Sunday, 10 April 2011

EUSSR Ban on GM / Cloned Crap Nixed

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Negotiations at the EUSSR’s HQ in Brussels to design a strategy for policing farming and food processing industries that produce cloned and genetically-modified foods, have gone tits up in a Busby Berkeley spectacular fashion after it emerged that elements of the incumbent British Government and the European Commission have sabotaged efforts to regulate and label the controversial ‘Frankenfoods’ and manky ‘Mutant Meals’.

The Libservative coalition government’s representation, led by Caroline Spelman - the ginger-mingin Secretary of State for the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - was at the head of the vanguard of assassins whose nefarious efforts peremptorily snuffed any and all attempts at regulation within the European Union’s 27 member states – with the resulting free-for-all situation that meat and milk from the offspring of cloned animals could, within months, go onto the supermarket shelves across Broken Britain without any form of labelling informing consumers they might end up looking like Blinky the Fish if they eat or drink the toxic DNA-bending shite.

Britain’s Food Standards Agency had declared it illegal to sell any form of produce from clones or the offspring of clones – a policy that will now, thanks to Spelman’s self-interest lobbying, change.
However, the UK’s biggest Greedy Grocer supermarket chains: Pestco, Pukesburys, Mammon & Snobfords and Shiterose, have pledged to keep meat and milk from cloned farm animals and their offspring off the shelves.

Ms Candida Fuctifino, of the British Retail Consortium which speaks for all the major stores, informed one reporter from the Mutants Gazette that while there was no existing evidence the food wasn’t safe, public opinion is dead set against consuming it.
She went on to quote the Vatican’s stance on the GM and cloned foods issue, which stands in agreeance with that of the Holy Bible – which states quite clearly, without ambiguity, that such foods are a ‘chimera’ – an abomination in the eyes of God – just the same as homosexuality and blokes shagging other blokes.

Caroline Spelman, the Tory Environment Minister, led the moves in Brussels to sabotage attempts to regulate or label food from clones and their descendants – with commission officials joining her in arguing that such controls could provoke a trade war with Washington – while the majority of MEPs, on the other hand, shouted “Fuck Washington!” and informed press hacks that the views of ordinary people had been sacrificed to satisfy U.S. trade interests instead of declaring a complete and comprehensive ban or a defined policy to impose clear labelling statutes.

Hmmm, well, so much for the Conservative’s ‘honest-labelling’ flagship food policy that they boasted of while in Opposition. One of the hallmarks of Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron’s leadership before he moved into Downing Street was his attachment to the green agenda – stressing our responsibility to the environment and the need for sustainable farming – and declaring for the public record such pledges as “We will not permit any commercial planting of genetically modified crops until and unless it has been assessed as safe for people and the environment” - and “We will promote honesty in food labelling”.

Yet another fractured fairy tale – one more broken campaign trail promise. For fuck’s sake – how do you know when Scameron or Clogg are lying? Their lips move!

As to the ginger mingin Caroline ‘Nannygate’ Spelman - the zillionaire Tory MP for West Midden in the Black Country – this is the self-same cretin who dreamed up the moronic – and too criminal – scheme to sell off our sceptred isle’s beloved and iconic forests to private interests such as the Sahara Forest Trading Company and Pikey Pete’s Firewood Emporium.

Now, a pertinent question needs to be posed – does any conflict of interest arise here – especially so considering the blatant fact that Spelman’s hubby Mork is a senior partner at Accenture plc – a global consulting – read ‘lobbying’ – corporation whose clients include Elanco / Eli Lilly, Calgene, Monsanto, Syngenta, Showa Denko, Zeneca, - the bio-technology GM foodstuff / cloning majors responsible for the production of Chimera Crops, Insta-Tumour Frankenfoods and manky Mutant Meals.

Anyways, let’s just say bollocks to Spelman and her ilk for five and take a look at the GM / Cloning Bio-Tech cabals – and start off with everyone’s pet hate: Monsanto - globally notorious as eco-criminals for decades through their manufacture of the deadly Agent Orange carcinogenic defoliant that did so much to fuck up the DNA and immune systems of not only the Viet-Cong but also the US troops who were deployed in the same jungle areas of combat – and too the populations living around the plants where the toxic shit was produced in the US.

Next we have their Roundup Ready herbicide – whose main active ingredients are the isopropylamine salt of glyphosate and the surfactant ‘POEA’ (polyethoxylated tallow amine), which is known for its toxicity in wildlife (oh yes, including humans) due increased herbicide penetration in plant and animal cells - and is also directly responsible along with a horde of like pesticides for decimating the world’s bee populations – both domesticated and wild – into the current near extinction event scenario.

Then we come to the FDA-approved ‘Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone’ (rBGH - also known as Bovine Somatotropin, or BST) - a genetically engineered copy of a naturally-occurring hormone – developed by Monsanto as ‘Prosilac’ and marketed by Elanco (a division of Eli Lilly) – that not only fucks up a cow’s metabolisms but also that of humans – unnecessary hormones playing havoc with your kid's DNA.

Still on the dangers of genetically-modified crap, in 1989 dozens of Americans died and several thousands were afflicted and impaired with EMS (Eosinophilia Myalgia Syndrome) through short-term ingestion of a genetically-modified version of the food supplement L-tryptophan – approved by the perennially-corrupt FDA - with a court-directed settlement of $2 billion dollars paid out by Showa Denko, Japan’s third largest bio-tech’ company, and responsible for the calamity.

So, if Spelman approves of GM and cloned Frankefoods, let her feed the crap to her manky kids and fuck up their DNA and they can all end up looking like Blinky the Fish.
Well, we certainly can’t cure stupid, but we can vote it out of office – and the clock’s running for this shower of shit currently infesting Downing Street and the House of Conmans – and especially so for the moronic Ms Spelman.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Thought for the day: History has many records of crimes against humanity, which were justified by dominant commercial interests and governments of the day- yet despite protests from the herd of sheeple that comprise the voting public, social justice for the common good was eroded in favour of private profits.

Today the questionable patenting of life forms and the genetic engineering which it stimulates is being justified on the fallacious grounds it will benefit society, especially the poor, by providing improved foods and harvests and medicines. However, by monopolising the raw biological materials via patent law strategy, the development of other options is deliberately blocked – with farmers thus forced into total dependency on these sinister corporations for seeds.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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