Monday, 4 April 2011

Media Talking Heads Brain-Nuked

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A bizarre outbreak of television’s mindless media presenters and bubble-headed celeb’s dissolving into on-air gibberish has kick started feverish speculation and rumours around the shadowy enclaves of the online conspiracy websites that the US intelligence (sic) service and military might just be responsible.

In several high-profile cases, the latest involving celebrity motor mouth Judge Judy, presenters have started off speaking coherently but have then descended into undecipherable gibberish – appearing even more confused and unstable than usual, which has spurred speculation they’re either victims of angelic - or demonic - possession and speaking in tongues – or they’ve overdone whatever they were popping or snorting just prior to going on the air and blown a cerebral fuse.

The increasing frequency of these strange occurrences - or 'attacks' as WickedLeaks has labelled them - and the fact that recorded instances of the mental meltdowns have been posted on websites such as YouTube - has led to conspiracy theorists pointing the finger at sinister government experiments – with the most popular hypothesis being circulated online blaming the Illuminati’s military-industrial shadow government cabal of using focused-beam microwaves as a mind control weapon.

While the ZioNazi pondscum running the US military will never admit conducting such research – just the same as they deny using their HAARP arrays to cause earthquakes and floods - proponents claim the effects produced by microwave signals stimulating the brain with fake images and voices exactly mimic those displayed in the recent on-air mental and verbal coherence breakdowns in the stricken presenters – all triggered by TIA - transient ischiamic attacks - induced via directed microwave beams.

As to the reasons why the Pentagon are targeting US television presenters, the conspiracy theorists are unanimous – with WickedLeaks chief rapist Julian Blancmange opining to the Daily Shitraker “These people are targeted when they have some controversial point on their broadcast agenda which the powers that be consider outrageous and a threat to their credibility and continued position – such as ”What’s this Kenyan guy doing in the White House?”- and “What the fuck are we doing in Libya – is it all about blood for oil again?” – or “Why are we supplying Israel with arms to snuff Palestinian civilians?” – plus questions concerning who was really responsible the bombing of the FBI’s Oklahoma Murrah Building – or announcing new evidence that the Israelis really did do 9/11 – or it was MI5 who gave Dr David Kelly a helping hand with his assisted suicide in the Grassy Knoll Woods – then helped Mossad blow up the three tube trains and the bus on 7/7.”

CNN’ s ‘Soundbite Sally’ McSkank fell victim to the ‘gibberish curse’ last month when she started to pontificate about the HAARP-induced earthquake in Haiti and the ensuing illegal US military occupation of the island – perpetuating the eternal agenda of imperial revenge upon its people.
Pox News presenter Fellattia van der Gamm suffered an even worse fate when what meagre portion of brain she was blessed with splattered the studio walls when her head exploded during an on-air Q and A session with theoretical physicist Dr Judy Wood concerning the type of ‘Hutchison Effect’ directed energy weapon used to cause molecular dissociation and atomise the WTC 1 and 2 Towers concrete to talcum powder constituency on 9/11.

CBS talking head and radical lesbian rights activist Mingeeter Dildodo, renowned for her precise oratory and expansive vocabulary, went into verbal garbage mode recently during an interview when the subject matter turned to a 1970’s Gladys Gorgon & the Grottmeisters concert in Arkansas where she and feminist authoress Titsy Trollenberg engaged in an all-night ménage à trois 'dirty dyke' strapon clusterfuck session with the US Secretary of State, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, al fresco style in the notorious Doggers Wood shagfest area of the Mena Memorial Park.
Mingeeter was just getting to the ‘juicy bits’ about Clinton’s double penetration fetish when her hair started smouldering and she suddenly keeled over and suffered a fatal epileptic seizure.

The latest to be stricken down in mid-sentence was Judith Scumstein, the fast-talking know-all star of the Judge Judy Show, during a live recording of her courtroom pantomime after she began jabbering away in some unintelligible gobbledegook

Studio insiders revealed that Scumstein, who earns what banksters term as ‘lots and lots of money’ for a show that is the most watched programme on American daytime TV, was on camera and transgressed the unwritten rule by having the audacity to dare to criticise God's Chosen People and started to denounce Israel’s barbaric ethnic cleansing and the war crimes committed against the Palestinian people and their continued defiance of international law – then went into cuckoo mode, saying things that didn’t make any sense – such as “I’m a teapot” – and clucking like some broody hen.

The show’s producer, Billy Bob Fuctifino, related that “Old ginger-mingin’ Judge Judy suffered an extreme ‘blonde moment’ then went into total blabberwocky mode and started spouting even more gibberish and verbal diarrhoea than she usually does.”

Apparently Scumstein then collapsed and was carted off to the prestigious Ze’ev Jabotinsky Memorial Clinic for Latter Day Kikesters in an ambulance, where doctors performed emergency brain surgery - only to discover her entire cerebral mass has the constituency of a soft boiled egg and smelled like dogshit.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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