Political Rebel Nabbed for Telling Truth

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Members of Egypt's 11 million strong Coptic Christian community gathered outside St Mark's Cathedral in Cairo on Sunday, waiting in earnest to learn the name of their new Pope, as a blindfolded child selected the name of one of three candidates (two bishops and a monk) from a crystal bowl sat atop the altar – with the lucky winner set to succeed Pope Shenouda III, who croaked last March when his Pound Stretcher pacemaker batteries imploded while lying on a tanning parlour sunbed.
On a theological note, the concept of the names in a bowl placed upon the altar and the participation of a blindfolded catamite has nothing to do with priests and BD/SM games but rather lies with the belief that this is the actual ‘hand of God’ selecting His choice – and, as is His wont, moving in mysterious ways.

Now that, to all intents and purposes, seems a far more transparent – and honest - electoral process than shagging around with this dog and pony show of ballots in canvas booths at a local school or Methodist chapel, and some snidey twat counting them up at the end of the day – or the Great Satan’s dodgy Diebold machines, pre-programmed to declare the Zionist lobby’s choice of candidate as winner even before the election kicks off – and regardless of who votes for who.

Perhaps the idea of this neat Coptic concept actually working where real time corrupt politics are concerned is a Utopian wet dream, especially with all three of Broken Britain’s major political parties beholden to the shadowy, trans-national / para-governmental entity that calls the shots. Hence how can any of them – and this Libservative Coalition clusterfuck is a perfect case - represent the interests of the taxpaying voters when they’re indebted to the Fortune 500 index donors for funding - and their first constituency priority is to represent their corporate interests?

Thus if we don’t effect radical changes to the electoral system, then all will stay the same – and voters will continue to get a cob on and attempt to invoke some form of transformation in their own way – much as Guy Fawkes, acting with the best of intentions for the common herd at heart, attempted back in 1605 – and suffered greatly for his endeavours – unlike Stuart Rodger.

Mr Rodger, a 23-year old Glaswegian porridge wog with an insurrectionist bent, who hid in the Grand Central Hotel’s lobby toilet before bursting into a room where PM Austerity Dave Scameron was addressing the Strathclyde Masonic Nonces Society and shouted "No ifs, not buts, no public sector cuts!" – copped for a mere 100 hours of unpaid community service work for causing ‘fear and alarm’ to the Tory leader, who apparently suffered an involuntary bowel movement at the sight of the kilt-clad Rodger wielding a sporran stuffed with steaming haggis and referring to him as an ‘upper class tosser’ and a ‘Sassenach dog wanker’ before he was tasered by aides and dragged away screaming by a crew of Special Branch thugs.

During an appearance at Glasgow Sheriff Court, Rodgers, a former Lib-Dum political activist, admitted behaving like a twat, violating a security cordon, and daring to upset the Prime Minister with threatening and abusive behaviour by challenging the contradictions, lies, and inconsistencies in his narrative to the assembled Masons – then voiced the popular held truth that the Libservative Coalition was a total shambolic disaster – an action fellow radicals applauded and declared it was about time someone came out with it and called a spade ‘a spade’ – albeit in this instance Mr Rodger called the PM ‘a cunt’.

Rodger, the one-man-band leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Fife, was previously fined £200 quid for bombarding Deputy PM Nick Clegg with blue paint during a visit to Glasgow in August – and once again causing ‘fear and alarm’ to one of his social betters by shouting “Yer behavin’ like a blue-arsed Tory, yer tadger-suckin’ nonce, so yer might as well be painted like one.”

Whereas in direct contrast to Rodger’s views on the Prime Minister’s waffle and flannel oratorial, News International’s ginger-mingin ex-chief hacking guru, Rebekah ‘The Ranga’ Brooks, praised Scameron’s Tory party conference speech in 2009, claiming it’s emotive context was so passionate it made her cry. Hmmm, much as his ‘Big Society / We’re all in this together’ austerity measures have done for the rest of the common herd since the twat got into Downing Street in 2010

So with all this political correctness bullshit where no fucker or their dog can say ‘Booo!’ to a goose anymore without getting collared by the Plod Squad for causing ‘fear and alarm’ – how about our neo-colonial acts of military aggression in foreign lands causing ‘fear and alarm’ as some nasty twat from the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment attached to the Afghan army of occupation’s Operation Enduring Warfare lobs a grenade through a schoolroom window on the off chance it’s a hotbed of terrorist activity – or a UAV MQ-9 Reaper drone fires a couple of Shitehawk missiles at a provincial hospital or orphanage by mistake?

Fear and alarm? Forget it, that’s ‘acceptable collateral damage’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.