BNP Press Conference Turns into Omelette Fiasco

Nick Thugarotti, North-West England’s current Anti-Christ and the leader of the far-right skinhead and scally-infested British National Party, was forced to abandon a press conference yesterday when he was ambushed by protesters outside the House of Conmans.

Thugarotti and his colleague Arthur Wogtwatter, who were elected to the European Parliament last week, were pelted with dozens of double-yolk eggs and chased down the street by more than 5,000 anti-fascism protesters chanting: “Off our streets yer Nazi scumbags!”

Violent tussles erupted with the Peace in Our Time Party and the Unite Against Fascism Party fighting with Thugarotti’s bodyguards and other BNP scumbags.
One passer-by on a bike told Pox News that he had been run over by a bulldozer driven by a BNP supporter.

The Metropolitan Police said that it was investigating the road collision as well as allegations of common assault and allegations of hard boiled egg throwing.

Two people, one of whom was a grandma in her nineties, were taken to hospital although their condition was not considered serious by open warfare classification of battlefield injuries.

Thugarotti, who was elected as the North West MEP after a total collapse in public confidence of voting Labour last week, described the protest as “disgraceful” and said that he had every right to hold press conferences and voice his racist opinions – even if they did advocate kicking out immigrants and anyone born with a suntan.

Despite accusations that his party is Fascist and a bunch of violent scallie cunts, Mr Thugarotti is likely to use his European platform to claim political legitimacy – much as Hitler and the Nazis did in the 1930’s Germany.

The protesters said that Thugarotti, who has a conviction for inciting racial hatred and presides over the BNP’s whites-only membership policy, had duped the 940,000 brain dead British peasants who voted for the party.

Ronnie Cruddass, Labour MP for Barking and newly-appointed cabinet Minister for Small Dogs, told the Daily Shitraker that the protesters had played into the BNP’s hands by “reinforcing their sense of victimhood as a bona fide political party - even if they were a bunch of cunts."

One BNP skinhead insider who wished to remain anonymous (Jack McTwat) told Pox News “Old Thugarotti’s fuckin’ fumin’ that ‘e got pelted wiv a shower of dark brown eggs that still ‘ad the whites mixed wiv the yellow bits.”

“‘E reckons it’s all a Zionist Yid plot cos of ‘is Holohoax denial stance – peltin’ ‘im wiv eggs that ‘adn’t ‘ad the yolks separated from der whites first.”