Friday, 22 April 2011

Malaysia’s ‘Gay Tolerance’ Scores Zero

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to Ms Mingeeter Dildodo, Malaysia’s Minister for Political Correctness, personally narrated to a reporter from the Poof Bashers Gazette, draws focus on a Spartan martial style camp set up by the Department of Education to correct the effeminate behaviour of Muslim schoolboys – which she claims violates the law and should be abolished forthwith.

Sixty-nine juvenile boys from St Sodoms School for Latter Day Fudgers, aged between 13 and 17, and identified by teachers as ‘budding shemales’ due their feminine mannerisms and predilection for wearing mascara and lipstick, trying on girl’s clothes and sitting down to pee, began a stern regime of counselling this week at Camp Kai-Tai in the Genting Highlands rainforest to discourage them from turning into transvestites or raving faggots.

The students have been mandated to undergo four weeks of religious and physical education to guide them back to a proper path in life – such as attending their local Mosque madrassa’s Jihad courses and training to become a shaheed Semtex suicide vest terrorist bomber alike the revered Muslim martyr, Mohammed al Ka-Boom - and not have other men's cocks stuck up their arseholes – or be providing suck n swallow blow jobs.

Conversely, Minister Dildodo believes this is yet another typical example of Islamic dogma and intolerance, and that singling out these children based on perceived feminine mannerisms is traumatising and harmful to their mental health – plus the entire essence of the camp violates Malaysia’s Child Act, which protects children without prejudice and allows them a certain degree of self-determination.

How much of a degree of self-determination is argued by the Education Secretary, Mr Liwat Pondan. “If we allow any digression from the accepted norms of our Muslim society the next thing we’re going to end up the same as the corrupt and decadent West – alcoholics, rug-munching lesbians, turd-burgling arse bandits, drug addicts and Catholic paedo’ priests. Now all that type of perversion might be acceptable in the United States of the Great Satan or Amsterdam or Hamburg or Marseille or London – but not in downtown Kuala Lumpur and under the strict edicts of Sharia law.”

“Hence we intend to nip this kind of errant sexual behaviour in the bud or the next thing they’re going to be into these breast-enhancing female hormones and growing boobs and performing fellatio on other boys and allowing themselves to be buggered – then they’re taking out bank loans so they can afford transgender surgery and have a woman’s pussy. This is not the image we wish to portray to the world that half the male population of Malaysia are shirt lifters and closet banjies (ladyboys).”

Rupert Pukimak Kau, director of the gay rights group ‘Iron Hoof Pride’ also jumped on the publicity bandwagon, but to criticise the measure, saying it promotes homophobia in the Muslim-majority country - where gay sex is still illegal anyway and poofters face discrimination from government policies - such as the hypocritical legal statute that makes sodomy – between men - punishable by 20 years in prison (oh yes, a sodomite’s paradise) – but no such criminal statute exists to punish a man who gives his girl friend or wife a stiffy up the back passage and she ends up constipated for the next week.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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