighbours want a pool dug as well, plus the Sky Shite channel want to do a film of Pipi operating her digger – so we’re quids in after all."
"The wee lass is busy browsing round e-Bay for a decent Cat D8 bulldozer right now and wants to start her own company - Pipi’s Plant Hire.”