In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The UK’s contemptuous twat of an Ill-Health Secretary, Jeremy ‘Mr Fix-It’ Hunt, he of the smarmy, shit-eating grin and gormless, psychopath stare, whose unqualified arrogance places his exalted personage above the laws of the common herd, engaged in an on-air spat with the Beeb's Sticky Nicky Campbell concerning an exchange of controversial text messages between Posh Dave Scameron and News International’s disgraced former boss, the scandal-ridden, spouse-beating, ginger-mingin Rebekah Wade Brooks.
Hunt, the Tory Party’s token Morlock, who gained a certain notoriety as being a low-down influence-peddling prick (Gummer / BSkyB factors) while culture secretary, tried his hand at the art of ‘black spin’ distraction tactics by suggesting the 5 Live breakfast show presenter was exhibiting a ‘masturbation fantasy’ salacious interest in the content of the texts and asking "Why you feel it's necessary to read out the content of those texts – are you trying to get PM Scameron in trouble?"
Campbell replied that he believed there was public interest in any scandalous personal relationship between an incumbent Tory Prime Minister and the ex-CEO of Raving Rupert Murdoch’s crime syndicate media empire.
A fair point too, as perhaps the public interest might well reflect on Posh Dave Scameron’s actual ‘up close and confidential’ relationship with his weekend horseplay partner Rebekah Brooks, galloping around the paddocks at Chequers while Sammy’s left to do a headcount of the kids and see which ones they’ve left at the pub – then texting “Loved the weekend Rebekah – you’re just so fast, unpredictable and hard to control - but such fun to have a romp in the hay with.”
Knowing the moronic media-fixated mind of the common herd, there’s bound to be the usual perverse ‘public interest’ with Brooks’ involvement with the mass criminal wrong-doing at the Sunday Shitraker when she was editor-in-chief, and later CEO of the Mudrock’s News Corporation – and is personally under investigation by all three of the Met Plod Squad’s separate investigations – Operation Scumbag, Operation Tweeting and Operation Twat-Watch - which cover conspiracy, corruption of public officials, breach of trust, bribery and phone hacking.
To put the boot in, this same Metropolitan Plod Squad who are investigating Brooks’ alleged criminal involvement in these cases are the very same Met Plods who, under the aegis of Sir Ian Bliar, were the ones lending her ‘gift horses’ from their Mounted Plod unit’s knackers yard. Hmmm, anyone catch the stench of a conflict of interest?
Hence once again it comes back to the public interest factor – text messages between an incumbent Prime Minister and a previously ‘Untouchable’ Wicked Witch of the West gutter press media CEO mentioning ‘will love working together’ – when the latter has now been charged with graft and corruption – and especially considering her pugilistic past criminal form for domestic violence - inflicted on hapless Bell Enders hard case actor hubby Ross Kemp.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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