Friday, 19 June 2009

Non-Kosher Electrons now Anti-Semitic

A story on the front page of the Daily Kike Whinger reports that an orthodox Jewish couple are suing their neighbours in a block of flats at Smegmadale-on-Sea because they claim an automatic security light breaks a religious prohibition and discriminates against them.

Mrs. Dimwitty Dorkberg, the head teacher of the Jewish orthodox St. Schmuck’s College of Latter Day Foreskin Choppers, and her klutz of a husband Sheldon, claim they are kept prisoner in their holiday flat on the Sabbath because if they go out they trigger the light in the communal hallway – much the same as they do on every other night of the week when venturing abroad.

As if the Nazi Holohoax has never happened, Dimwitty and Sheldon are imprisoned in their Auschwitz Towers holiday home on the coastal town’s Gaza Boulevard sea front - by an electronic device.

While it is a well-established scientific fact that electrons are negative - at least symbolically - from now on they fall under the category of anti-Semitic.

The Dorkbergs, in typical display of numpty dumpty Jewish logic, claim their human rights are being breached and are suing the flat's management company, which includes their 35 neighbours, for failing to accommodate their archaic religious beliefs.

For readers who are unaware of the idiotic nuances of the orthodox Jewish religion, they hold that the Talmudic prohibition of lighting a fire on the Sabbath also embraces the switching on of electric lights. Their heathen Sabbath begins at sunset on Friday and lasts until Saturday night.

The Dorkbergs moved into the flat in the spring of 2003 when the common access hallway lighting was switched on all through the hours of darkness – which was apparently okay as the Dorkbergs themselves were not turning on the light.

However, when the management company fitted the motion sensor light switches to each level of the building’s hallways six months ago - to save energy and money – this meant that when the Dorkbergs exited their flat onto a pitch black hallway they turned on the security lights –which is a big no-no in the Talmud’s kosher brochure for Sabbaths.

The couple claim they were advised by solicitors Greedstein & Fleecem they had a strong claim in opposing the installation of the motion detector switches.
They have now issued a county court writ against the management company, saying it has discriminated against them on the grounds of their bonkers religion and want an override switch fitted for their personal use – so they can stumble around in the dark and fall down the stairs.

The claim also accuses the company of breaching their rights under the Equality Act 2006 and Human Rights Act 1998.

All observant orthodox Jews trace the switching on of electric lights back to the lighting of a fire, one of the original 39 Sabbath prohibitions.
Conversely Jews possessed by some modicum of common sense make an exception in the case of security lights because of the safety implications.

However the Auschwitz Towers Management Company told a reporter from the Jew-Baiters Gazette that the installation of an override switch would set an "unacceptable precedent and the Dorkstein’s legal threats were an act of barratrous pursuit.”

One resident, Jack Himmler, commented: " There is a feeling that things should not be changed just to suit that pair of fat whingeing yids in their upstairs flat when everyone else is happy with the new security lighting system.”
“There’s been a meeting about it and many of the residents are not happy and want to start a pogrom.”

The Auschwitz Towers company is made up of three directors who all live in the block and represent the 36 flat owners.

In a statement to the gutter press Barry Goering, a local BNP councillor and the official company spokesman declared : “My fellow directors and I believe that all lessees at Auschwitz Towers support the actions taken by the management company to reduce communal lighting electricity costs, and to minimise repair and maintenance costs by preventing heat damage to light fittings and prolonging their life."
"Hence it is, overall, a money-saving measure - which to penny-grabbing Yid types should present an appealing modification.”

“The directors further believe that all other lessess support the installation of movement sensor controls in the hallways and have no personal problems with their installations. Further Mrs. Dorkberg calling other residents a bunch of goyim scumbags isn’t a tactical or diplomatic approach to resolving the conflict.”

The chief inspector for Smegmadale-on-Sea’s Health and Safety Executive, Mr. Ronnie Eichmann, told reporters “Typical – these people maintain and exercise Dark Ages religious edicts that should have been binned decades ago."
"If they have the lights turned off every weekend to suit their daft whims then what happens when a neighbour goes tits up in the dark?”
“However, what do you expect from a religious cult who still snip the ends off their cocks because ‘God’ told them to.”

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