Pravda Rake up Fake US Moon Landings

Russia’s best-selling state propaganda gutter press tabloid news sheet goes into shit-raking mode this morning by stating there’s something very wrong with all the various US space flights to the Moon.

The legendary space missions are still shrouded in controversy and Mankind, to this day, has a number of valid reasons to cast doubt on the miracle of inter-planetary flights.
A legion of skeptics - including the ones who don’t watch television and on occasions display random bursts of common sense - claim that US astronauts have never landed on the Moon – or anywhere near it.

In 2007 Japan’s Fugu One lunar orbiter took mobs of pictures of the site where Apollo 11 supposedly landed in 1969.
If the astronauts had ever landed there, they should have left a lot of equipment on the site, including their outdoor crapper, radio masts and antennas - and the lunar rovers, on which they traveled over the moon’s surface – plus the ubiquitous Stars and Stripes flag.

The the high resolution / telescopic lens pictures, which the Japanese orbiter took, showed not even the slightest hint of the US presence on the Moon – just hundreds of pockmarked craters resembling the spots on Amy Winehouse’s bottom.

Further, there was only an empty family-sized Shakey’s Pizza carton seen on photographs of the site where Apollo-15 is supposed to have landed at the Hadley Rille site in 1971. The carton, NASA claimed, was conclusive evidence of Apollo 15’s presence on the Moon.

However, Pravda’s critics were quick to point out it was only conclusive evidence that someone had eaten a Shakey’s Pizza on the Moon.

Conversely, the super-skeptic’s cadre threw yet another wrench into the works of rhetoric and logical progression by stating the obvious : there was an empty pizza carton on the moon – which could have been deliberately planted there – or left by alien visitors.

It is an open secret that the Moon’s entire surface is covered with a thick layer of dust due nobody ever bothering to clean up.
US astronauts Neil Smellstrong and Buzz Lightyear took many pictures of their footprints on the Moon’s surface.

Waldo Kipper, a dedicated X-Files fan and researcher of lunar and Martian anomalies, has many questions about the evidence, which the lunar dust provides.

A number of photos taken by Neil and Buzz with their Kodak Instamatic showed their lunar rover standing at a distance from the landing module. There are no wheel tracks seen on the pictures – as if the rover had been levitated – or carried - from the moon lander to the site where it was photographed.

One may assume that the lunar ground was too hard for the wheel tracks to appear in it. However the astronauts boot prints abound in the dust around the rover. They can even be seen even underneath the rover, although there are no wheel tracks on the ground at all.

This only adds to the lunar landings controversy and fuels the skeptics arguments that no fucker – or their dog – have ever landed on the moon and that the entire missions were a fake to make Tricky Dickie Nixon look good and to exaggerate their success and baffle the US’s major rival in the space race - the USSR – and really piss off Brezhnev and the Russian leadership.

One recurring and persistent stock rumour - circulated and maintained by the anti-Semitic forces of Pan-Islam – which originated from the Johnboy Pollard School of Ultra-Secrecy in Tel Aviv – claims the sham lunar landings were all a Shylock plot to claim the Moon for a Zionist land-grab – the same as Palestine.

According to hoax proponents, the U.S. government benefited greatly with the awe and thrall of the counterfeit lunar landings providing a popular distraction from the Vietnam war.
However, lunar activities suddenly stopped, with planned missions cancelled, around the same time that the U.S. ceased its involvement in the Vietnam War and got the fuck out of Saigon faster than a rat out of an aquaduct.

Thus with the essence of the Indo-China debacle rearing its ugly head yet again in the form of the growing military quagmires of Iraq, Afghanistan – and now Pakistan – perhaps NASA might shortly be announcing a programme of manned space flights to ? – Mars? – the Twelfth Planet Nibiru? – or simply Never-Never Land – piloted by Peter Pan and Tinker Belle – to divert the attentions of the gullible voting masses from the impending calamity and disgrace of the US getting beaten yet again by a bunch of ill-equipped Third World peasants armed only with an adequate measure of stoic determination to kick invading foreign aggressors out of their homelands.