Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Scamden Council: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Okay, we all know who put the T in Britain and have a pretty good idea which Yorkshire joker slipped the word CUNT into Scunthorpe - but who are the ‘abuse of official power’ culprits on London’s Scamden Council and the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative who’ve capitalised the G in Graft and the C in Corruption?

Mrs Susan Vincent, a senior Scamden Labour councillor, has deservedly come in line for lashings of criticism after being parachuted into a ‘highly desirable’ central London residence in the theatre belt immediately following the eviction of a young family - against their wishes - by the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative - of which the council profile disclosure index clearly lists Ms Vincent as a ‘representative on the management’- even though the lying bitch disingenuously insists she is not a director and there is no conflict of interest.

Vincent, Scamden Council’s ‘Cabinet Member for the Environment’ and incumbent councillor for Holborn & Covent Garden, (until the next bi-election, that is), moved into the exclusive Covent Garden address shortly after the Harris family were evicted by bailiffs contracted from the Renta-Thug Security Agency by the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative.

Paul Harris, 28, his sister Diane, 25 and her 10-month-old son Tommy, were informed they had to leave the three storey house in Covent Garden following the death of their father after the association’s decision to invoke an appalling internal ‘right of succession’ policy.
The family, who lived in the house in the heart of London for 25 years, were told they had to ‘get out’ because a ‘succession’ had already occurred – specifically when their now-deceased parents were given a joint tenancy with a single succession - meaning the property could be passed on only once – which the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative claim occurred when Mr Harris’s wife died in 1997.

Following the death of Mr Harris Senior, his children were ordered to leave as Seven Shits maintained the singular grant of succession had already had occurred following the death of their mother – albeit they originally leased the property under a joint tenancy agreement.

In typical ‘jobsworth’ fashion, solicitors for the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative compelled the siblings, both single, unemployed and claiming housing benefit, to leave – under the moronic diktat of “there are many families in need of housing around Covent Garden". Hmmm, which now include Paul and Diane Harris – and her ten-month old son.

The new tenant was revealed to be none other than Mrs Susan Vincent, whose affluent financial circumstances enable her to send her daughter Sluttsy to the £14,000 a year City of London School for Privileged Brats.
Speaking to a gutter press hack from the Parasite’s Gazette, Councillor Vincent insisted she had nothing to do with the eviction of the now-homeless Harris family and threatened legal action when it was suggested her occupancy of such a desireable property in the Covent Garden theatre area of the city reeked of ‘conflict of interest’ with her being a director of the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative - or that she had been given preferential treatment.

Gnasher McScrunt, director of Ox-Rat, the government abuse watchdog charity, opined to one reporter from the Daily Scandalmonger that “Here we have yet another example of an abusive bureaucrat, possessed by unqualified arrogance an’ wiv her snout and trotters firmly in the trough. This elitist fraternity of local government officials and their absurd sense of entitlement makes me spew – like the case of this other bottom feeding scumbag on Slumborough Hamlets Council wot’s just bin done in court fer fiddlin’ his expenses an’ buyin’ a £2,000 quid Jimmy Choo-Choo designer train set fer his six-year old son’s birthday out of taxpayer’s funds.”

“Wot it sez on the Seven Shits Housing Co-operative’s website describes themselves as “a mutual society tradin’ fer the benefit of the community under the Industrial and Provident Societies Act 1965 – and wot upholds its purpose of housing local families in need in permanent, managed and short life housin”.
“Well, somethin’s fucked up when they sez that an’ kicks the Harris’s out after their family’s bin livin’ there fer 25 years - and then lets one of their own directors – this ‘representative on the management’ – or whatever the fuck she calls herself - move in.”
“Then the sanctimonious slag has the audacity ter say: “Yes, I can see that some people would look at this and conclude that there is something untoward going on, some conflict of interest - but the reality is not like that. I had nothing do with the allocation of the house.”

“Just have a butcher’s at wot her council declaration of interests sez.: “I, Councillor Sue Vincent, a member of the London Borough of Camden, give notice that I have the following personal interests.”
“I am a member or in a position of general control or management of the following body/ies directed to charitable purposes: The Seven Shits Housing Co-operative”.

“So here yer have it - someone wot can afford ter lash out £14,000 nicker a year ter send their kid ter a private school is entitled ter social housin’ Que – excuse me - how the fuck can a person wiv this income and position be allowed ter move inter high end social housing owned by a co-op wot she’s a director of. It’s not effin’ rocket science is it – cos summat stinks in Denmark and it isn’t Hamlet’s socks.”

Thought for the day. Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 250,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Councillor Vincent or her condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a synod of unemployed and homeless peasants that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


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