Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Prince Harry may be Stripped of Title

British Royal Cuckoo Prince Harry is still the toast of the Big Apple this week.
Throngs of unemployed peasants have lined the streets of Manhattan to greet Britain’s popular pisshead prince with open arms – and in the ladies’ case – also open legs.

Little do they realize that ginger minger Harry could soon be stripped of his royal title because it’s quickly becoming widespread public knowledge he’s not the biological son of bat-eared weirdo Prince Charles, an investigation undertaken by the Daily Shitraker has revealed.

A longtime employee of Harry’s mother Princess Diana, who wishes to remain anonymous (Candida Twatrot) claims that the Royal Family was involved in a massive coverup to hide the fact that Diana’s ex lover James ‘SuperCad’ Hewitt is Harry’s real ranga-haired father.

According to the source, genocidal maniac and fascist serial killer Prince Philip threatened Hewitt’s life if he didn’t go along with the coverup.
“Phil the Greek told Hewitt he would personally see him chopped up for corgi snacks if the truth ever leaked out.”

Candida, who is currently collaborating on yet another ‘Diana’ book - with ex-butler Paul Buttprodder - for Rumour Mill Publishing’s ‘Scandal Press’ editions, further revealed “It’s impossible that Charles is Harry’s real father. Hewitt was on the scene as Diana’s lover two years before Harry was born.”
“Diana stopped having sex with her bat-eared clot of a husband years before she got preggers with Harry. Just take a look at the little ranga twat and then Hewitt – both ginger mingas with pointy faces like a pair of sneaky shithouse rats.”

The massive coverup involved Hewitt lying to every bugger and their dog about when his dalliance with Diana actually began. Originally he told the press he met Diana in 1986 – and Harry was born in 1984.

Under hypnosis for a television interview Hewitt admitted he met Diana in 1981 and gave her a regular bonking for years before – and after - Harry was born – as Di’ was horny as all hell and Charlie was off rolling about in the compost – naked and al fresco fashion - with pseudo-aristocratic renta-slag Dragonella Parker-Bowles.

A relative of James Hewitt confided to the Daily Shitraker that Diana told Hewitt he was Harry’s dad but has denied it due Phil the Greek’s threats on his life.
“Bloody hell, Harry should call James his real father,” the relative continued.
“Fer Christ’s sake, yer don’t need any of that hi-tech DNA testing – it’s effin’ obvious that old bat-ears Charlie’s his Dad.”

If Harry is stripped of his Royal ‘Prince’ title he will then be eligible to sign on as unemployed at the local job centre and apply for Jobseekers Allowance – and then see if he can afford to continue his West End night club carousing until the early hours on £60 per week.

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