Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A report recently leaked by whistle-blowing moles working deep cover inside the International Crisis Group on Afghanistan warns that the departure of NATO / ISAF forces in 2014 has the potential to create a power vacuum that will mirror the disaster-ensuing Soviet pull-out of February 1989 and result in the collapse of the graft and corruption-ridden Karzai government - unless steps are taken immediately – if not sooner – to ensure that Afghanistan becomes a member state of the good ole US of A – or joins the debt-ridden 27-nation EUSSR community.
The disturbing report claims that as Afghan police officers and army troops are wholly unprepared for security responsibility and hard pressed to even wipe their own arses, the scheduled 2014 polls would be plagued by fraud – just as elections have been since the Great Satan’s NATO forces invaded the Third World shithole back in 2001 following the 9/11 ‘New Pearl Harbour’ false flag attacks on the US by the nasty ZioNazi neo-cons and Israeli intelligence services - and stuck their compliant muppet Hamid Karzai and his Kleptocracy Party in the seat of government.
Conversely the semi-lobotomised President Karzai labelled the predictions ‘nonsense and utter bullshit’ – informing one press hack from the Gophers Gazette that “Our national police and army are ready to defend the country's gas pipeline and opium crops – and hopefully against these crazy Taliban mujahedeen too as I do not want to end up like my predecessor Mohammad Najibullah – with my bollocks chopped off and dragged round Kabul in the altogether behind a truck as soon as my foreign military protectors sod off back from whence they came.”
However the report from the Brussels-based ICC group is stark in its prediction that Karzai’s government is dead set on a collision course for what it calls a devastating political crisis once NATO pulls out in 2014 – a withdrawal strategy fraught with the spectre of unintended consequences not only from the Taliban insurgents but power brokering warlords who want the Kabul throne for themselves and are fully geared up to fight a protracted civil war if so required to stake their claim to the opium bounty and contractually facilitate the exploitation of the country’s untapped natural resources by a cabal of multi-national plunderers.
The ICC believe that the incumbent Kleptocracy Party government administration presents an accident just waiting to happen and that Afghan President Hamid Karzai – (the type of sheep-shagging perv’ who goes off for long walks in the hills and comes back smelling of KY Jelly and wet wool) - who is ‘constitutionally barred’ from running for a further term of office unless a national emergency exists / state of martial law is declared - may be trying to stack the deck for his personal favoured candidate – specifically Mohammed Kami-Karzai (no relation).
To wit, the ICC concludes this will lead to a socio-political impasse and provide a pretext for Karzai to implement martial law, which could in turn lead to the total collapse of the basket case state apparatus.
On the bright side the ICC report makes pertinent mention that following the withdrawal of NATO forces then only Afghan police and army forces will be carrying weapons and all previous sneak ‘green-on-blue’ attacks by Afghan military on NATO / ISAF troops will henceforth manifest as ‘green-on-green’ attacks as they back-stab each other in grand homicidal maniac fashion - a barbaric blood-lust stigma that separates the members of a civilised, morally-orientated society from a bunch of unwashed fuck-brained savages who believe the twisted ideology of Sharia Law’s the best thing since sliced bread.
Greens bushwhacking greens will provide a welcome break for the ‘blues’ from being shot in the back by these ingrate Afghan scumbags who don’t take kindly to a bunch of infidel Western invaders attempting to lift them out of their beloved heathen night – and steal their poppies or grope their burka-clad womenfolk.
In what might be regarded by anyone with two ounces of common sense or a couple of brain cells still achieving telemetry as ‘utter madness’, an absurd argument put forth by Felisa ‘Farzana’ Dyrud, a former US Air Force officer, claims that the recent spike of green on blue ‘insider attacks’ is due the fact the Great Satan’s hierarchy has announced they are withdrawing in 2014.
The gospel according to Dryud’s deluded logic states the Afghans don’t resent the presence of a bunch of red neck Yanks as their military occupiers but rather for sodding off home and leaving the job of totally eliminating the Taliban unfinished.
Thought for the day. Fuck NATO and the Neo-Con’s ZioNazi New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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