Saturday, 17 November 2012

EUSSR Demands 20% VAT on New Homes

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The EUSSR’s money-grubbing kleptocrats running Brussels’ Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next have come up with a highway robbery proposal to scrap the current zero VAT rating on new homes throughout Europe and plan to slap them with a wallet-crippling 20% - which any fucker and their dog with two ounces of common sense to rub together recognises that the already-inflated prices will soar even further into the skyward realms and the ‘totally unaffordable’ wish list category.

The move to charge a crippling 20% is part of an ill-devised scheme to hike all tax rates across the fatally-flawed 27-member EUSSR fascist state community to generate the funds required to keep bailing out the insolvent Greek economy – (along with Italy, Portugal, Spain and Ireland) - an ill-thought move whose knock-on effect has been calculated by anyone who can count all their fingers and toes to drive up the average price of a new home in Broken Britain by £48,000 - from £238,000 to £286,000 for a bog standard 3-bedroom semi-detached on some Slumborough Hamlets sink or swim housing estate - and have a catastrophic impact on the UK’s already fucked up ‘debtocracy’ economic model.

Ron Scrote, director of the Residential Ripoff Landlords Association, responded to the Brussels’ proposal, informing a press hack from the Blood, Sweat & Tears Gazette that “Even wiv Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society push ter throw up zillions of affordable houses fer first time buyers an’ them wot’s bin evicted an’ forced ter live on landfill sites since our cunt of a government passed this anti-squattin’ legislation ter stop homeless families movin’ in ter the legions of properties wot’s lyin’ empty - a mere 130,000 homes woz built across the expanse of Broken Britain last year by Hovels-R-Us, wot represents a historic low fer the buildin’ industry.”

“So wot I says is fuck the toe-rag technocrats an’ their EUSSR Commie state - bleedin’ us dry just ter finance Brussels’ flash Mercedes limo’ an’ fancy junket culture. We’re an effin’ island, not part of Europe an’ fuck wot that kiddie fiddlin’ twat Ted Heath got us signed on for wiv the defunct Common Market – or the other traitorous tosspot John Major at Maastricht – we’re better off on our own again an’ re-industrialise - as Federation Europe goes down the proverbial swanee an’ we can all stand back an’ laugh our bollocks off at the mess.”

Harry McSkanger, CEO of Renta-Shack, informed the media “If we get saddled with this proposed 20% tax it’s going to have serious consequences for not only the building trade but the real estate market and kick the legs out from under the half-arsed initiatives this excuse of a coalition government has so far introduced to ensure at least 90% of the country’s population have a roof over their heads come winter.”

UK Treasury spokeswoman Fellattia van der Gamm, interviewed on Channel 69’s ever-popular primetime ‘Money Grubbing Twats’ programme, assured viewers that “The British voting public can rest assured that our Libservative Coalition government has no intention of kowtowing to Brussels’ draconian scheme to change the current zero-rate status of VAT on new-build homes to 20%. If we need to boost the Exchequer’s income then we’ll simply increase PAYE contributions and stick another few pence on fuel duty to rip the common herd off, as we usually do.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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