Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Is Charlie Windsor a Sponging Git?

British taxpayers involuntarily funded the opulent and ostentatious lifestyle of the bat-eared Prince of Wales to the tune of £30 million last year - an annual rise of almost 25% in the midst of a global recession, according to Clarence House accounts.

The main cost was a 48% rise in official travel by air and rail, which increased to £10:75 million.
Charles travelled more than 50,000 miles to attend 658 official engagements during his 60th birthday year – collecting presents, shaking hands with Third World despots and quaffing vintage booze - which is pretty tough going for any party animal – hangover’s excluded.

Charles's private income increased by a paltry 1% - to £16.4 million during the last financial year – more than your average council Asbo housing estate of British peasant stock families – in total - will earn in a lifetime – and Charlie still has to sponge off the taxpayer?

Radical anti-Monarchist campaign group ‘Parasites Out’ - which is pressing for a summer of ‘Revolutionary Regicide’ - has called on the government to stop funding his extravagant lifestyle - publicly questioning with regard to Charles’ wife’s addictive bad habits - “Why the fuck are we paying for that old slag Dragonilla’s stinkin’ ciggies, bottles of gin and wrinkle filler?”

Charlie’s senior aide, Sir Morton Scrunt, said the rise in official travel costs was due to long-haul trips to the Far East and South America.
“Good God, we can’t have the next King of England dossing down at some poxy flea-infested squat or the local YMCA in Rio or Madras. Top notch five star hotels cost five star prices.”

The annual financial review suggests the Prince helped to raise £25 in support of his core charities through a car boot sale – flogging off his old cardigans and back copies of the Blue Blood Mutant’s Monthly Review.

A keen environmental campaigner, Prince Charles also presided over a substantial cut in carbon emissions at Clarence House during the year to April.
Fossil fuel use was reduced by 15%, the report said, when a halt was called to the felling of oak trees for firewood and the gardening staff’s insta-meals replaced with recycled low cholesterol compost salads.

In the year to April, the surplus generated by the Duchy of Cornwall - the ten thousand acre landed estate given to the heir to the throne by his Mum - increased by only £85 million – mainly through the sale of their organic Duchy Originals high grade rhubarb.

The accounts reveal £6.2 million went on staff salaries and security, £650,000 on his gardens and more than £5 million on official entertaining and receptions – including the running and maintenance of the estate’s Happy Haddock fish and chip shop.

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