Thursday, 22 November 2012

Vermin in Ermine Heads Lizard Banking

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Lord Peter Scandalson once made the superbly arrogant remark that he was ‘absolutely chuffed to little mintballs’ over chaps like his bankster dynasty pal Natty Rothshite and Oleg Mobsaroubles - the owner of Russia’s Wankprom Oil and Gulag Gaz - getting filthy rich – and hoped by association that some of the gilded lucre might rub off on him if he commuted up and down the corridors of graft and corruption for long enough – just like the Croesusian riches harvested by his old cottaging buddy Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar, who now dines nightly at the table of Lucullus.

Canny members of the Scumbag Watch fraternity will doubtless recall that the former Secretary of Sleaze, who was elevated to the elitist rank of Vermin in Ermine by Gordon ‘Cyclops’ Brown back in 2008 – the year of the UK’s great financial crash - was ‘twice’ forced to resign as a Cabinet minister due his dodgy dealings and influence peddling (Strychnine Hinduja Syndrome and dodgy Mrs Robinson ‘no interest’ loans).
However, since being hoofed out of the cosy New Labour business secretary sinecure in May 2010, Scandalson has undergone a Pauline conversion and now worships at the Cheesy Crust Church of Latter Day Money-Grubbers before the altar of Mammon – the avaricious God of greedy twats.

Scandalson’s secretive international business consultancy, the Shitesbridge-based Global Ripoffs is, typically, an LLP (Limited Liability Partnership) – a status designation which allows him to keep schtum over all the company’s dealings with shifty foreign types (gun-runners, drug dealers, Koshka sex slave traffickers) and managing the MI6 intelligence services black op’s slush funds – and has built up assets over the last two years amounting to what banksters quaintly refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’.

Global Ripoffs, (formerly Rock-Paper-Scissors Investments run by Wallace & Gromit Inc) which is managed by Lord Vermin’s loyal lieutenant Benjamin Wogg-Tosser, has now joined hands with Shape Shifter Trust SA and PR spin giant WWP plc and last year declared a taxable income and earnings of a mere £574,000 prompting speculation – plus a storm of caustic criticism - that Scandy was up to his old tricks again and using offshore tax haven dodges (Kazakhstan) to cheat HMRC out of their dues.

So, Lord Scandalson of the Felchers’ cup is filled to the brim, and now this cornucopia of plenty runneth over with the announcement of his elevation to the post of chairman of the Lizard International investment bank which serves to cater for elitist ‘reptile funds’ and looks after the Royal Lolly for the inbred mongrels of the Saxe-Gotha-Coburg-McWindsor clan.

Okay, no laughing now, still on a semi-serious note - but the top dog vacancy has arisen due the previous chairman, Ken Costa Coffee, departing the Lizard Bank to join the Church of England following his ‘divine’ appointment as head of a committee given the ‘mission impossible’ task of reconnecting ‘the financial with the ethical’ and convincing the City of London’s shifty Shylocks to rediscover their moral compass. If it wasn’t so ridiculous it might be funny.

The hapless Costa, after being spiritually touched in ‘mysterious ways’ and experiencing his own Damascene epiphany, has taken on this thankless burden to seek out a pragmatic solution of uniting the financial and the ethical sides of Crapitaism.

Alas, tis seen from cynical eyes as a doomed calling from day one as regardless of how many of Rabbi Sheldon Shekelstein’s synagoge money-lender’s tables he kicks over around the Square Mile there is no ethical side to Crapitalism – same as there’s no ethical side to extraordinary rendition and torture – or to the land thefts of Zionism - or shock and awe aggressive warfare – as any marginalised Palestinian in the occupied West Bank or Gaza Strip will agree.

For fuck’s sake, how the hell is Costa supposed to get the City to repent its sins when the den of vice was founded on income from the extortions of Empire and slavery and opium – and to this day profits greatly from human frailty and the dividends of international criminal enterprise?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


wiggins said...

I think Costa's new sinecure amounts to being up shit creek without a paddle. How will he deal with all the three wheelers and bottomers in his tribe? We can but guess.

Anonymous said...

LOl's - Scandalson / Lord of the Felchers / Vermin in Ermie. Brilliant stuff