Kikesters Now Running Kidnap International

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a customary display of unqualified ZioNazi kikester chutzpah and total disregard for the statutes of International Law – to say nothing of the strictures of ‘polite society’ - the Israeli Prime Minister Bobo Nuttyahoo, a congenital meshuggenah, has, with his habitual brazen hubris, admitted that Tel Aviv’s intelligence (sic) services were responsible for kidnapping the missing Palestinian engineer, Mr Dirar Abu Sisi, while he was on family business in the Ukraine.

Yep, that’s correct – the Ukraine - a sovereign state that has no common border with Israel – or any existing diplomatic protocol between the two nations in force that allows Mossad’s homicidal maniacs to enter the country disguised as art students - or hi-fiving furniture removals men - and kidnap foreign visitors.

"He is being held in detention in Israel. It is a legal arrest," the psychopathic Nuttyahoo was quoted as saying during an interview with the Hasbara Gazette on Wednesday – a wholly illogical statement immediately seized upon and challenged by Amnesty International and Ox-Rat, the human rights and wrongs abuse watchdog charities.

Bazzer McTwatt, chairman of Ox-Rat, interviewed on BBC 2’s ‘Hypocrisy Hour’ programme, commented “What a set of all-round villainous bastards. Their nutty Knesset’s petitioning the UK’s idiotic Libservative coalition government – well, the Tory party ‘Friends of Israel Club’ of which most of the cabinet and MP’s are members and beholden to the Rothshite crime syndicate’s patronage – to radically alter the procedure for getting an International Arrest Warrant issued so their scrote war criminal politicians and ranking military officers can travel to Britain without fear of arrest - then they go and snatch an innocent bloke out of a foreign country and illegally kidnap him and toss him in an Israel jail. These scumbags are fast, cheap and out of control – totally delinquent”

“Further, the racist pondscum running the Knesset and the IDF are in continual breach international humanitarian law regarding their imprisonment of the population of the Gaza Strip behind this 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall and their naval blockade of their coastal area – plus the occupation of the West Bank and their illegal settlements. The Israelis are guilty of all these crimes – and more - under Articles 23, 53 and 55 of the Hague Regulations; Articles 51 and 53 of the 4th Geneva Conventions; and Article 8(2)(b) of the Rome Statue of the International Criminal Court."

Colonel Olga Pissedoffsky, a spokeswoman for the Ukrainian Interior Ministry, informed a press hack from the Pondscum Review that Mr Abu Sisi was kidnapped by kikester agents on February 19th after boarding a train in the eastern city of Kharkiv bound for the capital Kiev, where he was applying for citizenship.

Mrs Veronika Abu Sisi, the Ukrainian-born wife of the kidnapped Palestinian, explained to a reporter from the Kikesters Chronicle that according to a statement made by the train conductor, Shaggar Ochel Batachat, two hours after the train's departure several shifty ‘Shylock types’ came inside the carriage and escorted her husband off the train with a black bag over his head when it stopped at H'atifat-Adam station.
“I ask them what they are doing to Mr Sisi and they say we are playing a game of Blind Man’s Bluff and give me a bunch of 50 grivna notes to fuck off and keep my gob shut.”

Mr Abu Sisi was the engineering manager at the Gaza Strip's main power plant, and speculation is linking his abduction to Israel's intent to sabotage the work of the only power generation unit in the illegally-beseiged Palestinian enclave.

Mr Ras al Nastygit, the official spokesman for Hamas, condemned the abduction and demanded the engineer's release – stating for the public record “This kidnapping violates international law and the Ukraine's sovereignty. It is further proof of the contempt of the outlaw Israeli government for the international community – which is because they have the Zionist-dominated United States global bully backing up their every illegal move and making excuses for them.”

The Knesset’s Minister for Ethnic Cleansing, Shmok ben Slimeberg, a former kosher matzo vender, in a typical perverted display of Israeli ‘Schadenfreude’ - laughing and rejoicing at another’s misfortune - informed Pox News that the Palestinian engineer would be indicted next week on charges of designing and building a fleet of armoured Segway personal mobility scooters for Hamas’ Gaza Gangsters to attack Israeli troops with and kick start their planned Third Intifada.

Did you ever get kidnapped by Mossad while travelling abroad? Has your passport been cloned by one of God’s chosen people? Do you think the Ukraine might need to tighten up its immigration departure procedures?

Send us your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a fortnight’s vacation at the ‘Happy Transplant Organ Donor Kibbutz’, conveniently located right next door to the downtown Galilee cemetary.

Thought for the day: Oh well, perhaps a slight improvement from tasking Mossad’s moronic homicidal maniacs to go off on murdering sprees around Dubai hotels and getting their amateur arses recorded on CCTV every step of the way.

Oh, and by the by, fuck the rogue state of Israel and their ZioNazi New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.