Thursday, 7 April 2011

NATO Adopt ‘Humanitarian Warfare’ Strategy

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

As if the sanguine conflict in Libya isn’t yet another perfect example of order into chaos and more fucked up than a soup sandwich already as it, alike Iraq and Afghanistan before, descends into the dreaded quagmire stage, the NATO Commander who now finds himself reluctantly in charge of the US implemented blood n guts clusterfuck, the snap-frozen Canuck Lt. Gen. Charlie Bouchard, spit the proverbial dummy and actually threatened the pro-democracy rebels on Tuesday, stating for the war crimes evidence record that NATO fighter aircraft would start attacking them too if they didn’t cease and desist from their adopted policy of shooting at the Great Satan's planes and killing civilians who disagreed with their intent and purpose.

This was evidenced earlier today when a patrol of the anti-Gadaffi rebel militia on the outskirts of Ras al Scrote decided it would be good sport and a bit of a laugh to target an overhead flight of NATO / US F-16 jet fighters, piloted by gung-ho American homicidal maniacs, with a few rounds of anti-aircraft fire – which unfortunately elicited a response of several Shitehawk missiles coming back in their general direction – along with thousands of rounds of GE M61A1 20mm heavy machine gun fire – wiping out a nice round baker’s dozen of their unwashed mangy ranks.

NATO spokeswoman Major Fellattia Titwank, a former welfare officer at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib Prison, reiterated this sentiment, announcing that they intend to apply the Security Council mandate right across the board – specifically UN Resolution 1973 that the ZioNazi US-led coalition of belligerents used to justify attacking Libya to enforce a no-fly zone and get their snouts stuck into yet another campaign of PNAC neo-imperial aggression to gain control of the nation’s natural resources.

This specious tactic, through the application of tip-toe deceits, has now extended to the Western forces declaring war on the sovereign state’s Parliamentary government and military forces to expedite the overthrow of the country’s titular head honcho, Muammar al-Gaddafi, who, for all his Messianic eccentricities and faults can at least claim with honesty that he is legitimately entitled to be the nation’s leader by right of the fact he possesses a genuine birth certificate proving he’s a Libyan citizen – born and bred – unlike the Kenyan-Indonesian Muslim cuckoo – Mr ‘Hope & Change’ - currently squatting in the US White House who was responsible for fomenting the UN-sanctioned military actions against Libya.

Conversely, since the onus for the developing clusterfuck has now been passed on to NATO, Bouchard is adopting a strategy of ‘humanitarian warfare’ to be imposed equally on both the rebel and government forces – the mechanics of which Major Titwank explained and clarified for one reporter from the Warmongers Gazette.
“This is the only way we can keep it fair and on a politically correct humanitarian level. We did intend to send in a team of Red Cross auditors last Friday to expedite a series of comprehensive health and safety checks around the various battle fronts for illegal use of land mines and depleted uranium – however, as it was April 1st nobody took the proposal seriously and though it was a huge joke.”

“So, what NATO High Command is now proposing is that if the sneaky US and Israelis smuggle in any more arms and infiltrate mercenary troops to support the rebel militias then we have to offset this advantage by allowing the government forces unimpeded use of their tanks and heavy artillery – and perhaps a few helicopter gunships.”

NATO’s ‘oxymoronic’ humanitarian warfare plan has now been endorsed by the US government, with the theomorphic Barky O’Barmy jumping up in front of his personalised digital ‘Hope n Change’ teleprompter to issue a live ‘newsgasm’ approving of this novel ‘selective intervention’ doctrine.

Regardless, this is unlikely to be applied across the board - unless NATO’s warplanes intend to attack each other if one accidentally bombs the shit out of some item of civilian infrastructure (mosque, church, hospital, orphanage) causing yet another incident of ‘permissible collateral damage’ as evidenced in Tripoli last week – and in Afghanistan on a daily basis.

Though UN Resolution 1973 was initially designed to propose and enact a no-fly zone it also contained some ambiguous loose language about selective intervention and protecting the hapless civilian population. Amnesty International and Ox-Rat, the human rights and wrongs watchdog charities, have now seized on this ‘selective intervention’ doctrine factor to demand the UN apply the same dpolicy to the massacre of pro-democracy demonstrators in Bahrain, currently being slaughtered in their droves by imported Saudi Arabian military thugs from the kingdom’s notoriously brutal 21st Red Gingham Tea Towel Regiment.

So, we ponder, can this selective intervention doctrine promoting an idiotic policy of humanitarian warfare ever gain credence and work when the intent of Zionist Euro-American hegemony means crushing the aspirations of all Arabs in the sand and seizing control of their natural resources and strategic locations.

Thought for the day: This UN / NATO selective intervention doctrine didn’t really work with the Hutsies and the Tootsies in that infamous East African Third World shithole Rwanda when the Hutsie President Wormhole Jaffacake decided it might be good sport to hold a Machete Massacre ethnic cleansing extravaganza and snuff several zillion of the Tootsie tribal competition to celebrate National Genocide Month.

Much the same as the civil war state of affairs now rearing its ugly head in the Ivory Coast capital of Abidjan – yet another Third World cesspit of graft and corruption run by despotic kleptocrats – and whose only saving graces are the facts they have massive offshore reserves of low sulphur Marmite - estimated to exceed 40 billion barrels - and serve a nice cup of cocoa.

However, fuck the Project for a New American Century and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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