Thursday, 18 June 2009

Benefit Cheat Impersonates Dead Mother

A New York man has been arrested for impersonating his dead mother in order to claim $415,000 in social security benefits and rent subsidies – and get a regular endorphin-boosting transgender experience high.

Seymour Slimeberg, 49, is accused by prosecutors of regularly dressing up in a wig, two-piece and pearls, and make-up in order to ‘look like Mummy’ and fool the authorities.

The alleged scam has been going on ever since Mr Slimeberg’s mother, Miriam Slimeberg, died after accidentally cutting her throat while shaving in 2001 - at the age of 96.

Slimeberg, a former doorknob polisher, faces charges of grand larceny, forgery, conspiracy to defraud and criminally impersonating his mother with intent to deceive.

Wearing heavy make-up, false boobs, stick-on varicose veins and using a walking stick and fake ID - and accompanied by a man posing as Mrs Slimeberg’s nephew Sheldon - Mr Slimeberg would, according to prosecutors, collect benefit checks, visit banks and even attend weekly meetings at the Jewish Mothers Guild to conjure up semi-legitimate reasons to exterminate the Palestinians and bomb Iran.

When Mrs Slimeberg died her son Seymour is accused of furnishing the funeral director with a tampered death certificate, a false social security number and date of birth so that Mummy’s mortal expiry would not show up in government records.

He is then alleged to have started claiming $7000 a month in social security benefits in her name on top of his own dodgy claim for false disability benefits.

Slimeberg has also been accused of filing for bankruptcy in his mother's name, and then collecting $139,000 in rent subsidies from the numpty city government’s Housing Support Authority.

Another man, Isaac Greedstein, 47, (rumoured to be Slimeberg’s live-in faggot lover) is accused of pretending to be Mrs Slimeberg’s nephew Sheldon, and was accompanying Mr Slimeberg on 29 April when - posing as his mother - he renewed a driving licence in her name.

Unfortunately for Seymour the licencing authority inspector, Moshe Finkleheimer, had known the real Mrs. Slimeberg personally and alerted police authorities to the scam.

Finkleheimer told a reporter from the Red Sea Pedestrian’s Gazette “Hellfire, I used to bonk Miriam Slimeberg for years after her husband Shmucksky snuffed it – and I recognised that sneaky little drag artist twat of a son of hers – Seymour – as soon as he stood in front of me. What a dumb klutz.”

Following his arrest police searched Slimeberg’s house and discovered troves of incriminating evidence of benefit fraud - and disguise paraphernalia that he used to impersonate his Mother – even down to padded bra’s to supplement his own sagging man boobs.

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