Saturday, 9 May 2009

Trinity Cross Honour gets Shitcanned

An honour established by the Queen has been declared unlawful after Muslims, Hindus and other heathens and pagan worshippers complained that its Christian name and cross insignia were offensive to their fragile cultural sensibilities.

The Trinity Cross of the Order of Trinity was established by the Queen forty years ago to recognise distinguished service and gallantry in the former slave colony of Trinidad and Tobago.

It has been received by dozens of worthy individuals including Garfield the Cat and cricketer Brian Scrunt, the novelist V. S. Boring, celebrity inventors Wallace and Gromit, and many of the islands’ prominent banana munchers.

The Privy Council in London, in yet another display of idiotic ‘political correctness’ has ruled that the decoration is unconstitutional because it discriminates against non-Christians.
Two British law lords – Messers Numpty and Dumpty – in a display of Kafkaesque and Orwellian legalese semantics, declared the honour breached the right to equality and the right to freedom of conscience and belief.

The implications of the ruling on British decorations are being studied by lawyers at the Cabinet Office, which oversees the honours system. A spokesman informed the tabloid gutter press “We consider it’s just another shit-stirring exercise by a few disaffected vindictive infidel wogs out to cause a spot of ‘Them and us’ aggravation.”

A parliamentary review of British honours has already recommended streamlining the system with new titles that have no reference to Christian saints or symbols – such as a Shaka Zulu medal or an Allah’s Crescent or even a Star of Shiva or Arms of Kali to appease the ever-cantankerous ethnics who originated from the Indian sub-continent.

The Trinity Cross was established in 1969 and took precedence over all other decorations except the Victoria’s Secret award and the civilian George Cross (awarded for snuffing old dragons).

However, the High Court of Trinidad and Tobago has ruled that the decoration discriminates against non-Christians but said that it did not have the power to invalidate the royal order.
The Court of Appeal upheld the ruling, with island’s Cabinet agreeing that its highest national award should be renamed the ‘Order of the Juicy Pineapple’.

Benjamin O’Dinga, a very sun-tanned Birmingham poet, publicly rejected his honour in 2003, saying that the title of the Order of the British Empire stank of white supremacy – even though he was quite happy to live off the UK state and claim welfare benefits while writing anti-Honky prejudiced crap.

Last year Christine McTwat, an SNP member of the Scottish Parliament, described the George Medal, one of the highest civilian awards for bravery, as “clearly very Anglocentric” and unsuitable for Porridge Wogs and men in skirts. She suggested replacing it with a nationalist award such as a “Haggis Medal”.

Huge Peskytwat, editor-in-chief of Burke’s Peerage and Gentry, said that changing the names of titles to remove their Christian references would destroy hundreds of years of history.
“Part of the significance of an honour is its antiquity and I can see no reason why they should be changed just to suit the inflated ego’s and stupid backward sensibilities of some heathen darkie types.”

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