Sunday, 3 April 2011

Koran Burning Kick Starts Holy War

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Talk about the ‘Butterfly Effect’ – some redneck pastor with the moniker of Wayne Slopp from Dorkford in Moron County, Florida, burns a copy of the Koran and Muslims world-wide rise up in protests, launch a Jihad and lay waste to the Pestco Greedy Grocer’s ‘Extra’ branch in Kabul, Afghanistan and make a total fuck up of the weekend shopping excursion.

The topic of Koran burning stirred outrage among zillions of Muslims and others worldwide in 2010 after the Rev. Billy Bob Fuckwit, pastor of the ‘Apocalyspe Outreach Center Church’ threatened to destroy a copy of the Islamic holy book on the ninth anniversary of the Israeli Mossad’s September 11th false flag terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre towers and Pentagon.

However, bending to domestic political pressures and the threat of legal repercussions, the shit-for-brains Pastor Fuckwit backed down but the Church of Maritreya the Anti-Christ in Scumville, Florida went through with the ritualised cremation of the Muslim Holy Book on April Fool’s Day.
A crowd of mix and match racists, religious bigots, jingoists and fundamentalist shitbags attended a mock trial staged by the church on April 1st as part of the "Let’s Piss the Muslims Off - International Judge the Koran Day."

The church's anti-Islamic website stated that after a ten minute kangaro court hearing, the Koran was found guilty of charges of heretic apostasy and a copy was burned in the church barbeque pit – then the smouldering ashes urinated on by members of the male congregation – and Ms Bev Titwank who has apparently re-mastered the lost female art of pissing while standing upright.

Pastor Slopp, interviewed by a reporter from the Misanthropists Gazette, argued that he wasn’t responsible for inciting the violent demonstrations at Pestco in Kabul.
"Our aim was to raise awareness of this heathen religion and the dangerous element its radical worshippers present to the Christian West – having the gall and audacity to label America as the ‘Great Satan’ and harbouring hatred of our democratic freedoms – such as the God-given right to eat pork chops and bacon and shave every day - and have a foreskin attached to your cock – so this attack on the Zionist-owned Greedy grocer store just serves to demonstrate how violent these Muslims really are.”

Following Pastor Slopp’s burning of the Koran and the ritualised pissing on the ashes follow-up, all of which was posted on YouTube within the hour of it occuring and broadcast on Afghan television’s daytime ‘Sectarian Hatred’ channel following Friday prayers, a howling mob of unwashed bearded hairies surged through the streets of Kabul chanting "They have insulted our Koran" and "Death to America".
The rampaging rabble then targeted the Pestco supermarket on Ras al Nastygit Street to vent their wrath – consigning whole trolley-loads of tinned Spam and pork scratchings - and the entire contents of the booze section - to a bonfire in the store’s car park – along with the clothing department’s stock of ‘Naughty Naziri’ see-through burkhas.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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